I recall that I read somewhere on this site that a part of recovery and rebuilding is the WS agreeing not to eliminate all contact with the OW.

I believe I also saw something about the BS contacting the OW to increase the potential that no additional contact will take place.

However, I can't seem to find it again.

Can someone help.

iluvmy2, the WS should agree to end all contact with the OP if recovery is to take place. This should be done with a letter written by the BS and the WS and mailed by the BS. The BS should not contact the OW at all. Here is a sample letter:

Dr. Harley?s (From SAA)

(OP), I want you to know that out of respect and love for my wife and children, I have come to realize that I must never see or talk with you again. My relationship with you was a cruel indulgence that (BS) did not deserve. While I cannot completely repay (BS) for the pain I have caused her, I will do my best to become the husband she?s been missing. I care a great deal for my family and I would not want to do anything to risk their happiness. I will not make any further contact with you and I do not want you to make any contact with me. Please respect my desire to end our relationship.
Sincerely,
(WS)

In answer to one of your questions, you may be thinking of greycloud's thread on the threat of violence toward the OM.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...1&fpart=all