I am new here, I guess I am just lurking until I find out whether my husband of 18 years is faithful to me or not. I haven't been too sucessful in finding out the truth. I have done some looking and I think there is someone at work that he has been seeing but I cannot prove anything yet. She is divorced and lately my husband thinks we should start going to bars and having more fun. He has found fault in everything I do and I just had that gut feeling. If I ask about her he always says that he doesn't know much about her, doesn't talk about her at all. I found out though that he has called her on his cell phone, I didn't bring that up to him because I figured he would just lie about it or come up with something else. So I ask if he ever has to deal with her in his line of work and he told me no. So I figured why would he need to call her then. For now I am waiting, as much as it is killing me I know that it will come to light sooner or later.

But my question for all of you is how do I go to his Christmas party and see her. I know that it is going to just eat me up inside. Where they work she is very outgoing and they all seem to like her. She is a party girl who likes to have fun. My husband likes to drink and then he tends to go off and talk to everyone. I do mingle at his parties but I don't feel as outgoing there and seeing her face will really put me in an insecure spot I am afraid. Can anyone offer me some advice or anything to help.
Thanks
Jane

Wondering - All the signs are there, the denying, finding fault etc. Start in Plan A. Read about it here. I can't blame you for being concerned about the Christmas party. In the meantime, go out and have some fun with H.

Thank you for your advice. Has anyone ever been in this situation and what did you do. I think seeing my husband talk to her will tear me apart
help!

Wondering, just try and look as gorgeous as you can and don't let her intimidate you. Are there some other wives you know that you can talk with?

As far as catching him, I would suggest putting a tape recorder on your home phone, tapping your computer and even hiring a P.I. I would stop asking him questions until you know something for sure. He is not going to bust himself.

In the meantime, please try and determine what his needs are and identify anything you can do to attract him back into the marriage. Be as pleasant as possible and avoid all lovebusters.