Hey Dads, if you're like me, Dad's Day is special and a day for reflection as well as hopefully receiving some gratitude, if not just a tie. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I make it a point to plan on spending as much time with my son as possible - and as much as he'll let me - on Father's Day. He's 16 and has important things to do, ya know.

Perhaps you have a ritual. Here's mine:

Six years ago on Father's Day 1999, my gift from my two sons was a white ball-cap style hat with the sail number of my boat sewn into the front of it. After trying it on and adjusting the size, I had each boy autograph my hat with black permanent marker in BIG letters. I wore it around the rest of the day.

A few days later, we learned that my youngest son would soon die from his cancer. He died less than two months later. I wore the hat just about everyday during that time. Then I put it away - only to be worn on Father's Days.

In the interim the affair occurred (d-day around Father's Day 2000), divorce occurred, the boat got sold, I have one son about half the time.

Out the hat will come on Sunday and I'll wear it all day. It'll help keep the sun from reflecting off my head. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> But it also helps me reflect on how thankful I am to have my remaining son and my Dad and how precious life really is. It will be a good day.

Keep up the good work, Dads everywhere. My hat's "on" to you!

WAT, thats very touching but in a strong way, not a 'trembling lip' way, you know ?

I have been a good dad since my kids were born, but now that I have fought for their best interests tooth and and nail against foes temporal and spiritual I am a GREAT dad and I savour every moment I spend with my kids.

I changed my job to be home more, I took on the privilege of making their packed lunches everyday for school. I am now teh hands on Dad they deserve. They didn't care I was some exec. They like it now better.

My kids now come to ME when they're sad, ill or frightened as much as their mom.

I feel at last that I am worthy of the same 'Dad' Mantle that MY Dad wore. The same one YOU wear, WAT.

'cept yours is a hat <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

You have my respect , sir, and my prayer for Sunday whether you want it or not <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

WAT and bOb, you both sound like awesome dads. I salute you! Happy Father's Day, to both of you and the other great dad's here.

I don't know what 2 expect this year. My W is at her OOSP, and seems not 2 be calling or emailing me right now because I make demands that she jettison RM. My D and son are home, though.

I guess I plan 2 call my dad and leave a message (he can't really use the phone real-time).

I used 2 go 2 SOTO meets on father's day, but I haven't been involved in old Type IIs in a very long time (though I still have one).

I expect I'll be working on the house some more...

-ol' 2long

Hugs Wat

Happy Father's Day.

Susan <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

hugs and Happy Fathers Day to all you Super-Dads out there!

Faith1

Take care of that hat.

Be thinking of you, your Dad and your son on Sunday.

Alph.

Hat is on! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

WAT

WAT I'm right there with you. Here's my story, 8 years ago on Father's day I went on a charity ride for a local childrens hospital. When I got home Mrs E. said that she thought our infant son had a fever. You know how new mom's are so I didn't think anything of it. To make a long story short that night we went to the hospital and three days later my son died in the very hospital that I ridden for.

Now that I am back in the city where this all occured I will make my ride past the hospital, stop, reflect, then I'll come home and hug my other three children so tight their eyes will bug out.

Oh yeah and my oldest son is taking me to my first F-1 race.

Happy Father's day one and all and always remember IT'S A GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

{{{{{WAT}}}}}} thinkin' of ya bruv

& Mr E and all bereaved Dads on this day.

I really, really wish my WH could talk to guys like you. If he did, maybe he wouldn't throw away his kids like he has.

(GG, wiping tears from eyes)

GG, talking doesn't do jack when WS dive headfirst into the moral sewer of infidelity.
He will wake up one day and have to live with himself.

The mettle of the man will be shown then as to how he deals with that revelation.

All blessings.

Bob, I guess I've seen his mettle. WH deals with it by blaming everybody else and then pushing his kids away.

I'll take all the blessings I can get. I hope that you had the most wonderful Father's Day.

(And isn't it odd that in the UK, "Mothering Day" is about a month earlier in than in the US but Father's Day is the same day and it isn't "Fathering Day"!)

My daddy (now 83) is great.

I remember when I was little, he would take me to the local park swimming pool on hot summer days. I would climb all over him like he was a tree when we were in the pool. Stand on him, hang on him and he would run around as fast as he could (in knee deep water) making monster noises like he was trying to 'get me'. He'd make a face that would indicate he was 'game' ..... later I recognized he'd stolen that face from Harpo Marks (hunched up shoulders, pooched together lips over a protruding tongue, puffed out cheeks, crossed eyes, and shaking hands crossed over each other) ....

