How many believe this should be the way to start to mend your marriage?
"Until your H is willing to come clean and give you the full and complete story about the A you will never, ever get past this. You will not heal and trust will not be rebuilt. He must become completely transparent and hold back nothing."
I hear so many opinions and what really gets me is when I hear that you don't need to know with whom or when your WWH had/has the A. I feel he should tell me ALL; otherwise there is no hope!
AM I WRONG???
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

No you're not wrong! Total honesty is a requirement to any kind of recovery. Some people want to hear all the gory details, some don't.

Only YOU can determine what you need to know, how much detail for YOUR healing IMHO.

for me, it was enuff that i knew.
it was enuff that he acknowledged it.
i did not need or want gory details.
i did not want to put myself through that. it would have made it harder for me to get over.
my marriage did not survive but to this day i am glad i don't know the gory details. i know way more details than i even want to know as it is.

but everyone is different.
mlhb

For me, I WANT the details and total honesty from WS. I didn't get it, and now that my marriage is in the crapper, I'll probably never know. But the need to know also diminished after I'd found out that WS was still deep in the A.