Newbie needs advice on exposing, help... - 11/19/05 04:28 AM
I cut & pasted this from Cherubino - her original thread is started by me on Plan A/Plan B forum...
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BIG QUESTION for you experts. Need lots of help.
After almost 15 years of marriage (common law), my WH has had an affair--last July--a woman he works with. He is now on his second girlfriend in three months. He says, "I do not love you. I do not want to marry you." (Even if we had said vows in public, from what I'm witnessing about the prevalance of affairs, I'm not sure it would make a bit of difference.) He has not followed through with his financial committments to me, leaving me in severe financial difficulties. Consequently, I have removed him from the health benefits on which I have carried him, asked him to remove his belongings from our apartment, removed his name from the lease, and changed the locks. I gave him a PLAN B letter today, which happens to be his 39th birthday, have asked for no further contact, and have asked that all necessary dialogue be done through mutual friends.
QUESTION: As I am now in Plan B, do I expose his affair to his boss, human resource people, and colleagues? As this is a common law marriage, would his employer and boss and colleagues think this is just the bitter rambling of an ex? Would exposing him at work while I am currently in Plan B go against the concept of Plan B, of shutting down, of going dark? Any advice is greatly appreciated.
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Cherubino
After almost 15 years of marriage (common law), my WH has had an affair--last July--a woman he works with. He is now on his second girlfriend in three months. He says, "I do not love you. I do not want to marry you." (Even if we had said vows in public, from what I'm witnessing about the prevalance of affairs, I'm not sure it would make a bit of difference.) He has not followed through with his financial committments to me, leaving me in severe financial difficulties. Consequently, I have removed him from the health benefits on which I have carried him, asked him to remove his belongings from our apartment, removed his name from the lease, and changed the locks. I gave him a PLAN B letter today, which happens to be his 39th birthday, have asked for no further contact, and have asked that all necessary dialogue be done through mutual friends.
QUESTION: As I am now in Plan B, do I expose his affair to his boss, human resource people, and colleagues? As this is a common law marriage, would his employer and boss and colleagues think this is just the bitter rambling of an ex? Would exposing him at work while I am currently in Plan B go against the concept of Plan B, of shutting down, of going dark? Any advice is greatly appreciated.
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Cherubino