Anyone remember me? update...not good - 12/01/01 05:13 AM
HI All.<p>Didn't know which place to post as I have visited them all in the last 2+ years, except the divorce one, which will most likely be my next home away from home. I hope someone reads that remembers my story because it has gone on a long time and to retell at this point would be difficult.<p>Because my H never fully gave up contact with OW,
(had a secret e-mail account that I knew about, but could not always bust into) I have never regained my trust,with good reason, and have continued to SNOOP! OH, MY GOD! WHY would I want to know... The snooping has been a big issue my H has had with me.<p>Anyway...I am able to read some of the mail he gets, and some that he sends, when I can get my hands on his laptop, so periodically I check. In October I found a letter from a prostitute which simply said "When and where?" I confronted, he got mad that I snooped, said he was just curious and had written one, but did not do any thing with her, which I confirmed by calling her and having a very interesting conversation. However, this was not the first indication that he had been, at the least, investigating the world's oldest profession as a possible avenue for entertainment when away from home. There had been one other e-mail 9 months earlier and a phone number in his wallet for an escort service in Dallas. He denies, denies, denies that he was ever actually with one. Now...<p>This caused further suspicion on my part causing me to check another old e-mail account, one for which I had the password, about three weeks ago.
I found a letter from a woman saying she had enjoyed being with him the day before, was thinking of him and looking forward to being with him that afternoon. (He was in Florida) When asked what he had done that day, he left out any info about meeting or being with an "interesting lady" so I blew my cover and confronted him. He said it was all innocent, just someone to spend time with that was interesting, that I would like her, she was alot like me, bla bla bla. Well, the next day I happened to think that I had not checked the "sent messages" file, so I did and found the following three e-mails,the first two of which were to one lady and the other to a different one<p>Goood Morning Lady,
your message did not get here yet, but i'll keep checkin'!
thank you for the phonecall last night, nice to know someone is thinking of me [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]
Which is what I have been doing of you!
We may still have a few subjects to cover, politics, religion, abortion,etc. (just kidding, maybe we can find lighter subjects to cover "more der funner ones" maybe). Either way, it will be good to see you again and be with you.
see you here [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Good morning Lady,
these are nice e-mails to wake up to...not that I don't think of you at other times [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]
Yesterday was very nice, a nice quiet talk and a good, healthy and small meal. (and the other stuff was also very sensual, I also look forward to more orher stuff).
Tomorrow, suppose you still wanna meet, should we do maybe about the same formula??
I was thinkin of things to do, like: put put, a movie, the beach (maybe not enough time), downtown disney, drive around, and I'll think up s'more....if you help think too!
let me know what you think. I hear there' a city buss from here to Intl. drive, maybe I can save you some time that way....
I'll be doin' s'more thinkin' of you in the mean time.
Thanks for a great evening and write me what your thinkin'<p>
Hello Lady,
Good morning, just wanted to write you a little note, to let you know that I really enjoyed being with you yesterday....it put a smile on my face that lasted all night [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] You really are good company!
I missed you at the airport last night hope that was not because of me!
Maybe you will be there tonight?
Either way, I know how to get in touch with you if not tonight at the airport.
Give me a week and you'lle hear from me, promise!
"MY H"<p>There you have it. That's where we are now. His newly revealed idea about our marriage, and what he wants are as follows, to the best of my understanding, and I quote from a letter I wrote him.<p>Dear H.
I want to write what I understand to be your position
and hope you will clarify and/or validate my
understanding of what you seem to be telling me.<p>First, you do not want a divorce...yet...you do not
want a traditional marriage, rather one which includes
the following terms:<p>1. You want to be yourself and be able to talk to
anyone you want to, using any means, ie, phone, dates,
e-mail, icq, etc. that suits the circumstances.<p>2. If the communications you begin with a person of
the opposite sex should happen to get flirtatious, you
want the freedom to go with it, if I don't know about
it, which I shouldn't if I don't snoop.<p>3. If the flirtatiousness of the interaction should
happen to get sexual/sensual and the person is of
particular interest to you, stands out as special, so
to speak, you want the freedom to go with it, to
experience the interaction to it's fullest(meaning
sex), without fear that I would find out. <p>4. You believe that whether I agree or not to this
arrangement, this is the way you see yourself behaving
and therefore, cannot/willnot make any promises that
such interactions will not continue to happen over the
next 15+ years of your life.<p>Now, do I have a clear picture of how you want it to
be in your life? I will save for later my
understanding of how you would like OUR relationship
to progress as you live your life in this way, if,
that is, I have correctly related what I hear you to
be saying about what you want when I am NOT around.<p>I hope you will give some thought to this and get back
to me with those thoughts as soon as possible. I don't
want to make decisions based on mis-understanding or
mis-information.<p>Sincerely,<p>"Pilot's wife"<p>The above is how I interpret the many conversations I have had with H and with those who have also talked to him about our situation. <p>Now if you guys have read this far, you must have some thoughts and reactions you would like to share. I will be most interested to hear if anyone has any solution for this situation other than divorce. I CANNOT accept these terms.<p>I only just sent this letter to him and have not gotten a response yet.<p>Thanks,<p>Pilot's wife<p>[ November 30, 2001: Message edited by: yes ]</p>
(had a secret e-mail account that I knew about, but could not always bust into) I have never regained my trust,with good reason, and have continued to SNOOP! OH, MY GOD! WHY would I want to know... The snooping has been a big issue my H has had with me.<p>Anyway...I am able to read some of the mail he gets, and some that he sends, when I can get my hands on his laptop, so periodically I check. In October I found a letter from a prostitute which simply said "When and where?" I confronted, he got mad that I snooped, said he was just curious and had written one, but did not do any thing with her, which I confirmed by calling her and having a very interesting conversation. However, this was not the first indication that he had been, at the least, investigating the world's oldest profession as a possible avenue for entertainment when away from home. There had been one other e-mail 9 months earlier and a phone number in his wallet for an escort service in Dallas. He denies, denies, denies that he was ever actually with one. Now...<p>This caused further suspicion on my part causing me to check another old e-mail account, one for which I had the password, about three weeks ago.
