I have been here for about a year. I have mostly just lurked. I have really learned alot from the two of you. I hope that one day I will show your strength and confidence.

What is your stories? I have searched with no luck. I may be something wrong. I am interested in your recovery and where it all started.

Thanks!

Thanks for your nice words, LU. I don't know if my story is in one place around here, it has been quite awhile.

I got here as a result of my current, 3rd marriage, which began in 2000. I found out a few short months after I got married that he was carrying on an internet affair with a former gf. I sensed something was wrong, but my judgement was so wrecked because of some recent tragedies in my life that I ignored it.

When I found out, I kicked him out and told him to hit the road. I contacted a realtor and made arrangements to put our house [newly purchased] on the market. He asked me to give him another chance and to go to counseling with him. I figured it would look better if I went to counseling with the bum a couple of times so when I gave him the bum's rush, I could at least claim that I had "tried." Well...the MC turned out to be a huge fan of MB and hooked us up with MB.

My H improved dramatically as a person because during our second session, he became a Christian. He is a changed man since that happened. And here I still am in a marriage that is happier than I could have ever envisioned using MB principles.

Now fast forward a year before this marriage. I was married to another man and in my 20th year of marriage. We had 2 boys together, age 17 and 18. My H told me he "loved me but was not in love," and felt our marriage was over. He hadn't "been happy our entire marriage," yadda yadda yadda. [does this all ring a bell?] This was a huge shock to me because we never fought and I was quite content. In a fit of anger, I kicked him out of the house.

I know now that he was having an affair with an older lady, who painted houses. I was behind her in the store one night shortly after he left and she [dressed in paint covered jeans and tank] placed her Budweiser jumbo quart on the counter. The cashier, who seemingly knew her, said "you're starting early this week," to which she responded "we are gonna go TIE ONE ON!" lol

I caught him with her shortly after he moved out and pulled him over on the side of road. While wearing a Jones New York suit, I commenced to kicking his [censored] on the side of the road in 5:00 traffic. He jumped in his truck and locked the door so I smashed my car into the back of his truck. He drove to the police station and threatened to bust me if I wouldn't stop hurting him. I agreed to not kill him if he would take the ho home, which he did.

As you can see, I literally threw my H into the arms of the OW with my lovebusting ways. I have to admit that I probably made him quite vulnerable to an affair for the preceeding 15 years by refusing to meet ANY of his needs and treating him with utter disrespect. That is the truth and I am none too proud of it.

Shortly afterwards, our 18 year old was killed in an auto accident which devastated us both.

Within 6 months, I was divorced, had met my new H, and was remarried. And here I am today, 5 years later.

Thanks Melody for taking the time to post. It is late where I am so I am going to bed. I will have more to say or shall I say more to share tomorrow.

LU

MelodyLane and Pepperband,

I aggree with LiftedUP. I mostly lurk, but trying to help when I can or have something decent to say. Thank you so much for your help. You have no idea Mel what you have meant. I did not know your story. What strength. Saying thanks seems so shallow, but I mean it to the bottom of my heart.

WOL

bumping for Pepperband

Wow, Mel that is an incredible story. I am so sorry for the loss of your precious son. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />