After many months of No-Contact.... it's come to this

Ladies and Gentlemen..

Maybe some of you remember me.. maybe not. To refresh your memory.. I am the FWW. The last contact that I've had with the OM is July 7th. I have not called, emailed, or contacted this person since then. I am actually pass the point of the fog and withdrawal and am beginning to now be able to work on either making my marriage work or ending it. If my husband and I can not make it work.. it will NOT be because of another person. I have been faithfully giving to my marriage what I should have been giving to it years ago and i'm finally starting to feel better about it.

Here's my problem.... I have been receiving calls on my cell phone from this OM girlfriend. Last night she left a vmail msg telling me to stop calling her man. I did not hide this from my husband, in fact, he was there when i first retrieved it, so i let him listen to it. In the msg, she sounds seriously unstable and desperate. I HAVE NOT made any attempt whatsoever to contact this man. My cellphone bills are open for public scrutiny, and there is not one instance of an outgoing call to him. Actually, I thought or think he's changed his cell phone number.

The calls that I receive from her are actually from her cell phone or a calling card. My question is... should I call this woman back, should I send an email to him (while we both deleted our email accounts, I know he has a website with an email on there that i could probably send to). Or should I just ignore it. I believe, with all my heart, that this man has found another OW and is placing blame on me, to distract her from what he's doing, of course that's just my theory.

What should i do? I can not change this cell phone number with out lots of work, because it's attached to my job and I'm on call with it.

Feelin:

Whatever you do, don't call him! That might be the underlying agenda.

Can't you tell your work that you are being harassed on your cell phone and let them handle it?

As a bw who has called the ow to find out the truth, since the wh would not tell me, I would suggest you call her back and straighten things out with her. That way she can concentrate on what is really going on with him instead of focusing on you. If she is unstable, there are ways she can find out where you live, and you do not want any unpleasant scenes. Sometimes just getting reassurance from the other women (even if they are lies) will help to calm her down and focus her anger where it belongs on her H.

I think you should call her with your husband present. The OM may be lying to her or he may be cheating on her with someone else.
Do not contact the OM by telephone or by e-mail. If you need to contact him, do so by snail-mail <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> and let it be a NC letter. Then let your H read it and post it.

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by mimi1254:
 Feelin:

Whatever you do, don't call him! That might be the underlying agenda.

Can't you tell your work that you are being harassed on your cell phone and let them handle it? <hr /></blockquote>I can do that... it's just a lot involved because my cell phone number is listed on alot of distribution and automated dialings lists world-wide.

I most definitely WILL not contact him!

FeelingGuilty,

I think your theory is probably rightâ€¦

Whatever you do, DONâ€™T contact or e-mail the OM at all! This will only make things worse and hamper your recovery. Stick to NO CONTACT!

Suzet

I agree with you in that it sounds like the OM may have dumped her for another woman [not surprising] and she somehow got ahold of your number by going through his phone book records beleiving that you might be that OW. I suggest that you ignore her calls by either hanging up on her or report her to you cell phone provider as a harassing caller to see if they can either block her number or report her to the local authorities. You can't reason with an emotionally unstable person.

Thank you all for the wonderful advice. I have decided to not contact either person (my husband suggests that I just simply ignore the calls). I will look into changing my number through my company and hope that will be the end of it.

GREAT DECISION!!!!

Hi there,

great decision. I agree completely: "Ignore" and "NO" contact whatsoever.

hugs
bb

One more call from this woman this morn'n.. she is seriously not stable and sounds boderline dangerous. Thank God they do not live in my state or know my address. I just put in a request to change my cell phone # with very little effort.

would i be going to far if this continues, to press harrasment charges?

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by FeelinGuilty:
 would i be going to far if this continues, to press harrasment charges? <hr /></blockquote>NO.

Ok.. i got yet another call, this time I picked up the phone, not knowing it was fromh her... She actually asked for me "by name" and then proceeded to tell me to stop calling her man, then hung up. This is happening more frequently and obviously before my cell phone # change can take affect. I am going to place a call to my local police dept and ask them how do i proceed with this matter.

This lady is obviously far from stable.

It's time to get the police involved into this because until she sees that there are consequences to her actions, she will continue doing it and if left unaddressed it might even make her bold enough to escalate it to a physical confrontation with you.

FG,

Given she is continuing to call you, here is what I would suggest. Have your H call her and explain that he has access to ALL of your phone records and that he KNOWS you have not called OM. It might be useful to point out that OM may have another woman.

Further, your H can point out that if the call persist he will assist you in filing harrassment charges against her.

Then proceed with the phone number change. I know it is odd, but it is not unusual for the BS to have to protect the WS in these situations. Let all contact with her be through your H.

God Bless,

JL

well, it's going to take 5-7 days for my cell number to be changed. I did make a formal complaint with the local police dept. however, since she lives in another state.. they said that they would have to contact the local officials there. And also advised that I change me phone number and avoid any form of contact with this person.

I guess this is another reason as to Why not to get involved in an A. Besides the uphill battle i'm dealing with in my own M, from this selfish act.. i am now having to deal with a physcopath, seriously disturbed, undoubtedly hurting OW...

You are so right. As are dangerous and destructive to all concerned. So is alcoholism, though, which is another form of addiction.

It's a good idea to steer clear of the FOW. The FOW in my case was looney, too. However, she eventually settled down and moved on to her next prey.