In the pool I'd hang onto his neck screaming "Airplane, airplane" ... until he'd finally say "OK" .... then he's hold onto one wrist and one ankle and swing me around and around 'crashing' me into the water, then soaring me above the water until I crashed again. And then, depending on my swimming skills and the surrouning crowd of kids at the time ... he's either 'land' my plane gently in the shallow water, or (better yet) 'launch' me like a rocket into the air to crash land a few feet away <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> ... thrilling flight!

Then, he'd usually swim away fast, because if he didn't, I come back to him immediately begging "Again Daddy! Again!"

Once, he caught me and my friend Claudia 'smoking' in the car parked in front of our house. (We were about 12 years old) He put on his sternest face while Claudia and I hurredly hid all the evidence. He saunters up to the window and says "Light 'em up girls." ... We froze. "I said (pause for effect) LIGHT 'EM UP !"

We sheepishly showed him our cigaretts ... rolled up paper with crayoned red 'flame' at one end. He lauughed and laughed. I remember wishing they were actual cigaretts so I would get in trouble instead of be laughed at !

My Dad was the table tennis champion of all time! He'd feign a bad knee limp, and the boys we were entertaining at our house would be lured into challenging this lame old man into a ping-pong game. Dad was a ruthless player. He played to WIN no matter the age of his opponent. And he ~always~ won. Then, he'd take a 'victory dive' ... this was always my favorite part ....( by this time we had our own backyard pool) ... after Dad had humbled the young man at ping pong ... Dad would throw his arms up and yell "yahoo" and then he'd run around the game table and then off he's go to the back of the yard and dive into the pool .... yelling all the way.

Dad taught me to play chess when I was 6. After I played the game a few times ... he'd play to win. Once in awhile, he'd do a 'victory dive' into the pool after beating me at chess. I did not find it so entertaining when I was the loser ... it was much funnier to watch when he'd beaten a boy at competition. But I got pretty good at chess. (I don't play chess anymore ... too slow ~LOL~)

Dad would scare the bejezzus out of the neighborhood kids on Halloween! He'd wear a black rain cape and a scary mask, and answer the door making gutteral sounds.... the kids older than 9 or so REALLY loved this and would return over and over (this was when it was acceptable to hand out HOMEMADE treats! Can you imagine?)

Well, one of my slumber parties got invaded by the very same Halloween Monster and 3 of 'us' peed ourselves from a combination of laughter and fright! (Why is getting scared so darn much fun?) I think my Mom was not as amused by this as much as we kids were..... now that I reflect, she was probably 'harrumping' herself off in another room. Hahahhaaa

My Dad was the handsomest man ever. To my loving eyes, he was the spitting image of Cary Grant. I worshiped him ... until teenage hormone hell ... when I 'despised his guts' as this lovely stage of maturation passed .... We'd have horrific political debates .... which upon reflection, were not that dissimilar to our chess matches .... he'd lure me into a particular thought corner, then 'checkmate' me. I hated that, being outsmarted by the old man.

I am crying now .... my Daddy is so frail .... so broken with his grief over losing Mom last year.

gotto go

but HAPPY FATHERS DAY all you wonderful men!

Maybe now you understand why I LOVE MEN so much ..... MY DAD WAS THE BEST! He was not perfect, he was wild at times ... but he was always masculine and powerful in my eyes.

Pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

my Daddy is so frail .... so broken with his grief over losing Mom last year.

The price of true love. I am sure your dad wouldn't change a thing, even his brokenness now if it meant he loved your Mom one percent less.


All blessings. From a Dad who hopes HIS daughter ( and son) think of me in the same glowing tones should I reach my eighties.

My dad always kept pretty much 2 himself, or so everyone thought/thinks. He always worked hard 2 support us (I've got 2 younger and 2 older sisters, some of whom have a younger or an older brother, but I don't have any brothers). At one period of time, we had 7 lisenced drivers and only 5 cars in the family. I usesd 2 drive the motorhome 2 school!

When I was little, I remember trying 2 do things with my left hand with the 4th and fifth fingers folded in - because my dad is missing those 2 fingers due 2 crash landing his Wildcat on a carrier in rough seas during WWII. He said he uses the "Columbus Method" of typing - Discover and Land.

We didn't "play" with him much as kids - after all, there were 5 of us and we were pretty good at entertaining ourselves - when we weren't in all out war, that is. But he did make lots of stuff for us. He made our playhouse (really my sisters'), and he made me some cool toys out of wood on his Shopsmith.

