Marriage Builders
Posted By: new_beginning Open message to the Ladies :-) of WBS - 02/23/02 04:54 PM
Hello my dear FRIENDS,<p>I just wanted you all to know that I won't be around as much, and if I don't respond back to something it isn't because I'm shunning, ignoring or trying to hurt anyone.<p>I mentioned in my last thread that I've found another board that I think suits my needs better as a second wife and step mom. There are some Christian ladies there too (although it is NOT a Christian site -- which is sometimes difficult, but not insurmountable (sp?)) and they began a new group on MSN and are doing the POPW. I'm trying to keep up with them, but I'll tell ya, it's a chapter a day, and I'm already falling behind!! LOL <p>I was, as ya'll know, one of those people who basically turned on my computer and checked on MB off and on all day. I was a Harley-ite [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] !! I do still hold dear to the concepts and use them in my second marriage. I will always, always use the concepts (well, I'll try! My H and I haven't even had a fight yet, so I guess time will tell - LOL [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] ).<p>One of the things I've noticed lately is that there is a new crop of folks who truly do NOT want to hear Harley advice. I have moved past wanting to rehash my personal story to everyone, and had gotten quite comfortable with simply sharing what I've learned using the concepts. That's not what people seem to want to hear. <p>So, this isn't a "goodbye" message, just a "I won't see you as often" one.<p>This truly is the gentle forum (the WBS area) and I certainly will check up on you gals as often as possible. I will be praying for you, and I hope you will continue to pray for me!!<p>BIG HUGS, and Love,
Posted By: Pahakissa3 Re: Open message to the Ladies :-) of WBS - 02/24/02 06:57 AM
As one of My friends would say Girlly Girl Friend you GO!!! Lets just say in college I had some of the oddest friends...but I still love them soo much.<p>Sheryl --- you have no idea how happy I am too see you finally let go of the past and move forward!!!!! You deserve a happy marriage. I know what the bible says about second marriage but God is also a loving and forgiving Father. You give me hope that I might have a second chance at love. Because let me tell you I am so desperate for a boyfriend right now. <p>I am still praying for you and your new H and that you find a job soon after you get the paper work done.
Posted By: sing Re: Open message to the Ladies :-) of WBS - 02/23/02 08:41 PM
Sheryl,<p>YOU will be missed. <p>I think of you as my special angel. I am not sure if I would have surivied those last awful months in Singapore.<p>I am so happy that you don't need here as much and are moving on to other places.<p>love & good luck always to you<p>Gina
Oh hi!!<p>I'm not quite dead yet!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I'm still around... but spending way more time at the other site. I'm writing little novellas around here -- jumping way up on the ol' soapbox, doncha know!!<p>Just know that if you don't see me suddenly... that it wasn't so sudden, and I finally crossed over into the twilight zone of second-wife-dom!! <p>Love and Hugs!!
Posted By: daybreak Re: Open message to the Ladies :-) of WBS - 02/24/02 01:39 AM
nb,<p>Best wishes and God's Blessings as you continue moving forward in your life.<p>I do appreciate what you have been through and that you are able to share from your experiences.<p>Dawn
Hi Sheryl,
I'm in a similar boat. I found a forum for passive aggression where I've found wonderful understanding and support. Now that I'm separated, I notice that I spend a LOT less time stressing over marital issues. It feels like I've regained something that I lost temporarily.... my life! Kinda cuts into my bulletin board time!<p>Now my stress revolves around getting my backlog of work whittled down, and getting back to the bankruptcy papers (and further feng shui endeavors [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] ). I haven't answered the phone in over a year! Well, except for my friends who show up on my caller id. No "unavailables" or "anonymous callers" do I pick up. I might need to relocate the debt support group that helped me so much two years ago. I have an appointment Monday afternoon to hand papers to the bk atty. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Sheryl, you've written things that leave no doubt in my mind that you truly understand where I was at a couple of months ago. It really means a lot to me that you were there at that time. Shucks, I'm gittin all teary eyed just thinkin bout it. Love you Sheryl.
Hi daybreak and LH, <p>Nice messages, both of you. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>And LH, yes, I understand only TOO well, and have always tried to share what I've learned (even if I don't follow it myself, you understand [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] - LOL). <p>I love you too... <p>And of COURSE, I will stay in touch. I'm still here, sometimes once a day, sometimes for a few hours. It depends... I can't stay away COMPLETELY just yet!!! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>I can't stay away COMPLETELY just yet!!! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <hr></blockquote><p>ummmm, now that you mention it, I *do* recall seeing previous messages that you were going to "stay away" from here! Fat chance! LOL
Hi NB and LH,<p>Hope you guys don't go away all together. I'll miss you! I understand how needs/circumstances change and we make changes to go with them. I don't really come here too often anymore either. The Women's Bible Study board is the best! (most encouraging and helpful). <p>I'm still growing and God has provided some good tools (I see that now as "manna" in the wilderness) for me. I'm thankful for the "manna" - though it IS hard work and the desert is an unpleasant place to be. We are meant to go through it, not stay there and die, so I'm looking forward with the hope of moving THROUGH it. You are both on the path to choosing growth too - "stay on the path", as I will try to also! You are courageous ladies!