I found a letter from a woman saying she had enjoyed being with him the day before, was thinking of him and looking forward to being with him that afternoon. (He was in Florida) When asked what he had done that day, he left out any info about meeting or being with an "interesting lady" so I blew my cover and confronted him. He said it was all innocent, just someone to spend time with that was interesting, that I would like her, she was alot like me, bla bla bla. Well, the next day I happened to think that I had not checked the "sent messages" file, so I did and found the following three e-mails,the first two of which were to one lady and the other to a different one<p>Goood Morning Lady,
your message did not get here yet, but i'll keep checkin'!
thank you for the phonecall last night, nice to know someone is thinking of me [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]
Which is what I have been doing of you!
We may still have a few subjects to cover, politics, religion, abortion,etc. (just kidding, maybe we can find lighter subjects to cover "more der funner ones" maybe). Either way, it will be good to see you again and be with you.
see you here [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Good morning Lady,
these are nice e-mails to wake up to...not that I don't think of you at other times [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]
Yesterday was very nice, a nice quiet talk and a good, healthy and small meal. (and the other stuff was also very sensual, I also look forward to more orher stuff).
Tomorrow, suppose you still wanna meet, should we do maybe about the same formula??
I was thinkin of things to do, like: put put, a movie, the beach (maybe not enough time), downtown disney, drive around, and I'll think up s'more....if you help think too!
let me know what you think. I hear there' a city buss from here to Intl. drive, maybe I can save you some time that way....
I'll be doin' s'more thinkin' of you in the mean time.
Thanks for a great evening and write me what your thinkin'<p>
Hello Lady,
Good morning, just wanted to write you a little note, to let you know that I really enjoyed being with you yesterday....it put a smile on my face that lasted all night [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] You really are good company!
I missed you at the airport last night hope that was not because of me!
Maybe you will be there tonight?
Either way, I know how to get in touch with you if not tonight at the airport.
Give me a week and you'lle hear from me, promise!
"MY H"<p>There you have it. That's where we are now. His newly revealed idea about our marriage, and what he wants are as follows, to the best of my understanding, and I quote from a letter I wrote him.<p>Dear H.
I want to write what I understand to be your position
and hope you will clarify and/or validate my
understanding of what you seem to be telling me.<p>First, you do not want a divorce...yet...you do not
want a traditional marriage, rather one which includes
the following terms:<p>1. You want to be yourself and be able to talk to
anyone you want to, using any means, ie, phone, dates,
e-mail, icq, etc. that suits the circumstances.<p>2. If the communications you begin with a person of
the opposite sex should happen to get flirtatious, you
want the freedom to go with it, if I don't know about
it, which I shouldn't if I don't snoop.<p>3. If the flirtatiousness of the interaction should
happen to get sexual/sensual and the person is of
particular interest to you, stands out as special, so
to speak, you want the freedom to go with it, to
experience the interaction to it's fullest(meaning
sex), without fear that I would find out. <p>4. You believe that whether I agree or not to this
arrangement, this is the way you see yourself behaving
and therefore, cannot/willnot make any promises that
such interactions will not continue to happen over the
next 15+ years of your life.<p>Now, do I have a clear picture of how you want it to
be in your life? I will save for later my
understanding of how you would like OUR relationship
to progress as you live your life in this way, if,
that is, I have correctly related what I hear you to
be saying about what you want when I am NOT around.<p>I hope you will give some thought to this and get back
to me with those thoughts as soon as possible. I don't
want to make decisions based on mis-understanding or
mis-information.<p>Sincerely,<p>"Pilot's wife"<p>The above is how I interpret the many conversations I have had with H and with those who have also talked to him about our situation. <p>Now if you guys have read this far, you must have some thoughts and reactions you would like to share. I will be most interested to hear if anyone has any solution for this situation other than divorce. I CANNOT accept these terms.<p>I only just sent this letter to him and have not gotten a response yet.<p>Thanks,<p>Pilot's wife<p>[ November 30, 2001: Message edited by: yes ]</p>