Is it truly possible to be in love with 2 different people at the same time?

My WS claims he is in love with me and OW as well. Is this truly possible? I mean if he loved me at all would he have let himself get involved with her in the first place? And now what, I'm supposed to somehow live with this news, and what exactly does it mean for our relationship? And if he does love us both then what. Won't she always be first because she's supposedly having his child? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

people say it is, but I don't think so. If you are in love with one person, you couldn't fall in love with another. Some make the argument that we love more than one of our children, that's true but if you knew before having the second child, that it would seriously hurt the one you already have, would you get pregnant again? I wouldn't have.

Romantic love is different than the love for our parents, or siblings, or children. Romantic love is between two people, not three!

I honestly don't believe that you can love two people in that way. When you really love someone you don't set out to do something that will hurt them more than anything else ever has, or probably ever will.

Cyn,

Seems that the only person this guys actually "loves" is himself. (cakeman)

To be sure, he just LOVES all the double attention, double ego boost, and double the physical (i.e., sexual) activity!

However, does he Love you in the way you take the meaning of the word? Highly unlikely.

(I am just skeptical that the "LOVE" you are talking about, is anywhere near the SAME as the supposed "love" he is referring to.) I doubt the definition you would put on the word love, is remotely close to what this guy is professing to you (or the OW).

Always keep in mind that people involved in affairs lie;...& Lie Big TIME!
So take Whatever is SAID for what it is,---- noise and air.
It's what he DOES that will reveal to you how it is he really and truly FEELS about you. So what are his ACTIONS telling you? Are his behaviors towards you conveying "love"?? Honestly?

There is NO Doubt that he is telling you BOTH whatever it is that he believes you want to hear, when he is with you each individually.
IT would come as NO surprise were he to be using the exact same lines on each of you.

As far as whom is "first": Well for what its worth, the OW thinks that he will always think of YOU as "first" because you were indeed there first (chronologically) as well as married to him. She is in as much "competition" with you, as you seem to feel you are with her.

*aside:
Have yet to understand how the women involved with the same man cannot only permit the man to behave this way, .......but indeed, they encourage it by basically "competing" (in all areas) for the man.*

You are in a very difficult situation. I feel your pain and desperation coming through.
I truly hope that some positive resolution comes out of all this for you. Take care

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Cyn1018:
 My WS claims he is in love with me and OW as well. Is this truly possible? I mean if he loved me at all would he have let himself get involved with her in the first place? And now what, I'm supposed to somehow live with this news, and what exactly does it mean for our relationship? And if he does love us both then what. Won't she always be first because she's supposedly having his child? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> <hr /></blockquote>

Hi
I'm here to tell that it is possible to be in love with two people at the same time. The reason I tell you this is because it happened to me. I'm not a bad person. I've always believed in marriage and everything it stands for. Being in love with two people is not a fun place to be. It's not about the attention. It's about two people deeply touching your heart at the right time. Here is how it happened for me. I met my H 23 years ago. He was the biggest thing that ever happend to me. Ten years later we married and I was the happiest person alive. I would give anything and I mean anything to make him happy and I loved doing it! Over time I came to realize that his feeling were the only ones being satisfied and I started to ask for more. My feelings were minimized. After a few years of keeping my true feeling inside I started to become lonely. I noticed that for the first time in our marriage that my eyes were begining to waunder. I approached my H on this and he told me "I am who I am and I Can't change". That what I was looking for only existed in a new relationship. I was crushed. Over time I became closer friends with a man at work and it evolved into something much more than I ever imagined. He filled every emotional need I was missing. I was that really happy person again. When I told my H about it he was crushed and was willing to do anything to fix it. So I ended the other relationship and tried to make it work. I have been back and forth between the two of them for two years now. It is by far the most painful and confusing time of my life. I've lost who I am through this time. My focus was on balancing who I had become instead of who I wanted to be. I love my H because of all we have weathered together over the past 23 years. He was the center of my life and I loved it. But.....he never touched me emotionaly the way the other has. I 've come to a point finally where I need nothing more than to be alone. I need to find me again. When I do that I will be able to pick up the pieces and move on. I'm a big beliver in everything happens for a reason.
What you need to do right now in my opinion is to think of yourself and what you need in a relationship. Can you get it from your H? Only you know the answer to that. Follow your head not your heart. Our hearts lead us astray and it plays nasty games with our heads. Make a decision and stick to it. You'll be glad you did. I wish I would have nearly two years ago. It would have saved everyone a lot of heart break

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Cyn1018:
 My WS claims he is in love with me and OW as well. Is this truly possible? <hr /></blockquote>Is it possible? Absolutely!! I don't believe the capacity for love, romantic or otherwise, is limited in anyway. Our hearts are boundless in their ability to care.

