Bank Robberies, Murders and OPs - 08/27/04 05:46 AM
For two years now I have been through the extremes that most BS go through .. I ranted and raved, vented and broke dishes, I cried and cried until I could cry no more -- and I never thought I could live through the pain.
I have called OW#2 every name in the book -- but I also will defend her on MB. I forgave her a year later, but we will never be friends again. While I have forgiven her I will not say she is guiltless -- yes it's the pc thing to release the OP from any responsibility for the affair – but it’s not true, correct or right.
"If it hadn't been me, it would have been someone else." - OP
"It's all the MPs fault." - OP
And I have made the point that at least in my case that had FWS or OW#2 acted with honor, to each other and their friendship, to their spouses or children .. then the A would not have happened, they could have actually encouraged each other to go to MC like real caring friends would do and respected boundaries (which FWH now says he understands and regrets not doing)... so I have faulted them both for this.
But there is one more reason that I don't believe OPs get away totally blameless . . .
If you were involved in a bank robbery, but only as the get away driver, not taking part in the actual robbery, you'd still be guilty as an accessory to the theft.
If someone was killed during that robbery, even though you had nothing to do with the murder, you're just driving the get away car -- you can still be charged and convicted of murder.
OPs are accessories to the pain a BS goes through -- they aren't absolved of it, they helped cause it. And by extension if the affair causes the end of a marriage, they are an accessory to that too. Even if all they did was drive the car.
I guess you can walk through life and say that your actions never have hurt someone indirectly -- but if that were true we wouldn't have smoking bans.. because second hand smoke has never hurt anyone either.*
way2
*except those with asthma and/or severe allergies
<small>[ August 27, 2004, 09:01 AM: Message edited by: way2 ]</small>
I have called OW#2 every name in the book -- but I also will defend her on MB. I forgave her a year later, but we will never be friends again. While I have forgiven her I will not say she is guiltless -- yes it's the pc thing to release the OP from any responsibility for the affair – but it’s not true, correct or right.
"If it hadn't been me, it would have been someone else." - OP
"It's all the MPs fault." - OP
And I have made the point that at least in my case that had FWS or OW#2 acted with honor, to each other and their friendship, to their spouses or children .. then the A would not have happened, they could have actually encouraged each other to go to MC like real caring friends would do and respected boundaries (which FWH now says he understands and regrets not doing)... so I have faulted them both for this.
But there is one more reason that I don't believe OPs get away totally blameless . . .
If you were involved in a bank robbery, but only as the get away driver, not taking part in the actual robbery, you'd still be guilty as an accessory to the theft.
If someone was killed during that robbery, even though you had nothing to do with the murder, you're just driving the get away car -- you can still be charged and convicted of murder.
OPs are accessories to the pain a BS goes through -- they aren't absolved of it, they helped cause it. And by extension if the affair causes the end of a marriage, they are an accessory to that too. Even if all they did was drive the car.
I guess you can walk through life and say that your actions never have hurt someone indirectly -- but if that were true we wouldn't have smoking bans.. because second hand smoke has never hurt anyone either.*
way2
*except those with asthma and/or severe allergies
<small>[ August 27, 2004, 09:01 AM: Message edited by: way2 ]</small>