WW still claims that nothing happened. Regardless of that, she is in GA and me and kids are home in Mich. I have no choice but to try and move on.
Last time we talked was Saturday and it was ugly. I let her have it. I'm sure that was the wrong thing to do, but I needed to say some things. She still belives that I am the problem, but when I talk to others, her family included, the think she is the problem. I told her she is Bipolar and has Borderline Personality Disorder. I told that she never stuck around long enough to hear the counselors tell her what she needs to change and work on. See, I let her believe for a long time that she was right. I was so tired of arguing.
Early in our marriage, I was selfish and controlling, but that changed radicaly after first 5 years. These are the things I did in the next 15 years:
We didn't go out on dates much recently as we were so busy with the kids, but 2-3 times per week I would brush her hair, put lotion on her feet, run her baths with candles. I called a couple times per day to say I Love You, picked up stuff from Walmart at lunch, drove the kids to events, cooked dinner at least half the time, occasional breakfast in bed, spent time with her in evenings watching tv, gave her back rubs, went to church, built her dream home, bought 2 horses, new puppy. I took her to 2 Family Life Weekend to Remember:
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http://www.familylife.com/site/c.dnJHKLNnFoG/b.3204559/k.F5BB/Attend_a_conference.htm>
One was in Niagra Falls and the other I took her on corporate jet to Houston. I took her to a Winery/Horse Ranch Bed and Breakfast for our Anniversary 2 years ago. If she wanted to get away, I was OK with it.
When we made love, it was important to me that she was satisfied and for a very long time, I did that. Her biggest complaint of me was that I knew what to do to fix our marriage, but did not do it. She said that I wasn't open and honest ... OK yes at times I was not. When you get hit with a hammer for being honest about thought life or attractive women, you tend to not want to get the hammer again.
I do not write these things to bragg, but I am honestly trying to assess myself as a husband. I was no where near perfect, but I did try to please her. I had a few incidents with porn and self gratification early in our marraige and she was devastated when she found out. There were other times that I lusted, but I have never been with another woman since we married 20 years ago. She had one encounter with ex 10 or more years ago and now this whole thing. I am not on drugs, but drink a few beers on occasion. I am reasonably attractive with a great job and am considered a great dad. I have coached my sons teams growing up. I am not overweight (185) or short (6"0). I get along with just about everyone and people usually like me. I was ranked the highest professional at my level in my department and considered an expert at my technical job.
Sorry for rambling. I am not looking for a date either as I'm a married man until the court tells me different. But she has blamed me for so many things that I felt I needed to put this in writing.