Is it ideal, workable, feasible, or even a good idea to try and actively live a polyamorous lifestyle? Well - it can be done, it's a lot of work, requires phenomenally open and honest communication, and requires personality types that are all comfortable with the sharing of relationships. If those things aren't there, then it's just not going to work.

Is this what's happening in your H's case? Probably not, but I am sure he'd like to convince himself of that. In most (not all) of these situations, it's more a matter of having a long term "love" for your partner, and then getting wrapped in the hormonal rush of infatuation with someone new (the fog).

And finally, what do you do about it? Decide whether a multiple partner relationship is something you want to live with. If it's something you think you could manage, then open up the lines of communication, and see if that's really what your H and OW want (I doubt that's it at all, however. I suspect what they want is you out of the romantic relationship picture completely). And if, like most people, a multiple relationship is not something you want, then launch the MB program in full force. All you can do is make sure you have tried everything you can before throwing in the towel.

Good luck and many good thoughts to you!!

Well, I'm more confused than ever. Maybe WS's out there have a different perspective on this. Some say yes and some say no. WS's mother called and she had a letter from WS where he talked about me and OW in a positive way. She was just as confused as I was. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Hello--I'm in the same boat as you--my WH says he "loves" both me and the OW, and that to expect any one person to satisfy all of the EN is unrealistic....he tells me that he has chosen our marriage but still wants to maintain a "friendship" with OW--in fact, he's at dinner with her RIGHT NOW. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

I'm just as confused....I don't expect any one person to satisfy all companionship needs, and I understand what the individual was talking about with an "open" marriage (although I don't think s/he called it that...).

But you and I didn't choose to go outside our marriage....sigh, if you have more insight than I , I will be looking for it. Good luck!

Is it possible to love two ppl at once?? I honestly don't know.

What I do know is that love is a choice! Love requires action, that's why it's a verb! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

My point? We make the choice to "fall" in love with another. A WS makes that choice. A WS could have walked away from the A but they decide to engage in it. They chose to have an A and become emotionally connected to another. They can stop themselves but, they chose not to.... Why, you ask? That's a whole other post! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Folks, it's all about choices we make or don't make...

Of course it is possible to "be in love" with two people at once - because "being in love" is a feeling. However, if you are a Christian or a Jew, and actually belive what your scriptures teach about love, then it is NOT possible to love your spouse and have an affair at the same time - because "love" as defined in those religions does not allow it. Love is defined by it's actions, and having an affiar is not a loving act toward your spouse. In fact, in both faiths, a consumated marriage is described as two people becomeing one flesh. In any affair, the WS engages in sex with someone else without the BS's consent. Since the BS and WS are "one flesh", the WS is actually allowing the affair partner is actually raping the BS. No one who loves someone will intentionally allow another to rape them, now will they?

After my involvement with OM I have learned it is indeed possible to love 2 different people at the same time… We might not necessarily love both people with the same type of love, and the love may be imperfect and not “real” love ("falling in love" is not "real" love), but it is however possible to have feelings of love for more than 1 person at the same time. The existence of the “love bank” as described by Dr Harley also explains this phenomenon very clearly.

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by mgm:
What I do know is that love is a choice! Love requires action, that's why it's a verb!

