Old Timers showing up .... What Gives? - Marriage Builders® Forums

Is it the Holidays that can cause discontent and stress in a marriage? I ask because in the last month ~5 Old Timers have appeared here:

Pilot's Wife
Vee
Just the Wife
Quaker Mom
Victoria Farrar

Anyone have any idea why?Jo[ December 14, 2001: Message edited by: Resilient ]

<blockquote>quote:<hr>Originally posted by Resilient:
Is it the Holidays that can cause discontent and stress in a marriage<hr></blockquote>Jo, that would be my guess, too.L

Jo, <blockquote>quote:<hr>Is it the Holidays that can cause discontent and stress in a marriage?<hr></blockquote>Duh! This is a really, really tough time of the year to get an appointment with Steve or Jenn, because they're so busy. And divorce lawyers see their business pick up in early January without fail too!Merry Christmas!!! I think the sad thing in this age is that the real messages of Christmas are lost in all the rush and preparation for setting up a perfect 45 minutes (or however long the event is...). And if to underscore this, I got my December MB newsletter emailed to me while writing you this note---and the good doctor notes the same issues.God bless, Jo. As for me, I'm thankful this Christmas for getting through back surgery (this past Monday), and having my family together. The greatest gift I could receive would be the patience and skill to give my wife the love she needs while she's dealing with her medical and emotional issues.A sliding compound miter saw would be nice, too... [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

I don't think that for me it is in conjunction with the holidays. This has been the least stressful holiday season that I can remember in a long time. I am looking forward to it and having the family here. I am totally at peace and very happy with the other aspects of my life. I have started a new job that suits me well, I have re-taken up singing in the church choir and am enjoying it more than I can say. I have good friends and have recently made another at work who is going to go try out archery with me. I am actively pursuing my artistic endeavors and have turned out a variety of sweaters, baby blankets, x-stitch etc. I am eating right, exercising and feeling great!For me I think it may have to do with another year drawing to a close with little or no discernable progress being made in our relationship and not wanting to spend another year in this manner. With all other things looking so positive it is hard to still be having problems in the relationship field.

Victoria,I would like to suggest that because you learned so much from MB your expecations of Marriage have changed ... for the better I might add. Now you want/NEED more from it, you can no longer just "settle".I read your other post and agree with some that you should explore going to Plan B.I'm sorry you find yourself here again. I hope your Holidays are Joyous regardless.Love,
Jo

Hey Jo,I still post [being an Old Timer] and everything couldn't be better with me and G.We are heading out to her parents home this coming Friday for a few days to celebrate Christmas. Thanksgiving was the best is has been for me in years. I had a blast with her fam. Finally, I can be Zippy the Pinhead.

<blockquote>quote:<hr>Originally posted by K:
A sliding compound miter saw would be nice, too... [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <hr></blockquote>Santa wants to know if you've been naughty or nice ... Jo (aka Santa's Helper) [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img][ December 15, 2001: Message edited by: Resilient ]

I think I just wanted to let folks know what was going on. Everyone was so helpful, my situation was SO unusual, I just figured I'd give a quick update. I think that I will still be around once in a while. The things that I have learned here will certainly help with any new relationship I have, and I will use these tools to hopefully prevent any monkey business in my next relationship. Speaking of which.... anybody have a brother in Wisconsin?
Elizabeth

[img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] tis me ya forgot [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] .although...i lurk more than i post anymore... so when i post..people think along the same lines as you did about "ol' timers' [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] well.....i found my self back here because my spouse has decided to finaly come here after 22 months and i had to help him figure out how to post. although this time of yr for me is a recap of my most idiot decision making of all time..soooo yeah that may be an issue??back to the spouse finally posting..it tells me we are FAR from healing. although there has been a tremendoius healing in ourselves if not in our marriage. Yes tehre are STILL issues..more so from my H than from Me. i feel that i am pretty well on my way to healing..but on the other hand ihave a spouse who is still VERY hurt and VERY insecure. For the first time in two yrs i was able to go with my cousin....with happy permission, no guilt trips..to go christmas shopping...all i can say is HURRAY!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] , it is progress. slow but sure. Are we able to use MB principals..i have Plan A'ed him ( and IM the WS) because he just wasnt able to do so. and as a result become a more sensitive person to issues around me. Do we get 15 hours or more a week together? NO. We still do not have the support from those around us. Between 5 kids and him working 12 or more hours a day to keep us a float (im not working due to injury). Although the one thing is...he and I were finally able to agree that we DO need counseling because without it..we are going to fail. not because we want to but because curcumstance says it wont work. So there has been good and a whole lot of bad..at least now there are more days of good than bad.I wondered about some of the old timers...i thot most had healed and moved on..i see some in D/D [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] forum and in Recovery.....PRAISE GOD! I wish you all well.Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!MERcy[ December 16, 2001: Message edited by: mercy ]

I'm an old timer too that still lurks. I go in spurts though. Mostly I peek in because I have suggested this site to a few friends who are having issues in their marriages and I think this site may be able to help. As for me, the Holiday's are not stressful. We are all set for the family on Christmas and will be spending our first Christmas in our new home.

I'm an old timer as well. I don't post a lot, but I lurk. This forum was a lifeline for me during the turmoil we experienced in our marriage. It's hard to let completely go of lifelines. My marriage is strong, but the stresses of everyday life take its toll every now and then. Christmas Blessings to all!!

Resilient,I am a real old timer as well. Real old. I believe it is often the Holidays - time with family, and looking ahead to the new year that causes us all to pause and take a look at our lives. We look at where we have been, what we have learned, and we look forward to see where we hope to be in the future.I stop back to read here from time to time. Why? I guess because I met people here who cared - when I was hurting, looking for answers and help -people who reached out, who touched my heart deeply, and because they did they will remain there always.That's why I stop in.rjr #2

Yeah, well... we all know I'm an old timer who NEVER left -- oh, I *said* I would, but couldn't somehow keep away.I think it's everything that's been mentioned, from it being the emotional holidays, to taking stock as the New Year approaches, to simply just caring enough to stop by on occasion.

For all:If you like music...This is a beautiful song. This link will get you to a 'clip' of it. "The Color of Roses" by Beth Nielsen Chapman.just wanted to share it. Hope you all have a beautiful Christmas!http://www.bethnielsenchapman.net/songs/thecolorofroses.html

oops. It's been awhile. Double post sorry.[ December 21, 2001: Message edited by: rjr #2 ]

apparently I am completely out of practice. My apologies.thanks[ December 21, 2001: Message edited by: rjr #2 ]

Another old-timer here...going back almost 3 years. I lurk a lot...weekly. Can't seem to help from coming back. This place was a life-line for me. MB Principles has taught me a lot about maintaining my marriage and how to survive the devastation of an affair. My H & I have come along way.

Resilient, What would constitute an old timer?

Very nice to see all these "faces!" [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all!