Marriage Builders
Posted By: dewt Up-dewt - 04/19/06 02:43 AM
Just a little update since I haven't been around for the last few weeks...

I'm in BC now, working at my new job. Loving it.

There's still snow in the mountains and I had a chance to go skiing in Lake Louise and No-boarding (snowboarding with no bindings) in the BC backcountry.

Which was kinda funny because I was sooooooo sore after a weekend of extreme riding in the most unimaginably perfect conditions ever and Monday when I showed up for work I was tasked with demolition. I got to 'remove' cinderblock wall all day. By sledgehammer.

I'm doing much better now though. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Anyway, I don't have a lot of computer access, but I just wanted to pop in and say "Hi".

J
Posted By: LovingAnyway Re: Up-dewt - 04/19/06 02:58 AM
And you could move your arms enough to type????

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />


You da man...You da man!

Great to see you and want more when you can.

LA
Posted By: dewt Re: Up-dewt - 04/20/06 05:10 AM
lol... yeah, I can move my arms, but just barely.

I sure don't feel like the man... this has been a very intense experience... on so many levels...

Very cathartic... (I think that's the word)

Not comfortable. Not happy with what I found.

Not that there were any surprises.

But maybe I didn't see it then the way I see it now.

Lots of fear going on over here. I'm getting the highest wage I've ever been paid in my life and I'm very petrified that, for whatever reason, it will not last. I do understand that I can only control what I can control, but that does not take away my fear, it only helps me live with it.

I spent the weekend at my brothers house; Watched videos of him, spent time with his friends up there. I don't even know what to make of that experience yet...

Otherwise, I'm eating really well. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

And getting LOADS of sleep (compared to normal)

3 days into my new job and so far it looks like work is going to be challenging and extremely enjoyable.

It's very crappy to not be with my family, but that is only temporary and I get to talk to them almost every day.

I'm smoking WAY fewer cigarettes. I had every intention of quitting when I first arrived but realized fairly quickly that would be too much.

As it is, most of the time I don't even know what day it is. Oh, wait... Wednesday... nevermind.

Anyway, that's it in a nutshell.

Oh yeah, I move into my new place probably within a week or so, only I don't get paid for 3 weeks and I'm not sure how I'm going to swing this one but I'm sure it'll all work out.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: LovingAnyway Re: Up-dewt - 04/20/06 05:40 AM
Fear...as in all good things come to an end? Too good to be true? How will I screw this up this time?

Important to identify the beliefs behind the fear...not to kick it out, but to know it and own it like you are doing in the rest of your life. You're fearing and acting anyway.

You're doing that. No running involved. Know your change in patterns and permissions.

Am happy to see you choosing the board to get you through this time...another act of self-care.

So, what books are ya reading? May I suggest Life of Pi?

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

LA
Posted By: dorry Re: Up-dewt - 04/20/06 02:54 PM
Welcome to the West! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Much better end of the country <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Just J Re: Up-dewt - 04/20/06 03:51 PM

I'm glad you made it, Dewt. Love ya! Hope you're well. Really, really well. You know. Well.
Posted By: soulloss Re: Up-dewt - 04/22/06 02:22 AM
hey Dewt....

nice to 'see' you....


glad to hear you are eating and sleeping well...


I deleted the snide comment about you no-boarding in avalanche country without life insurance, 2 children and 2 ex wives that will kill each other...

aren't you proud of me ?!?! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />


*mumble...bum knee...fracnsac...grumble...break his neck...more mumbling*



Dylan
Posted By: LovingAnyway Re: Up-dewt - 04/22/06 06:24 AM
ROFLMAO!!!

Hey, SL...why don't you post more? I need more giggles in my life...and oh, the stunning snort that came out of me when I read your post.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

LA
Posted By: soulloss Re: Up-dewt - 04/23/06 05:49 PM
oh my gosh <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

I hope your sinuses are ok....

LOL


moi???...giver of giggles??..hmmmm...

maybe I need a t-shirt made up..



so....Lake Tahoe....nice. Does that mean you're a west-coaster?...
Big Sur is my fave...Pfeiffer State Beach....sigh...
Posted By: soulloss Re: Up-dewt - 04/24/06 10:12 PM
LA, you wrote:

Quote
Sit down and write out all your resentments chronologically from the beginning of your relationship with H. Be detailed and aware. Sit and feel the resentments--they talk to us...add to them as you remember more, feel more.

Then put that timeline away for two days. Walk around with all these memories freshly remembered and if you think of more, go back and add them. Do not read what you've already written down, just add.

After two days, go back and reread it. All of it. Then close your eyes and feel your feelings and think our thoughts. Come back and tell me what you think.

Then wait another two days and reread the timeline. Listen to your words, your perspective...and come back and tell me what you think then...


I want to address this when I have time (I am rather short on that right now....actually, at 5'3", I'm always short, but I digress)...


it is nearing the time when you and I sit down to a discussion, isn't it?

I've had a feeling about that for quite some time now....
Posted By: LovingAnyway Re: Up-dewt - 04/25/06 12:33 AM
Yes, Dylan...near time. Your choice. I'm here.

When you're not short on time...I've got two inches on ya, so you know...I have more time.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I take it to mean you've written your timeline and have walked away for two days? Mulling and adding, as necessary?

After you re-read it, flag me down, 'k?

LA
Posted By: soulloss Re: Up-dewt - 04/25/06 01:13 AM
no, I haven't made my list....yet

I just found that tidbit on EN today...

almost all of your stuff/writings/thoughts/advice/words resonate so strongly...

as 'they' say...when the student is ready...




I think I'm almost ready...
Posted By: LovingAnyway Re: Up-dewt - 04/25/06 01:17 AM
Oh...well heck, aww shucks, and thanks for looking it up. I have posted that for several people...few follow through.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

So, we'll see...yeah...

I believe you. When you're ready. Gives new life.

LA
Posted By: soulloss Re: Up-dewt - 04/25/06 01:30 AM
Quote
Gives new life.



hope so....I really don't like the old one anymore...

almost ready for change...

it's been a loooooong time coming....
Posted By: LovingAnyway Re: Up-dewt - 04/29/06 08:18 PM
When we really, really, REALLY don't like the way we're living...we grow.

Part of the process.

Then you might bash yourself, afterward, for not changing sooner...as if you could have side-stepped the pain that grew until you did. Silly, huh? When it is that very pain that you enabled you to finally change your life.

Hey, DEWT!

If he won't update how he's doing, will you, Dylan?

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

LA
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