My point? We make the choice to "fall" in love with another. A WS makes that choice. A WS could have walked away from the A but they decide to engage in it. They chose to have an A and become emotionally connected to another. They can stop themselves but, they chose not to....<hr /></blockquote>I 100 % agree that “real/true” love is a choice because “real” love in the biblical sense of the word is the agape/Godly love as described in Corinthians 13 and involves ACTION. But we CAN’T choose to “fall in love” (romantic love) because “falling in love” is a feeling and NOT a choice. Therefore we can’t help “falling in love” with someone outside marriage but we can choose NOT to act on those feelings because we decide (choice) to apply “real/true” agape love in our M and towards our S and act in all parties involved best interest. Out of “real” love (choice) we can also decide NOT to act on our romantic feelings towards an OP because we know it will damage his/her M too etc. Therefore, “real/true” love can choose how we act, although we can’t choose the experience of “falling in love” itself. However, the experience of “falling in love” can happen because of the choice to let another person fill our EN’s. For instance, we can choose to let a person fill our EN for conversation, but we can’t choose to “fall in love” if this need is continually met by the person. We can try to avoid “falling in love” by stopping the person from filling our ENs, but on the other hand, what about the phenomena of “love at first sight” which is also an experience of romantic love?? If it was so easy to choose to “fall” in love with people, then so many FWS’s on these boards would not struggle to get through withdrawal and struggle to get rid of those feelings for the OP. I think if all FWS on these boards would have a choice, we would prefer NOT having residual feelings at all for the OP but just to “decide” those feelings away! As Dr Harley have said: The emotional reactions we have toward people, whether its attraction or repulsion, is not a matter of choice. Love Bank balances cause them. Try "choosing" to be attracted to those you associate with some of your worst experiences ? it's almost impossible. Or try to feel repulsed by those associated with your best feelings. You do not decide whom you will like or dislike ? it's their association with your feelings, whether they have made Love Bank deposits or withdrawals, that determines your emotional reactions to them.

Here is a quote from the book “The Road less traveled” to better explain what I’ve said above about "real/true" love and "falling in love":

Of all the misconceptions about love the most powerful and pervasive is the belief that ‘falling in love’ is love or at least one of the manifestations of love. It is a potent misconception, because falling in love is subjectively experienced in a very powerful fashion as an experience of love. When a person falls in love what he or she certainly feels is ‘I love him/her’. But two problems are immediately apparent. The first is that the experience of falling in love is specifically a sex-linked erotic experience. The second problem is that the experience of falling in love is invariably temporary. No matter whom we fall in love with, we sooner or later fall out of love if the relationship continues long enough. By stating that it is when a couple falls out of love they may begin to really love I am also implying that real love does not have its roots in a feeling of love. Real love often occurs in a context in which the feeling of love is lacking, when we act lovingly despite the fact that we don’t feel loving.

Falling in love is not an act of will. It is not a conscious choice. Not matter how open to or eager for it we may be, the experience may still elude us. Contrarily, the experience may capture us at times when we are definitely not seeking it, when it is inconvenient and undesirable. We are as likely to fall in love with someone with whom we are obviously ill matched as with someone more suitable. Indeed, we may not even like or admire the object of our passion, yet, try as we might, we may not be able to fall in love with a person whom we deeply respect and with whom a deep relationship would be in all ways desirable. We can choose how to respond to the experience of falling of love, but we cannot choose the experience itself. Falling in love is effortless. Lazy and undisciplined individuals are as likely to fall in love as energetic and dedicated ones.

Real love is an action, an activity. This leads to the final major misconception of love which needs to be addressed. Love is not a feeling. Many, many people possessing a feeling of love and even acting in response to that feeling act in all manner of unloved and destructive ways. Genuine love is volitional rather than emotional. The person who truly love does so because of a decision to love. This person has made a commitment to be loving whether or not the loving feeling is present. If it is, so much the better; but if it isn’t, the commitment to love, the will to love, still stands and is still exercised.

Conversely, it is not only possible but necessary for a loving person to avoid acting on feelings of love. I may meet a woman who strongly attracts me, whom I feel like loving, but because it would be destructive to my marriage to have an affair at that time, I will say vocally or in the silence of my heart, ‘I feel like loving you, but I am not going to’. My feelings of love may be unbounded, but my capacity to be loving is limited. I therefore must choose the person on whom to focus my capacity to love, toward whom to direct my will to love. True love is not a feeling by which we are overwhelmed. It is a committed, thoughtful decision.

The common tendency to confuse love with feelings of love allows people all manner of self-deception. It is clear that there may be a self-serving quality in this tendency to confuse love with the feeling of love; it is easy and not at all unpleasant to find evidence of love in one’s feelings. It may be difficult and painful to search for evidence of love in one’s actions. But because true love is an act of will that often transcends ephemeral feelings of love or cathexis, it is correct to say, ‘Love is as love does’.

