Marriage Builders
I just wonder, especially for the ones who have been here for along time (2+ years?).

Are you learning anything from it? Or you just want know about your old friends?
Posted By: Lora Re: How many of you are still lurking and why? - 12/19/02 02:36 PM
Hi O,
I lurk, post a little in divorceing. I am not sure why sometimes. It is a bit of a addiction, something to do, now I am alone in the house so its a way to have human contact.

I am thinking I should stop soon. I am not a BW any more, and soon I wont even be a wife anymore.
Maybe Ill start hanging out at match dotcom instead.... ya right.

I also try to keep up with some of us oldtimers, wonder how things are going, maybe part is still obsessing over what I could have done differently, how I could have done things better, where I went wrong.
Posted By: K Re: How many of you are still lurking and why? - 12/19/02 03:25 PM
OOOO,

I lurk and post occasionally. The reasons:

1. To try to help people who I think I can reach out to.

2. To keep tabs on the cyber-friends who I've met here over the years.

3. Because I love the login screen so much... (NOT)
I'll ditto K on 1. I got a lot of help when I REALLY needed it. This is a form of paying back.

Ditto both K and Lora on keeping track of people. I've made some real friends here. This is how I stay in touch.

Lastly, it is a bit of an addiction. There is a familiarity and a sense of safety or home here. Can't quite shake it!
I'll ditto the ditto's of Lora, K and Bill, and add my own element, which is that I am unable to work (due to immigration *still* not going through) and I have cleaned the apartment, read all the books, written, bathed and washed the dishes until I am blue in the face and bored to tears... and I just hang out to talk. I'm lonely, and I'm bored.
oh so close to being at that 2 year mark,, how about if i skate through on having bought HNHN and SAA a year before i came here!

I don't dont post at all unless I really really believe there is something i can say that will make someone think.

you probably wont hear from me unless

your a man who's trying to find a way to "Be a Man" show your emotions or a WS who is lying to themselves, OR

a controlling woman who's yet to realize how that impacts your marriage

or even a punishing BS or two thrown in there

I dont find alot here anymore that brings me peace i feel better when i dont come but i got something out of this place when i came, sturctured advice on how i could change myself set to the tune of Harley priciples....

i miss that song it plays so faintly here anymore <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

<small>[ December 19, 2002, 02:57 PM: Message edited by: chazbutler ]</small>
Hi OOOO - well, in addition to some of the same reasons mentioned by others, I still post here for, until I realized recently, an unconscious reason:

Reassurance

I still have a fair amount of self doubt that I've got my (past) situation all figured out. With a steady diet of similar stories, I can live vicariously thru others and play out the scenarios further than I had my own chance to. If I give advice that others agree with and it ends up working for somebody else, I get reassurance that maybe I DO have my own situation figured out.

Make sense?

Dave
Makes perfect sense.

I never had the chance to do the deal... to run the program. I tried, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> but trying to marriage build with a brain injured spouse just doesn't work - no matter how bad you would like it to.

I think being here prepares me for future relationships, helps me with present relationships, and lets me see all the might have beens (both good and bad) that I was never able to fully experience.

I do like keeping in touch with my pals - sometimes not always as many emails as I'd like or as I used to - but it's nice to see how they are doing... send the occasional wave... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Hi kids!

I like seeing the hope.

My name is Elizabeth and I am addicted to cigarettes and MB.

I think that sometimes - not often - but every once in a while, I have something to say that might help someone. It makes me feel good when that happens - can never get enough of that.

Yeah, I know, there is a lot of background noise... trolls, sex on EN, as we get "older" things seem less familiar... but if you look for it, it's there. And if you don't lead them, and teach them, how will they know?

<sigh>

I just like it here... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

E
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