When I bought my Model A in 1970, he helped me replace all the rotted oak body frame parts using only a radial arm saw and a router and other hand tools. The oak he scavanged from pallettes used 2 ship electrical hardware for power plants and stuff (he worked for Westinghouse). I learned a LOT about woodworking from that experience. And the dad that presumably kept mostly 2 himself spent every weekend (minus his nap time around 2:30) helping me with that for months.

When I was about 6 or 7, he got me one of those crystal set radio kits for Christmas, 2 see if I had an interest in electronics. I finished the radio (with a lot of help), but I never really 2k 2 electronics - became interested in dinosaurs and space before I could read. Recently, my son 2k apart his and his friend's X-boxes when they stopped working, and borrowed my solder gun and fixed them both himself. Since then, he's taken apart and fixed some other electronics gizmos - all without any training. Hm... maybe the nack skips a generation? I'll have 2 tell my dad about that when I talk 2 him next - he'll appreciate that.

He 2rns 88 on Ringo's and Pep's birthday. He's gotten pretty frail, and has been in a really nice nursing home of his own choosing for about a year and a half now. The staff all love hearing him make jokes and tell stories. And last time I was up there, he seemed 2 be listening and making conversation with his fellow "inmates" (his term) more than I remember him doing previously.

A pretty darn good dad, after all!

-ol' 2long

My Dad passed away almost 15 years ago. It doesn't seem that long though.

He was a coal miner in "Loretta Lynn Country". He had beautiful brown curly hair...and the most gorgeous blue eyes that you would ever see.

After a day in the mines he would take a shower at the "bath house" before coming home to us. Sometimes the water would be frozen and he would have to come home to get a bath...he would be all covered with black coal dust. His face would be covered which made his eyes seem even bluer.

He reminded me of Frank Sinatra...ole blue eyes. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> He would sing to us kids..."standing on the corner...watching all the girls go by". I can remember my Mom grinning when he would sing.

When it came time to "go to town" he would dress in a suit. Boy, was he fine looking. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

His education stopped at 9th grade. He was always proud of us when we brought report cards home. HE was the one that went over them with us...I have to admit if there was a "B" on it, he would ask if we could have tried harder for an "A". His smile and pat on the back was all it took for us to get those good grades. He loved attending the academic award things with us.

My brother and I talked about him last weekend when I visited at his house.

We still miss him.

committed

Your storie has touched my heart. Hang in there WAT, I'll be thinking and praying on you.
I've been doing a little cleaning out of my parents' house this last week because my dear mother passed away about 4 weeks ago. My father passed about 15 years ago now, my the little treasures I found in the basement are priceless.
My dad liked baseball, and my brother and I always played the game as an organised sport from the time we were about 8 years old.
In the basement, I came across a 1961 Boston Red Sox program from a game my father took us to. I've spent the morning perusing through this and all I can think about is my dad. What a wonderful man he was!! I miss him more than anyone will ever understand, but I hope he knows this now.
As the years went by, I used to allow my two sons to play hookey onec every spring,(April or so), and the three of us would get box seats to a Boston Red Sox game. It was "our" time together. I'll never forget those days, and apparently, neither do they.
Happy Father's Day to all,
Blessings,
Jerry

I'm crying reading it.

And as I read it, all I could see was an old photograph I remember...a picture of me and my dad. It was on Christmas morning and I had a new doll.

My dad is sitting in his chair and he is holding the new doll and I am standing at his feet at the edge of his chair. He was playing with me and my new doll.

I remember him ALWAYS wanting to take me up to his office, even after I was grown and married. He would want to take me around and introduce me to everyone. You could see him swell with pride introducing "his daughter" ~ me. I always went, even when I didn't want to, because even then I knew how special it was for him.

And I remember my daddy's strong voice in church. He sang in the choir for years. My ear was trained to listen for him.

He was tall and strong, with fiery red hair before it turned gray. I remember my small hand in his big hand.

Happy Father's Day men.

Susan <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Fathers are SPECIAL. Some blessed Men realise that before its too late.

I love reading these stories about everyone's dad. All of these dad's are/were all so different, and yet so much the same.

The greatest gift one could ever have is a loving dad. And it is so hard to know that some of us are living with a dad who is ill or suffering.

{{{{{{Pep}}}}} I'm so sorry, this has been a very hard year for you. I wish I could reach right through this screen and give you a big bear hug.

Hi all,

Don't post much anymore, but thought I'd share my Father's Day with you. Got "kidnapped" early this A.M. (seems to be a trend, the wife "kidnapped" me for my birthday. Today was equally pleasureable, but in a VERY different way <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />), and spent the day enjoying my daughters and SIL and my grandchildren. We ended with supper and the presentation of my Father's Day cards.