[ May 31, 2004, 05:08 AM: Message edited by: Suzet ]

" Is it truly possible to be in love with 2 different people at the same time? "

The short and best answer I have is NO. That kind of "shared" love is not worth the plug nickle.

cyn,
just a thought. as a BS, my FWW said she loved both me and OM. EA went on for months and that is what was strongest bond for them. PA occured very briefly and A ended next. you see, different EN were being met by both of us at the same time and that led to the illusion that she loved both of us. he used her in my opinion and when he got what he wanted he got scared and ran. she realized who he truly was and has regreted ever being that vulnerable. i hope this point of view helps. i believe only one love is real and true and the other is real but not true.
keep posting and pray for strength and guidance.
best wishes,rdl

Is it possible to be in love with 2 different people at the same time? Well, it's all according to who you ask...

My husband repeatedly told me that he was in love with ME, and yet there was this little detail of the fact that he was also telling his little girlfriend the same thing at the same time. So, if you had asked him, I'm sure he would have answered with a resounding "YES".

Now that the fog has lifted, he says that what he thought was "love" was something else... infatuation, just as many have already posted about. Now, he would say, "NO".

If you ask ME, it is possible to love two people in the same way; to be "in love" with two people. My answer is: "NO!!!!!!!"

To slightly alter the question, I DO, however think it could be possible to be "in love" with one and "in lust" with the other, though.

Originally posted by The Other Side:

I'm here to tell that it is possible to be in love with two people at the same time.

As long as you define "love" as getting your needs met... and having feelings "for" the other person(s) but not necessarily doing what is right for the person(s) you love ... like honoring their need for monogamy.

The reason I tell you this is because it happened to me.

It did not happen "to" you .... it is something you chose to persue. Please show more respect for your willingness to choose your own way in life. You're not a puppet, are you?

I'm not a bad person.

Very good for you. What IS a "bad person" exactly? By your standards?

I've always believed in marriage and everything it stands for.

If you really believe in something .... you do not make choices to abandon what you would "stand for".

Being in love with two people is not a fun place to be. It's not about the attention. It's about two people deeply touching your heart at the right time.

Sooooo... it's about YOU getting YOUR heart touched... right?

It is NOT about doing what is right for others... correct so far?

Here is how it happened for me. I met my H 23 years ago. He was the biggest thing that ever happend to me. Ten years later we married and I was the happiest person alive. I would give anything and I mean anything to make him happy and I loved doing it! Over time I came to realize that his feeling were the only ones being satisfied and I started to ask for more. My feelings were minimized. After a few years of keeping my true feeling inside I started to become lonely.

Soooooo you are not so good at speaking up for yourself in your marriage.... it is YOUR responsibitily, you know, to NOT keep your "true feelings" from your spouse... no matter HOW uncomfortable it makes both of you ....

No one can begin a SECRET affair without a good amount of conflict avoiding in their marriage ... This makes YOU the main source of your own unhappiness. Own it.

I noticed that for the first time in our marriage that my eyes were begining to waunder. I approached my H on this and he told me "I am who I am and I Can't change". That what I was looking for only existed in a new relationship. I was crushed.

Sooooo.... you were so crushed you asked your H for a divorce.... right?

Over time I became closer friends with a man at work and it evolved into something much more than I ever imagined. He filled every emotional need I was missing.

Sooooo... you did the honest and kindest thing, and asked your H for a divorce.... right?

I was that really happy person again.

So, lying and cheating made you happy.

When I told my H about it he was crushed and was willing to do anything to fix it. So I ended the other relationship and tried to make it work. I have been back and forth between the two of them for two years now.

Going back and forth is NOT "doing anything" to fix your marriage!!! it is doing EVERYTHING to destroy your marriage.

Going back and forth is very UNkind, very DIShonest, and NOT very nice.

It is by far the most painful and confusing time of my life.

I believe you.

I've lost who I am through this time.

I totally believe you.

My focus was on balancing who I had become instead of who I wanted to be.

Who do you want to be?

