A need to talk - 05/17/05 03:54 PM
Hi guys...sorry this is somewhat OT. It is what I am and gives some understanding of me and why I chose to have an A. Have you figured out some of your "whys?"
I am having an enormous struggle and so I thought I'd burden you with my burden. Hey you can't make me sleep in the spare bedroom <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It is just that I feel like I am trapped in the snow being pushed in front of a snow plow (great image for someone who lives in OC <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />) and the "snow" is the above list. I struggle with getting into the "drivers seat" and pushing "the mess" off to the side of the road.
H
I am having an enormous struggle and so I thought I'd burden you with my burden. Hey you can't make me sleep in the spare bedroom <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />
Quote
The following are some of the characteristics, agreed upon
by one Alanon-Acoa group, that result in problems in our lives.
a. We became isolated and afraid of people and authority figures;
If you could only see me right now and those that I am trying to avoid.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
b. We became approval seekers and lost our identity in the process;
I crave positive feedback. Most times I can get it through my writing and " in person" with my one liners...but just who in the H*** am I?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
c. We are frightened by angry people and any personal criticism;
quiver quiver
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
d. We either become alcoholics, marry them, or both, or find another compulsive personality such as a workaholic to fulfill our sick abandonment needs;
B I N G O how about an A?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
e. We live life from the viewpoint of victims and are attracted by that weakness in our love and friendship relations;
I am sorry I missed the voyages of the Titanic and the Challenger
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
f. We have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility and it is easier for us to be concerned with others rather than ourselves. This enables us not to look too closely at our faults, etc.
Faults? Moi!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
g. We get guilt feelings when we stand up for ourselves instead of giving in to others;
Slap me beat me make me write bad checks
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
h. We became addicted to excitement;
OMG
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i. We confuse love and pity and tend to "love" people we can "pity" and "rescue";
Underneath my shirt is a superman costume...I was going to "rescue" OW
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
j. We have stuffed our feelings from our traumatic childhoods and have lost the ability to feel or express our feelings because it hurts so much; (DENIAL)
Feelings? I don't need no stinking feelings
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
k. We judge ourselves harshly and have a very low sense of self-esteem;
After all who better to judge than me? and why feel good about me it just makes you "self centered?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
l. We are dependent personalities who are terrified of abandonment and will do anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to experience painful abandonment feelings which we received from living with sick people who were never there emotionally for us;
Of course that is any relationship...Do you see why it so difficult for some to break it off with the OP? But I was so happy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
m. Alcoholism is a family disease and we became para-alcoholics and took on the characteristics of that disease even though we did not pick up
the drink;
I am better at being a drunk than Foster Brooks or Dean Martin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
n. Para-alcoholics are reactors rather than actors.
I don't know ...I thought I put on a pretty good act
by one Alanon-Acoa group, that result in problems in our lives.
a. We became isolated and afraid of people and authority figures;
If you could only see me right now and those that I am trying to avoid.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
b. We became approval seekers and lost our identity in the process;
I crave positive feedback. Most times I can get it through my writing and " in person" with my one liners...but just who in the H*** am I?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
c. We are frightened by angry people and any personal criticism;
quiver quiver
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
d. We either become alcoholics, marry them, or both, or find another compulsive personality such as a workaholic to fulfill our sick abandonment needs;
B I N G O how about an A?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
e. We live life from the viewpoint of victims and are attracted by that weakness in our love and friendship relations;
I am sorry I missed the voyages of the Titanic and the Challenger
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
f. We have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility and it is easier for us to be concerned with others rather than ourselves. This enables us not to look too closely at our faults, etc.
Faults? Moi!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
g. We get guilt feelings when we stand up for ourselves instead of giving in to others;
Slap me beat me make me write bad checks
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
h. We became addicted to excitement;
OMG
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i. We confuse love and pity and tend to "love" people we can "pity" and "rescue";
Underneath my shirt is a superman costume...I was going to "rescue" OW
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
j. We have stuffed our feelings from our traumatic childhoods and have lost the ability to feel or express our feelings because it hurts so much; (DENIAL)
Feelings? I don't need no stinking feelings
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
k. We judge ourselves harshly and have a very low sense of self-esteem;
After all who better to judge than me? and why feel good about me it just makes you "self centered?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
l. We are dependent personalities who are terrified of abandonment and will do anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to experience painful abandonment feelings which we received from living with sick people who were never there emotionally for us;
Of course that is any relationship...Do you see why it so difficult for some to break it off with the OP? But I was so happy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
m. Alcoholism is a family disease and we became para-alcoholics and took on the characteristics of that disease even though we did not pick up
the drink;
I am better at being a drunk than Foster Brooks or Dean Martin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
n. Para-alcoholics are reactors rather than actors.
I don't know ...I thought I put on a pretty good act
- we wonder what normal is,
we lie when it is just as convenient to tell the truth and we take on responsibilities that are not ours to take...got any jobs you want to give me?
It is just that I feel like I am trapped in the snow being pushed in front of a snow plow (great image for someone who lives in OC <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />) and the "snow" is the above list. I struggle with getting into the "drivers seat" and pushing "the mess" off to the side of the road.
H