It's the card from G and J (my duaghters) that sparks this post. The card reads"

"Thank goodness for fathers
who know how to share,
who know how to go to any lengths-
Fathers who know
how to teach and inspire,
to helps kids develop their strengths and virtues-
Thank goodness for fathers
who know how to trust
and are ALWAYS right there
when push comes to shove-
Thank goodness for fathers
as special as you-
A father who knows...
true values
true virtue
true patience
true love
A father who lives what he believes-
A father who teaches and leads by
his extraordinary example-"

"Daddy, this card says it all...
Thank you for all you've given over the years
Thank you for ALWAYS being there
Thank you for demonstrating your unconditional love
Thank you for being YOU...
I Love You"
[signed by both] G and J

I'll be sure to keep this card very close. It's sometimes difficult to live up to those words they had printed on this card, but I'm heartened to know that they've all been watching and (hopefully) learning. Unfortunately, like WAT and Mr. E, I too lost a son 9 years ago, and now (` one year post d-day) have also lost my wife. Although it seldom feels like it, maybe I am leading by example. If that is the case...I best make sure it's a good one.

WAT...E...if your boys like to fish, my Jason loved to teach others to fish. Let's hope all those who have gone on are at peace.

I've always been Daddy's little girl. I always felt like his favorite but my sister probably feels the same way too! I grew up with my Dad serving in the military...not on the front lines thank God. He is the strong silent type. Not real sentimental...well not until the grandkids came along. My mom and my sister are my best friends my confidants...my dad doesn't want the details but he is ALWAYS there for me. Helping me take care of my car, helping out with the kids when I have to work, lending financial support with never a complaint, steady as a rock. I always thought my H was a lot like him....I guess time will tell.

WAT,

Didn't read the other posts to you.

However, I am glad you had the short time you had with your son who died of cancer.

(((hugs))) WAT.

My dad, brother and now my mom is dying from cancer. It is hard. I am glad you had the time with your son.

Happy Father's Day. You are WORTHY. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> What else can I say?

You are a Blessing to this site. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

God Bless you, WAT, you are the BEST. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Love in Christ,
Miss M

Wow, thanks for all the warm feelings and good wishes. I'm glad other Dad's got to share in the messages.

We spent a rather quiet day - mostly getting my son ready for his school service project on which he leaves for 5 weeks this morning, but that's another story........

My son and SO baked me a heart shaped cake and we concluded the day having a piece while watching the new Brian Wilson SMiLE DVD. Smiles all around. Before bed I put my hat away for another year, it having done its job for the day.


That was his favorite thing.

Thanks,
WAT

Hey WAT,
Long time.

I spent the day with my 6 yo son and my 9 yo nephew,(His father passed away in March) Our day started at the aquarium and ended at the the zoo. "I'm still worn out."

Are you telling me I have to save the cable guy "Git R Done"
Tee shirt for life ? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Take care,
Oz

Wow, Oz - how ya duin? Good to see ya!


Yea, save it. Maybe get some matching Saddam style underbritches.

Hope you're well.

WAT

Sorry to hear about your son WAT. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

I guess Divorce must be 10x easier than dealing with the death of a child.

My priest told me the two strongest marriages are the following.

A child dies. The couple will either divorce because of the stress and lonliness, or the marriage will become stronger. He said divorce usually occurs.

And infidelity.

One would think, huh? It's probably very individual, but on the surface no comparison.

But I am not ashamed to say that it was the opposite for me. Here's why, which may not work for other parents.

By the time my son died, we had gone through almost five years of battle against his cancer. Two bone marrow transplants with several years of remission in between. In a battle like this, everyone is pulling in the same direction. Everyone has the same goal. You do all you can and you fight, fight, fight with everything you have - and then you fight some more.

For me, when it was over, I knew we had done everything we could. We fought the good fight but lost him. I was proud of what we and the entire extended family had done. I and most others were able to grieve our loss, but go forward with a clear conscience. In a way, his death was a relief. No more sitting on pins and needles. No more laying awake at night wondering if there was ANYTHING that we should be doing that we aren't doing.

What I experienced with my XW's affair with her best friend's husband and my good friend - pallbearer for our son - was 10000X worse. Why? Because it involved choices. They were choosing to do this!!!! Two of the very same people who fought the good fight alongside all the rest of us were now choosing to kill their marriages and families. They watched a child taken from a family yet they turned around and then CHOSE to voluntarily take two families apart!!! I had a very hard time with this contradiction. That's why it was worse for me than the death of my son.

WAT