Frustrated - 02/05/09 09:32 PM
FWH seems to have a habit of painting me into a corner, and it's SO irritating!!
His latest: a while back he expressed frustration at having to rush SF. I can understand this, really I can. We have two little boys, busy schedules, and we don't have the luxury of spending hours for that. Though what we've done is we both get home from work fairly early, and will spend about an hour between the time we get home until I go to pick up our boys at daycare for SF. This seems to work reasonably well, but it's still somewhat rushed. Things have been crazy the past two weeks - work, I've been sick nearly a week now (and I still gave him a little something twice). So one night this week when we were going to bed, it was late, he wanted SF. We were both wiped but really, things overall have been going really well that I'm open to SF pretty much any time he wants it. So I said "wouldn't you rather wait until tomorrow so we don't have to rush, since it's late and we're both tired?" He was going to be pretty busy the next day and told me that, so we had SF (and again, I was fine with that).
Well now he tells me I'm "in the habit" of trying to get him to wait until the next day. I didn't think that was the case, but I listened, and he used that conversation as an example. So I reminded him of me saying he's bugged by rushing, and now he's saying he's bugged by waiting until the next day - so which is it? "It depends on the situation" he says. So I said "so really, you're making it so no matter what I do, I'm likely to be wrong." "Or you're likely to be right" he comes back with.
WTF?! He does this "doublespeak" (as I call it) often enough that it's a pattern of his. I'm so frustrated by it that with his last statement that I just ended the conversation without saying anything more (this was all over text). We've talked several times about him pulling this nonsense, and making my point with him can be like pulling teeth - it's hard to get him to see my point of view a lot of times - and since he repeatedly does this, it tells me he DOESN'T get it.
:crosseyedcrazy: and did I mention Any ideas?
His latest: a while back he expressed frustration at having to rush SF. I can understand this, really I can. We have two little boys, busy schedules, and we don't have the luxury of spending hours for that. Though what we've done is we both get home from work fairly early, and will spend about an hour between the time we get home until I go to pick up our boys at daycare for SF. This seems to work reasonably well, but it's still somewhat rushed. Things have been crazy the past two weeks - work, I've been sick nearly a week now (and I still gave him a little something twice). So one night this week when we were going to bed, it was late, he wanted SF. We were both wiped but really, things overall have been going really well that I'm open to SF pretty much any time he wants it. So I said "wouldn't you rather wait until tomorrow so we don't have to rush, since it's late and we're both tired?" He was going to be pretty busy the next day and told me that, so we had SF (and again, I was fine with that).
Well now he tells me I'm "in the habit" of trying to get him to wait until the next day. I didn't think that was the case, but I listened, and he used that conversation as an example. So I reminded him of me saying he's bugged by rushing, and now he's saying he's bugged by waiting until the next day - so which is it? "It depends on the situation" he says. So I said "so really, you're making it so no matter what I do, I'm likely to be wrong." "Or you're likely to be right" he comes back with.
WTF?! He does this "doublespeak" (as I call it) often enough that it's a pattern of his. I'm so frustrated by it that with his last statement that I just ended the conversation without saying anything more (this was all over text). We've talked several times about him pulling this nonsense, and making my point with him can be like pulling teeth - it's hard to get him to see my point of view a lot of times - and since he repeatedly does this, it tells me he DOESN'T get it.
:crosseyedcrazy: and did I mention Any ideas?