Marriage Builders
Posted By: Nellie1 NCogNeeToe - 01/01/03 12:07 AM
I thought I should take this off Pepperband's thread.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">To continue to believe HE should be/will pay for all C2M's bills is
unrealistic and naive on her part. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">SNL should be responsible for supporting C2M for the rest of her life. Presumably when they married he promised to be faithful in sickness and in health. C2M is physically incapable of working, in part because of SNL's assault. She worked as the bookkeeper for their business for a long time, and has not held an outside job in quite awhile. He IS and will continue to be responsible for her support.

BTW, I think that their youngest child is under 18 - I believe he was only 15 when SNL started posting. I don't remember how old their other kids are, but in many states, parents are responsible for supporting their children as long as they are in school and under 23.
Posted By: LovingBoundaries Re: NCogNeeToe - 01/01/03 02:26 AM
Nellie,

I don't think it serves any good purpose to focus on what "should" be--especially since what "should" be is viewed differently by different people. I think these boards were designed for people who are not happy with "what is" and what they can do about that.

Happy New Year!
Posted By: Nellie1 Re: NCogNeeToe - 01/01/03 01:04 PM
I am not just talking about what he is morally obligated to do, but also what he will likely be legally obligated to do. In this situation, after a marriage of 25 years, with a disabled wife, the courts will very likely require SNL to support c2m for the rest of her life - as it should be.
Posted By: LovingBoundaries Re: NCogNeeToe - 01/01/03 01:33 PM
Nellie,

Unless C2M follows an effective treatment plan for her depression, she will not be able to follow through with the legal/financial things. I heard that a judge alreadyd ordered some things but C2M has not had it enforced.

Let's encourage her to see her dr. Until that happens, nothing else will either.

Happy New Year!
Posted By: NcogNeeToe Re: NCogNeeToe - 01/01/03 07:59 PM
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by YetAgain:
<strong>I don't think it serves any good purpose to focus on what "should" be--especially since what "should" be is viewed differently by different people. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Nellie,
Above is exactly the point I was trying to make.

C2M spends too much of her time and energy trying to MAKE her stbx H do what he refuses to do. It's thier "dance". She twists, he's supposed to twist back (HER way). See? I'vew followed thier story for quite a while, and i seen this pattern. She's still trying to make him act the way they did when they were still a "family".

She still has not admitted she can't MAKE him do anything anymore.

If there are laws that require things of him, she needs to go that route and have the courts/police/whoever helping her get what is due her. Instead, she comes here and moans and looks for pity, and threatens she doesn't want to live. She's been doing that all along, too. I suspect thier whole M'd life that was part of the pattern.

While CS maybe legally feesabile, too, remember that thier children are all old enough to be working, and helping contribute to the household budget. It's not the end of the world. I came form a similar div. situation, and I went out and worked when I was old enough. Its not the end of the world for the kids to do this.

That's my .02, and that was my point.

I respectifully thank you.
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