I love my H because of all we have weathered together over the past 23 years. He was the center of my life and I loved it. But.....he never touched me emotionaly the way the other has.

How could he touch you emotionally? You said:

"After a few years of keeping my feelings inside...."

How can he touch you when you stay hidden behind your conflict avoidance facade?

I 've come to a point finally where I need nothing more than to be alone. I need to find me again. When I do that I will be able to pick up the pieces and move on.

Well.... move on then... without dragging broken hearts behind you.

I'm a big beliver in everything happens for a reason.

How comforting for you to know you betrayed your values for a reason.... What were the reasons?

Really.... there can be value achieved when we look at our lives and learn from our mistakes...
What have you learned?

What you need to do right now in my opinion is to think of yourself and what you need in a relationship.

Really, I was thinking the opposite would be more loving...

Perhaps to think of what you can GIVE in a realtionship...

hmmmm.... we all need things in our relationships.... but if you define "love" as what you need instead of what you bring to the relationship... Then I guess you CAN be "in love" with two people at the same time... because it's about what YOU need... not what you give.

Can you get it from your H?

Can you offer it to your H?

It's funny how this goes... when one "loves 2 people" the 2 people can give and give you love.... I guess if this is how you define love.

Only you know the answer to that. Follow your head not your heart. Our hearts lead us astray and it plays nasty games with our heads. Make a decision and stick to it.

I LOVE this ...

YES YES YES...

We agree...

Make a decision and stick to it. YES!

You'll be glad you did. I wish I would have nearly two years ago. It would have saved everyone a lot of heart break

And now, where do you stand when it comes to defining love...

Are you more able to face your personal failures in your M? How about your conflict avoiding?

Where are you on your journey?

Pep

The Other Side:

"Make a decision and stick to it. You'll be glad you did. I wish I would have nearly two years ago. It would have saved everyone a lot of heart break"

What are you going 2 do now? The past happened, you can't change it. You might be able 2 gain some perspective from it, learn something from it, but it's over, and this particular past should STAY over.

Pepper hit all the points I could have thought of, only more eloquently.

What are you going 2 do now? Because everything stems from now.

-2long

My opinion....I can love a lot of people. When I love someone I have their best interest in mind.

When my loving becomes contingent on what they do for me or how they make me feel....it is no longer love.

As a Christian, I am called to love everyone...in action, not in feeling.

Suzet, thanks for the good input - I liked what you posted.

Pep:
<blockquote>quote:<hr />What you need to do right now in my opinion is to think of yourself and what you need in a relationship.

Really, I was thinking the opposite would be more loving...

Perhaps to think of what you can GIVE in a realtionship...<hr /></blockquote>Bang on, Pepperband. Something *I* benefitted from hearing. Thanks.

Originally posted by d_rose:

"As a Christian, I am called to love everyone...in action, not in feeling."

Wonderfully put.

Short.
Accurate.
Wise.

Love it!

.........MUCH better than my answer.... by a mile!

Pep

A lot of very helpful replys. Thanks. I talked to my brother-in-law last night and he is going throught the very same thing. His WW also says she's in love with 2 men. Is this a WS thing? I do agree that I think one person you are truly and deeply in love with and the other you think you are in love with *fog*. Maybe as long as the fog is there then the WS is not seeing the reality of the situation.

I read a book called, Sex, love or infatuation?" and in it the author said that infatuation is a strange mixture of sex and emotion and not genuine love at all. Infatuation starts quickly and ends just the same way. When you're infatuated your emotions will rule your actions, and when you are truly in love your actions will rule your emotions. Also that love that is time tested isd the real thing.
There were 13 points to ask yourself if it was indeed love or infatuation.

Maybe it's this way with WS and OP. They think they are in love because of the strong sexual feelings. And of course doesn't an A happen quickly as far as one day everything is just a feeling and then all of a sudden the next it is acted on. And of course how rational can it be if WS and OP are so willing to throw everything away just to be together?

In love with 2 people at the same time? In my opinion I don't think it's so. I think a lot of times WS would like to convince himself of this to make himself feel good. Have his cake and eat it too. Being in love should never hurt anyone. And when it does how can it be love?

Thanks pep : )

Cyn,

Being "in love" sounds much more mature and a justifiable reason to act a certain way. I mean how retarted does it sound to risk family, friends and finances because I was infatuated with someone.

