im-pose - 1. To enact or apply as compulsory. 2. To apply or make prevail by or as if by authority. 3. To obtrude or force (e.g., oneself) upon another or others.

im-po-si-tion - The act of imposing.


Reading some posts today I was reminded about this fundamental truth that was the first, and probably most important, thing I learned from Marriage Builders:

You cannot change ANYONE but yourself.

No amount of imposition, preaching, lecturing, dictating, demanding, etc. will really change anyone. For sure you can influence people doing those things - frequently with the opposite result that you intended - but real change has to come from within.

Another “truth”:

A drop of oil on a rusty hinge can work a LOT more effectively than kicking the door in.

JMHO

WAT
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Not "lost", not "saved", but doing very, very well. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

True

Doncha hate, though, that it can feel SO GOOD 2 kick the door!? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

(which protracts the process of learning that lesson, doesn't it?)

-ol' 2long

Hi there WAT!! Good advice both for folks trying to marriage build....AND folks trying to help OTHERS marriage build!!

Here are some quotes to oil the press:

William Shakespeare said: “Reputation is an idle and most false imposition; oft got without merit, and lost without deserving.”

And here's one from of all people, Bill Clinton: “There are large numbers of people who simply don't have the values and vision necessary to be part of an inter-dependent world. They think their differences -- whether religious, political, tribal or ethnic -- are more important than our common humanity. They believe the truth they have justifies their imposition of that truth on other people, even if it takes them to the death of innocents.”

but Balthus said: "I always feel the desire to look for the extraordinary in ordinary things; to suggest, not to impose, to leave always a slight touch of mystery in my paintings."

and Henry Miller said: “Life moves on, whether we act as cowards or heroes. Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.”

Nice post chere!

The Henry Miller 2uote applies directly 2 dealing with infidelity, 2. Perhaps all the more because doing so seems such a painful, perhaps even unconscionable thing 2 accept:

That from this ugly experience, such beauty can follow.

-ol' 2long

Great post, WAT.

For me, too often I kicked in the door with my head. Maybe *that's* the problem? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Ah, yes.

Optimism IS contagious!

WAT
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It is difficult to get news from poems, yet men die miserably every day for lack of what is found there.

Clinton's quote is excellent, too.

Thanks for sharing those, star!

I like the quote by Clinton also.

The Inquisition (what a show)
The Inquisition (here we go)
We know you're wishin' that we'd go away.
But the Inquisition's here and it's here to-

"Hey Toquemada, walk this way."
"I just got back from the Auto-de-fe."
"Auto-de-fe? What's an Auto-de-fe?"
"It's what you oughtn't to do but you do anyway."


Will you convert? "No, no, no, no."
Will you confess? "No, no, no, no."
Will you revert? "No, no, no, no."
Will you say yes? "No, no, no, no!"
Now I asked in a nice way, I said, "Pretty please."
I bent their ears, now I'll work on their knees!

How we doin', any converts today?"
"Not a one, nay, nay, nay."
"We flattened their fingers, we branded their buns!
Nothing is working! Send in the nuns!"

The Inquisition, what a show.
The Inquisition, here we go.
We know you're wishin' that we'd go away!


ooops sorry WAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you said IMPOSITION !!!!!!

I am ASSuming ya'll have seen Mel Brooks history of the World....part one...

if not it's a must...


Really good post...
Carry on I'll butt out....
(maybe) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

arkie

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Inquisition is what happens next when imposition doesn't work.

WAT
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Use airplane barf bags to take your lunch to work. It really cuts down on intra-office pilferage.

WAT!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> You changed your sig line between your first post and this last one??? Or do you have a roving-sig-line that changes automatically every 3 posts? (I hear those things are impossible to find! Wherever did you find yours? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />)

What? - you don't have the random sig line generator enabled?

I've been useing the Jimmy Buffett lyrics, biology today, classic quotes, and Earth Day recycling ideas settings.

WAT
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Embrace your inner fish.

Oh WAT, thank you! I had to search and search, but I *finally* found it!

I chose Things found in a desk drawer, Shapes and Sizes, and Cheeses <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />.

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30 Clear Push Pins

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

"Ever notice that things are usually found in the last place you look?"

Sometimes I keep looking just to prove that assertion false.

WAT
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The cannons don't thunder, there's nothing to plunder, I'm an over forty victim of fate, arriving too late. A Pirate Looks At Forty JB

Yes! Last place I looked, but so worth the energy!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

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Hexagonal

And by the way, to get back to the original intent of this thread (which was very important)... thank you, WAT, for saying it... it's very true.

And now, I will quietly step away from this thread, in order that order may be maintained. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

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Camembert de Normandie