She is flying to see her best friend since grade school. We have traveled with them, we are very close. Best Friend's H is divorcing her and she just found out he had been unfaithful for two years. They have been married 35 years.

He is also a divorce attorney. NOW WHAT DO YOU DO?!?!?

He is a nut case and the marriage is not worth saving. IMHO

Geeze will play golf with her and have cocktails with her and listen to aaaaaallllllllll her pain. And hopefully realize how much agony and pain we/I feel.....even still after more than a year!

I would be very surprised if she told her best friend of the A. But still it should be a comforting and an enlightening 6 days.

So I will be in the halls of MB more than you all will probably like, but hey, suck it up!

If you are still reading, I have a question. Do all BSs who are recovering/rebuilding/planAing have a very hard time going to sleep next to your Former Wayward Spouse.

Do you lay there, mind racing and imagining, listening to the soft little snores (or BIG!!), and say to yourself; WTF will tomorrow bring? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

k

K

Squid is also helping her best friend through her H's suspected affair.

Squids BF also doesn't know of Squids affair. It would be interesting to hear the advice Squid gives her. It would be interesting to know how her friends infidelity-based sadness makes her feel too. But its unimportant. SO I won't ask.

Re your question: I have no trouble sleeping next to Squid. My mind doesn't race anymore, I don't imagine anything bad any more. Tomorrow prediuctably brings challenges we overcome together and usually loving intimacy.

Sickly huh ? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

BOb,

Yes, pukingly sickly!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Couldn't have happened to a better bloke!

k

Interesting how this kind of thing happens like that. Remember that in my case my wife had an online emotional affair that escalated to where when confronted she was all set to fly off and live with him...although they had never met in person?

About a month after my wife made her choice to work on our marriage, and things had started to go pretty well, I was contacted by a mutual friend from online gaming. His wife and mine knew each other from gaming together, and all four of us pretty much were friends. Well, turns out his wife was leaving him...guess what...for someone she'd met in game...JUST like my wife had started to do.

It really hit home for my wife seeing what HE was going through, and listening to what he was dealing with...he was much more open to saying what he felt than I had been...so it was a real eye opener for her and it made it much easier for her to understand then what I was dealing with.

Hope that this has the same effect on your wife.

There are two movies you can watch with a FWW to get the point home.. The window upstairs and Hide and Seek. Both movies really clearly define what most of us betrayed husbands are experiencing post DDay. I don't speak with my fww about that sort of stuff... don't even really acknowledge it during or post movie... but, could a fww really sit through a movie where the BH just flat out kills everything around him (ROFL sort of)... in a rage over the affair, and not make the connection to her forgiving husband sitting right beside her?

Just something interesting... and yes, most of us guys do lay there wondering what the heck!

Owl,

""he was much more open to saying what he felt than I had been...so it was a real eye opener for her""

I bet you would be much more open to saying how you feel to any other person other than your W.

I know I am much more open about my feeling here. My bad,dark,agonizing feelings. I tell her only good feelings.

I think we BSs still have the protection gene/instinct going on with our FWWs and don't divulge all to them, or wish to screen them from the worst of it.

k