Hi again LH and hello SLW! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Well, I'm hangin' out here for a moment or two... <p>I'm finally beginning to see a time when I won't be here (on MB)... checking into the other website first, sometimes stepping away without checking here at all. This is something unheard of over the last three or so years.<p>I couldn't have imagined a day without MB, but I can (kinda) now. Hmmm...<p>Thank you for the kind words, SLW. I love your name, by the way. I'm sure I've told you that at some time over the years.<p>Well... I'm off to lay down for a bit... another migraine hit yesterday and I'm just getting on the other side of the searing pain... I hate these things!!
Posted By: Lor (Lor) Re: Open message to the Ladies :-) of WBS - 02/28/02 04:07 PM
Sheryl,
I'll miss you, but Ecclesiates tells us there are seasons to life. <p>I've never taken the "break" from MB in over 3 years, except for being out of town, but lately, I find I'm so tired of posting things to new/mid MBers that I must've posted a 100 times...BS don't date, WS no contact, Plan A does not = doormat, triggers & forgiveness, after Plan A if you can't go to B, draw some boundaries!<p>I compartmentalize the A memories for the most part, I mean I no longer read about a WS that sounds like my H was and want to go slap poor Guard about the head and shoulders...but I'm wondering if the time I spend here on MB isn't twisting my emotions in some other way?<p>In some ways I have a new marriage as well, with my old H.<p>I guess this is my own little ramble [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] , but I understand why a new place might be right for you. <p>Thank you for all your help, advice, and commisseration.<p>Love you,
Posted By: kam6318 Re: Open message to the Ladies :-) of WBS - 02/28/02 05:32 PM
Sheryl...<p>Somehow, I don't think you will disappear altogther, but just in case...<p>You are a very special person. You've gone thru all sorts of stuff, grown, changed, gone thru more stuff, grown some more. But thru all, there is a light that shines from you...don't ever doubt that, OK?<p>Hugs--<p>Kathi
Oh, right you are... I never actually leave...<p>Bwa-ha-ha [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]
Posted By: SuzzieQ Re: Open message to the Ladies :-) of WBS - 03/01/02 05:44 PM
I looked at your "new" board quickly. I love the way you have to register. Keep out more trolls [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I hope you enjoy it and get what you need. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]
Wow, Sheryl, having a "real" life sure cuts into the MB time! I think I've gone a whole day without checking what's new here. <p>I heard a good one today. It was Dobson's show I think. The program was way too syrupy for my taste. I catch myself rolling my eyes at the topic when the speaker says, "He loves us too much to let us stay the way we are." It felt like a "nugget" moment. I felt like it describes the way I feel about my H right now. <p>When I came here, I was staying with him because I was so worried he'd end up under a bridge without me. I was shielding him from responsibility. As it turns out, I wasn't doing either one of us a favor. When I felt like separating was the only way to "disallow" the option of staying the way he is, things just seemed to get a whole lot better. For me anyway. We broke a 5-year record low temp this week, and he's living in a place with no heat. At least he's under a roof, and it's easier to refrain from "rescuing" him from the cold. This is weekend #5 of separation!
Hi Sweet Ladies,<p>Well... life is certainly plugging along around here lately too!<p>Immigration papers to FINALLY go out this week! Yay!!<p>Going to a very scarey event today. Can't say too much about it, but it's at my H's old home, with his ex, her family, my H's family, and... oh yeah.... the outsider... ME. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] That discussion is for another time and place though... <p>Loving the other site, spending more and more time there these days. I have been here too, of course, but really careful about where I put my words. Even at that, I got in quite the discussion about second marriages on one thread. One of them "first marriage is only real marriage" was posting, and boy, brought up all the old fears of mine. That's why I can't be here. Just that kind of stuff. I did bring up TnT's study -- poo-poo'd right out of there with this guy. Hmmm... I think I'll stick with my second marriage site where EVERYONE is in a second marriage -- oh, and ALL ladies. Just like here... kinda like a gym with all ladies... almost feels okay to work out knowing that no men will be watching. Haha. How can I equate writing on a message board to working out? [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Anyhow, thanks for the continuing kind words... and LH, so happy that your life is MOVING FORWARD.<p>Paha, Daybreak, SLW, Suz, Kam, Lor and Sing, THANK YOU for caring and loving and praying...
Posted By: SuzzieQ Re: Open message to the Ladies :-) of WBS - 03/03/02 07:18 PM
Sheryl, I have noticed something about your posts, and I like it [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>You are getting very forceful, with your spirit, your mind and just YOU. <p>I love this. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>It shows so much confidence in you. What ever it is that you are doing for yourself..... keep it up [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]
Thanks Suzzie -- and yeah, I have changed. I don't know exactly what happened either... [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img] ... seriously, I *mean* that. I really don't know.<p>But it's like something snapped in me, and I have this stupid (LOL) need to stick up for what I believe in. Go figure! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Hugs!!!!<p>[ March 03, 2002: Message edited by: new_beginning ]</p>
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Thanks Suzzie -- and yeah, I have changed. I don't know exactly what happened either... ... seriously, I *mean* that. I really don't know.<hr></blockquote><p>Oooh, oooh, oooh! (student in back row waving hand) It's the feng shui! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] LOL!
LH is RIGHT!! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Gotta be the BOOK!!!!! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]
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