I'm new to this so bare with me. My wife constantly asks for affection ie. backrubs, rub head, scratch back, rub neck. I have trouble doing this. I'm not sure what the problem is, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I do some of periodically, but she fails to remember those times. It's endless the need for her. Any help out there??? I love her greatly, but sometimes she gives me guilt trips saying "if you loved me you would do these things for me..." This is frustrating. We're both in the process of going through "his needs, her needs" I'm hoping this will help.
T

Why do you have such a hard time giving back rubs? Do your hands hurt? Try some rubbing oil.

I bought a couple of books on massage and really learned how to do it. It is worth studying. I believe it deposited many points into my account. I also have developed a killer foot rub based on reflexology. It seems to work best when it does not quite hurt. (reflexology can be painful) Go get a back rub and a reflexology treatment and make notes about what you like about it. Ask your mate as you work what they like best.
And pay attention to the non word (still sometimes "verbal") cues. Find ways to do the things that generate positive comments and noises, and avoid the painful motions.

I use lotion to rub her feet, and she really loves it!<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Good luck!!!

You can even go to a local health store and ask if they have any books on massage.

I know the one here has quite a few of them, they even sell base and essence oils and small bottles to mix your own fragrances.

You don't even need to use oils you can use pretty much any body lotion you purchase at a local grocery store.

I made my own scented oil, sort of. I use Almond Oil for a base. The oil has been used on salads and stuff so this type of oil is edible. I then take some cinnamon concetrate to mix in. The result is a very powerful aromatic oil that can be used for massage.

I used this just last weekend, it was great. Plus the thing I like is I can still smell it on the bed or blankets days after and it makes me smile.

I found all this at Whole Foods.

Body massages are sensual too; and can be quite romantic. My wife loves it when I give her massages - its kinda fun toying with her when I do it too =)