Here's my situation

If my efforts to save my marriage fail, here's what I am facing:

1) my wife makes 3x my salary
2) I have two boys that I love dearly that I cannot face spending one day away from them.
3) I cannot take care of my boys alone (schedule wise) with my current job.
4) My wife cannot take care of the boys with her schedule.

If I don't make it thru plan A, and have to pull out plan B,
I'm screwed. I make a pretty good living, but could not sustain our lifestyle, and could not afford a nanny without my wife's help. And there cannot be NC between us without abandoning the children??

These are a few of my 6 million questions that make me want to vomit every day.

I love my wife, my family, and everything we've built together, but the reality is, it may end with her going to her OM.


HELP ME PLEASE!!

Where would you both live if you did Plan B? And who takes care of the boys now?

I am assuming since you are considering Plan B that she is still in the affair, right? What have you done to end this affair? How long since D-Day?

I expossed the affair 2 weeks ago. She went to see him that day and said she ended it. Since then, we have been to see her psycologist and she has said our problem is that she doen't feel that we ever really were deeply in love. I've been trying to show change, but the other day I found a hidden cell phone that showed they have had contact. They work at the same building and will be in on meetings and such. She never promissed to NC, and I didn't demand it. But why the secrete cell phone?? I have not confronted her with this yet.

As far as who takes care of the kids now, we have been flexable with each other, but it is tough, sometimes she'll have to leave town overnight, sometimes I'll have to be at work by 6:00 am. So we take it day by day. Untill the A happened, I was considering staying home for a few years, untill the boys were old enough to get to & from school on there own.

Ok, I think you are far, far from being ready for Plan B. I would start off by confronting her about the cell phone. Secondly, you should insist she end all contact - I mean ALL CONTACT, and do so with a letter that is jointly written and sent by you. [we have samples]

And to whom have you exposed this affair? Is he married?

I have not gone to OMW as of yet. I thought that might be a way to turn up the consequenses if she still is having contact. Based on what the cell phone showed, she is. I thought I would confront her about the phone, if she wont admit it, or won't end it, I can tell her I am going to call OMW.

I am afraid that this will turn my wife against me, I guess this is more of the hard stuff that's sure to come.

I'm so confused!!