Hi Guys.... a few weeks ago I posted about a gf who was told by her DH on 12/29 that he was having an A. and for those that also saw me ask about Landmark, this is also about the same couple.

She did some exposure, about 2 weeks ago, to his mom, some influential friends and business partners as well as to one of his landmark "coaches". I gave her the books i had: His Needs/Her Needs, Torn Asunder and Surviving an Affair or was it After an Affair, i forget now.

We've talked about Plan A/Plan B. Honestly she was already doing plan A intiutively. She is an extrememly strong and loving woman who even though her WH continues with the A wants to save her marriage if at all possible.

Tonight she was given the "i love you but i'm not in love with you" line as well as told that he does in fact want a divorce. she can correct me if i'm wrong but basically her response was that she did not because she believes in them.

these past few weeks, since i've known about what was going on, i've talked a lot about MB in priniples.

And tonight especially, because she is really hurting over the conversation from tonight, I told her about the support here that can be so awesome. (well and i warned her about how there can be some fueding occuring at times)

I've told her about stories of couples in horrible shape that have managed to turn things around. (Yes BobPure, I'm talking about you as one fine example!)

I've done my best to give her advice but I know I'm no expert (and she knows i was on the other side of the story).

I also told her that there are just so many wonderful people here (angels in my eyes) that can be of much comfort during especially hard moments, like say in the middle of the night when it's hard to make a phone call to a friend... (or when her dorky friend just manages to not keep her cell phone with her) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

RIF, i told her specifically about you since you are in charge of the night shift. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I can't begin to list the names of all the amazing people here so I'm hoping instead that you will chime in and let her know she is not alone and there can be hope for as long as she wants to fight for her marriage.

so, please give her your prayers and encouragement, even if she does not register, i'm sure she will be reading tonight.

Thanks.

and to you my dear friend... I hope you are reading and I hope you find some peace tonight and feel God's Love and feel Him holding you. He is hurting tonight with you. As am I. you are not alone.

FL2TH's friend,

Welcome to MB. Sorry you have to be here but let's see if we can help you develop the skills to give the A a swift kick. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

FL2TH is a good friend to help you during your time of crisis. Please take a look at the concepts section above for a start.

The books you were given will give you a good start to understand how to handle the strange being that has entered uninvited to your family.

We can help you get started on plan A. This is one of Dr. Harley's techniques to help the BS (betrayed spouse) in mastering your survival skills.

We are all volunteers here but we will help when we can.

take care,

L.

Hi to Finally's Friend,

I'm very sorry you are here. I imagine if you have had the opportunity to look around on here you can tell it's a very safe place to be and people really care about you and wish you the best.

I hope you register and come join us. For me, this is the worst time in my life and if it wasn't for this board, I don't even want to go to the place I contemplated for so long. I owe my life to people on here because they helped me not feel like I was crazy, and they helped me develop a Plan to learn about myself and hopefully one day have my M back.

I could say I think I am the worst case on here. Not sure if I am, or not. It just feels that way. But I have hope now most days. Not for my M, but for my NEW LIFE. In fact, tonight I took great steps toward my new life.

Your friend has brought you to a GOOD PLACE. Please ask us questions and seek answers and keep seeking until you feel satisfied. We are here to help you and support you.

The books are awesome to read.... This website is a wealth of free information and the other posters.... well they became a part of your life in a way. They surely have mine.

PS... Both my WH and I did landmark a few years ago. So we have something in common. I hope to hear from you.

Warmly,
Queenie

The most important thing is to realize that she is not alone, and many others have been through this and come out happy.

The WS's all say and do the same things, which is why the support here helps so much. Many, many times while she reads something here, she will see her spouse doing and saying the same thing.

It helps to not make it so personal.

Hi Friend.....Welcome to MB.

My H and I were in a state of ILYBINILWY for 30+ years. Then H had an A and we nearly decided to D....and then we found MB books.....MC.....and then these forums.

Now we are nearly like newlyweds, doing everything together and enjoying 'just being'.....together, embarassing our grown children.

My strange story of how we survived (to thrive) is in my sig line.

Welcome to "friend" ...hope you benefit here on MB.

Ace

Hey FLT2H's Friend!

I'm on the night-shift and am usually around when everybody else is asleep...

You've gotten some of the really heavy hitters posting here so I hope that you'll take the time to register and share some of your thoughts with them...

I know that things probably seem 'hopeless' right now, but if you'll read the articles here and post your questions, there are lots of wonderful people that are willing to share what they've learned along the way as they've rebuilt their M.

Again, welcome to MB!!!

Semper Fi,

RIF

Hey FLT2H's Friend I'm sorry you find yourself here, but please know there are so many helpful,knowledgable folks here that can help you. The articles the Harley's have posted are invaluable.

I'm a relatively newbie for MB. BUT I'll be glad to offer encouragement and a shoulder when you need it.

In my prayers.

thanks to all who have replied. i'll be in touch with her a little bit later this morning to see how she did last night. i didn't get any email from her either. it's possible she was able to shut it all off and sleep. i hope so.

in any case please keep the prayers coming. and share them her if you have the inclination. thanks.

Hi gf,

i got your text, since you mentioned you were here i thought i'ld bump it back up and say hi.

Ace_in_the bucket has a link at the bottom of her post that will take you to a thread about success stories. (um, but i haven't actually read that particular one, SORRY ACE!!!)

talk to you tommorow, i hope you get some sleep.

p.s. to the rest of you reading.

they did tell the children tonight. they have two kids, a DD and a DS, both high school ages.

No worries, Finally....the stories are still there so no hurry! I hope you and FRIEND find them as inspiring as many have already. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Ace

I have a login and thanks for all the support. This weekend is going to be the toughest since the H (need to learn the abbreviations yet) has chosen to be with the OW
while doing the work at Landmark for his Leadership program.

I'm heading to Houston to be with family and let my kids hangout with their cousins and just have some fun. I plan on just letting my mind go and try to make sense of all the emotions I have felt this past month.

Never thought I would be dealing with all this.

thanks for the support and I will continue to read through the postings

c-cubed (calm,confident,couragous)

Welcome.

Please start a thread and tell us your story.

If the other woman is married, I hope you have told her husband.

hey believer, OW is not married, she is divorced.

bak56 and WH have been married for about 25yrs (i think)

they have 2 kids in high school.

the A looks to have started in Sept, he told her about it at the end of december. since then he is not making any big moves one way or the other. he is still talking to the OW quite frequently (bak just recently got a hold of the phone records), however, he is also not making any moves to start divorce proceedings.

bak has been doing an AWESOME job showing her commitment and love to BH but at the same time talking (calmly) about how this scenerio has to change.

it's possible her response to his confession has confused him, maybe he thought she would throw him out, hard to tell.

Sounds like she is doing just fine. Glad she has a good friend who knows the MB stuff.

yeah, i'm thinking maybe this is God's way of making some good come out of the horrible mess i made. i wouldn't of had a clue as to how to advise her at all if it had not been for my time here. even still, i'm NO expert, that's why i gave her the books and am encouraging her to come here on her own too.