I need help.

in a nut shell: STBX and I have been separated for almost 10 months now. He left when I was pg with our second child.

He was be truly AWFUL to me. has been dating, MIA, not good about seeing his kids. lieing..etc.

in the last week we started talking more and more. suggested that since he's going to be fired, evicted, bankrupt maybe he should come home and watch the kids full time. I said no, that's not a good idea. a few days later he's admitting to feeling very suicidal. he agrees to check into mental hospital because I will not take him. don't believe his parents know. His parents are really no good support, they refuse to believe he has a problem.

so now I'm currently stuck being his main support. I am not sure if he's also calling his girlfriend while he's inpatient. says he isnt but hes proven himselve to be a bold face liar.

this is an impossible situation. i do not kow what sort of support I should provide? I've taken the kids to teh visitation hour, and he's really happy to see them and me. He SAYS that he's reevaluating things. (again, he's lied so many times I honestly can't say I believe him... maybe he feels that way NOW, but unlikely that feeling will last)..

anyone have any opinions or experience with this?

so hurt,

I think he is the one who needs help, not you.

He has to prove you that what he is saying is true by acting on his words. Don't believe him now. Don't help him. Don't provide any support. His GF is the one that must do this, not you. He has to go through the process of reevaluation full circle, not just "reevaluating things now". As soon as you become his sole provider and supporter, reevaluation will stop. Do you want to have him like that? I think not. Give him time to prove himself before providing him with anything. Take care of YOURSELF first.

Just my .02

I agree. He is just using you.
Let him hit rock bottom and decide to show by his ACTIONS that he is willing to do the work he needs to get help.

DO NOT BE AN ENABLER for him. It will go on forever. If he still has a gf, let her deal with him. She'll get tired of him quick enough. Don't let him use you.

Adrift45

so hurt,

Make that three in agreement. He has demonstrated nothing that should make you believe he has changed or comitted to the marriage in anyway. As you already know....talk is cheap. Please don't be swayed by pity to let this man back into your home. So sorry.

Everyone, thanks for your replies.

I have placed a call to the facility this morning to discuss his leaning on me after being truely awful to me. And that he doesn't want his parents to know he's there, and that they are in denial that he has any problems whatsoever. I should be getting a call back shortly.

In the last 24 hours I have learned there is not just ONE OW, but multiple. STBX has claimed there were NONE. But admitted to each one as it becomes apparent and undeniable.

I'm trying to help STBX as though he were just a friend in need. But it's quite difficult when he tells me he's reevaluating things and "there is no one else"... Ok, I didn't ask him if there was... he says it on his own. He doesn't have to say it. AND it's a lie.