Recreational / Religious Conflict & Enthusiastic Agreement - 10/12/07 05:17 PM
My husband & I have been married for 10 years. When we married, we enjoyed recreational activities together & I was given the impression that my husband believed in God but didn't ever want to attend church. 5 - 10 years later, while we still enjoy some recreational activities together, the activities we're passionate about have changed. My husband suddenly decided 2 years ago that he wanted to attend church regularly. After reading Marriage Builders books, I decided I should attend with him. We tried this for a year and still, I hated attending. He wanted to become even more involved and make it the centre of his life. This to me, would go completely against what I want out of life. How could I agree to center my world around the church when I don't have a belief in God. Even worse to me, would be extending our social activities with people in the church or helping out the church with my time.
This doesn't seem to be something we can get past. He insists that church is necessary. He recently agreed to stop attending the church and find another venue that I would like more but I know I will not be happy attending any church. With the policy of joint agreement, I know he shouldn't be pressuring me to attend but justifies to himself that it's a higher good. To try to compensate myself, I counter propose with a recreational activity that I love and he dislikes. I know this is not the path to a happy marriage but am having difficulty negotiating with something as sensitive as core religious beliefs.
I should mention we do most things in life together. We run a business together & spend almost all of our time together. I feel we are mostly on track but this is something we haven't been able to get past.
Advice appreciated. When it comes to religion, the beliefs are so strong it seems near impossible to apply the POJA.
RS
This doesn't seem to be something we can get past. He insists that church is necessary. He recently agreed to stop attending the church and find another venue that I would like more but I know I will not be happy attending any church. With the policy of joint agreement, I know he shouldn't be pressuring me to attend but justifies to himself that it's a higher good. To try to compensate myself, I counter propose with a recreational activity that I love and he dislikes. I know this is not the path to a happy marriage but am having difficulty negotiating with something as sensitive as core religious beliefs.
I should mention we do most things in life together. We run a business together & spend almost all of our time together. I feel we are mostly on track but this is something we haven't been able to get past.
Advice appreciated. When it comes to religion, the beliefs are so strong it seems near impossible to apply the POJA.
RS