"I did it for love"
"We are soulmates"
"She/he showed me how to love"
"She/he awoke feelings I thought I'd never feel again"

Statements like these...which I have both heard from and said to my lovely wife, go alot farther in the rationalization of our actions. I said them because it gave me a reason to act like what made me feel good at the time.

More of my $.02

So does this mean you were infatuated and not in love? Therefore not really being in love with 2 people at the same time but in love with one and infatuated with the other? And of course I suppose it all depends on how one defines love.

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Cyn1018:
 So does this mean you were infatuated and not in love? Therefore not really being in love with 2 people at the same time but in love with one and infatuated with the other? And of course I suppose it all depends on how one defines love. <hr /></blockquote>short answer...
yes
yes
and yes it depends on how love is defined. I guess if there was a simple definition on what it was to love, things would be a lot more cut and dry. That is the cool thing about love. It is always changing, never static. How you and I defined love 10 years ago is probably a lot different from how we would today and I suspect it will change again as time goes on (not really a short answer, huh?)

During my affair, infatuation would be the perfect description, although while I was in it I would have called it love. I couldn't see clearly to be honest. The OW had all appearances of being close to perfect. Deep down I think I knew something was wrong with her and our relationship but never really explored it. Plus it was easier to think of it in the more the more grand definition of love than labeling it "infatuation." If love is blind, I think infatuation is blind, deaf and dumb.

At the time if you would've asked me I would have said I loved both my wife and the OW. What snapped me out of my "fog", if you will, was a simple kiss on the forehead from my lovely wife. I believe at the time she was in NC from OM. That kiss made me feel better than anything the OW was giving me.

Right then I knew who I loved.

God Bless

Originally posted by Cyn1018:

Maybe it's this way with WS and OP. They think they are in love because of the strong sexual feelings.

I think this is very astute.

Strong sexual feelings may very well convince the WS they are "in love".

I think a strong sexual connection is THE bond that glues MEN to their affair. (has anyone ever heard of a WH sticking by the OW if the sex is lousy? I have not)

I think it is less so for women. For women, I think it is conversation that is the strongest bond.

I am speaking in generalities, of course, there are exceptions.

Pep

[ June 01, 2004, 08:25 PM: Message edited by: Pepperband ]

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> But we CAN’T choose to “fall in love” (romantic love) because “falling in love” is a feeling and NOT a choice.<hr /></blockquote>True <blockquote>quote:<hr /> Therefore we can’t help “falling in love” with someone outside marriage <hr /></blockquote>False. We can keep ourselves from falling in love withsomeone outrside our marriage by making ourselves emotionally unavailable to them, and by refusing to let them meet our most imporant emotional needs. This may also mean making ourselves physically unavailable to them. Of course, it is much harder to summon the will to do this if those needs are not being met in your marriage, because the "pull" from the oportunity to have an unmet need met is much greater than the "pull" to have a met need met double.

In our marriage, pre-affair, my needs were less well met than my wife's, but she had an affair, not me. Why? - Because I protected myself from innappropriate attachments by putting boundaries on my relationships with other women. I did not let myself get into situations where they could meet my most important emotional needs.

BTW - Beautifully said, Pep. Hard, but true. And I second your comment to d_rose.

I too thought I felt that way-
love is such an amazing word-
I realize now-what I shared with
OM was not love-infatuation, that
beginning stage of love when all
is new & exciting. everything about
each other is fascinating. WHAM-
as soon as OMW found out-he went
from LOVE, to wanting out-I was
still "in love"-live & learn-I am
thankful everyday I came out of my
"fog" & still have the UNCONDITIONAL
LOVE of my H! Praise God!

Who cares if they can feel love for two people at once? It's not an admirable quality to love and hurt two people at once.

It's one of those WS baloney games when they're in the fog. Don't listen to it, don't try to understand it, and don't try to reason with it.

It is hard to try and make sense out of all of this when obviously one can't.
I talked to my best girlfriend last night and she assured me that yes you can be in love with 2 different people at the same time but each in different ways. She of course has been married twice and is now single.
Then from what I gather it would be safe to say that infatuation is the fog, and true love is what is left when the fog has lifted.