Not so odd? - 09/13/06 05:03 PM
From my other thread, D (WS) is hung up on physical intimacy and has been pretty withdrawn (emotionally/physically). I've been giving him his space, while still showing him affection...striving for the balance.
Last night, I was invited out, last minute. I decided to go. D gets home really late (midnight) and I'm always stuck at home. He rarely asks me what I'm doing or where I'm going. I figured a couple of hours out with a friend would be okay. At 9PM, my phone rings, but I don't answer it on time. It's him. He leaves a voicemail. I listen to the voicemail. Halfway through, my phone rings again. This time it's my 16 y/o son. I answer, and my son immediately asks "Mom, where are you?" I ask why he's asking. Next thing I know, D is on the line, asking the same question. I calmly, nicely answered his questions about where I was, with who, how long, and when I would leave. He commented that it was strange that I answered my son's call, but not his when they were only 2 minutes apart. I explained what occurred and left it at that. I said I would call him when I left and said my goodbyes. 45 minutes later, as I'm pulling out of the parking lot, he's calling me again. Called me again on the drive home. Called me when I got to my daughter's work to pick her up. Called me on the drive home from there. Called me when I got home. He wanted to come get my car to gas it up for me. I said I could bring it to him, that way he could continue working until I got there. Well, darn if he didn't call me on the drive there. I got to his office, hung out for about 10 minutes, went outside and had a cigarette. I went to give him a quick kiss goodbye and he actually put his arm around me. He let it linger for a few seconds. I was pleasantly surprised at this action. It may not seem like much, but given how withdrawn he's been the last several days....
So this morning, I'm in a really good mood and keeping everything light and upbeat. Within the 2 hours since I left the house, he's called me 4 times. He used to call me all the time, throughout the day. It tapered off and then stopped after D-day #2. One of the calls was to ask me if something was up because I was acting wierd. Wierd? I asked him to explain. He couldn't. He just said "wierd". He wanted to know if he had done something. No, not that I know of. He said "Well, I KNOW I haven't done anything. I was just wondering if something was up."
The only thing that is up is that I went out and had a good time. I'm in a good mood and I'm letting it show. I've also taken charge of some things with my car that he's been "taking care of" for over 2 months now. I'm basically sending the message that I want him, but I don't NEED him. My life will go on and I will be happy.
We're going to lunch to discuss his consult with the surgeon. It'll be interesting to see how he acts.
Last night, I was invited out, last minute. I decided to go. D gets home really late (midnight) and I'm always stuck at home. He rarely asks me what I'm doing or where I'm going. I figured a couple of hours out with a friend would be okay. At 9PM, my phone rings, but I don't answer it on time. It's him. He leaves a voicemail. I listen to the voicemail. Halfway through, my phone rings again. This time it's my 16 y/o son. I answer, and my son immediately asks "Mom, where are you?" I ask why he's asking. Next thing I know, D is on the line, asking the same question. I calmly, nicely answered his questions about where I was, with who, how long, and when I would leave. He commented that it was strange that I answered my son's call, but not his when they were only 2 minutes apart. I explained what occurred and left it at that. I said I would call him when I left and said my goodbyes. 45 minutes later, as I'm pulling out of the parking lot, he's calling me again. Called me again on the drive home. Called me when I got to my daughter's work to pick her up. Called me on the drive home from there. Called me when I got home. He wanted to come get my car to gas it up for me. I said I could bring it to him, that way he could continue working until I got there. Well, darn if he didn't call me on the drive there. I got to his office, hung out for about 10 minutes, went outside and had a cigarette. I went to give him a quick kiss goodbye and he actually put his arm around me. He let it linger for a few seconds. I was pleasantly surprised at this action. It may not seem like much, but given how withdrawn he's been the last several days....
So this morning, I'm in a really good mood and keeping everything light and upbeat. Within the 2 hours since I left the house, he's called me 4 times. He used to call me all the time, throughout the day. It tapered off and then stopped after D-day #2. One of the calls was to ask me if something was up because I was acting wierd. Wierd? I asked him to explain. He couldn't. He just said "wierd". He wanted to know if he had done something. No, not that I know of. He said "Well, I KNOW I haven't done anything. I was just wondering if something was up."
The only thing that is up is that I went out and had a good time. I'm in a good mood and I'm letting it show. I've also taken charge of some things with my car that he's been "taking care of" for over 2 months now. I'm basically sending the message that I want him, but I don't NEED him. My life will go on and I will be happy.
We're going to lunch to discuss his consult with the surgeon. It'll be interesting to see how he acts.