I left home, just can't take it any more - 12/19/01 10:47 PM
Hi all, <p>I think my love bank is close to bankruptcy, I just couldn't take it more and left tonight. I couldn't possibly stay and wait for H and D to come back from MIL's, H's very presence would make me scream. I'm dead tired, all ripped inside, barely function. No, I don't need anti-deps, I need peace, my inner peace. <p>So, what happened? Contact continues, and it's not only at work, which I can't prevent (they work together), but also whenever I turn my back - if I'm on business trip, giving courses, or whatever may involve longer hours for me - he is with her. Even with understanding for her ilness (ovarian cancer, stage 3), I just can't put up with that. I discover lies everywhere, not even well hidden. If I push it, he creates diversion- blames me, yells, angrily refuses to talk, discuss... nothing. It's OK if I keep it quiet. <p>The worst part is that literally ALL his family supports him/them. OW is practically part of the family, they communicate with her, and I'm NOT ALLOWED to come to MIL's place - H said MIL is so angry at me for expelling OW form FIL's funeral 10 weeks ago, that she won't let me into house, nor speak with me except for what she needs related to D! Great! I think that needs no comment. <p>BTW, I didn't expell her, just whispered to her ear "Thanks for coming,you didn't need to, but now you can just stay... ". That was when she came to give condolences to us. D didn't want to shake hands with her, so later, next day, H was furious and yelled at both of us, literarly screaming that we're ugly [censored], for not wanting to have any business with her at the funeral. Of course, she spead the word, complained everywhere she could, so my MIl has excellent excuse for not wanting to see me any more (BTW, she was always looking for one, ver since I came to the family).<p>H is typical conflict avoider, so, that's ok with him. If I try to discuss, and say I'm offended, hurt, and expect him to protect me and his family, since he decided 10 months ago to come back to me and D, he avoids, or again create quarrel. <p>So, tonight, D told me that BIL is at MIL's and she would like to see him, either going alone or with us, I said OK. But, while I was in nearby shop,just buying handkerchiefs and shampoo that we ran out of supply, THEY LEFT for MIL's! That is fourth time that he took D and left for MIL's never asking me should I maybe go with them. Simply, he leaves me at home, like I'm contagious! And it's perfectly OK with him! I asked him once ok, what if we stand in front of her door and she says you can come in, and you W stays out? H said, I guess I would then stay out too. But takes extreme care never to find himself in such a situation. <p>Sorry, I can't take it more. What a twisted mind MIL must be when she wants me out because I allegidly offended H's OW/whore????<p>I just can't take it any more, I can't.....<p>Please, be there for me...<p>
Adrian<p>
******************<p>38, Female BS
Married 14 (anniv. Dec 26!), together 18
1 daughter, 13
D-day 4/00 (EA), PA probably 5/00
H attempted suicide 7/00, 1 month psych. hospital
H moved out 8/00
H came back 2/01
allegidly wants to work on marriage, but does nothing
***********
Adrian<p>
******************<p>38, Female BS
Married 14 (anniv. Dec 26!), together 18
1 daughter, 13
D-day 4/00 (EA), PA probably 5/00
H attempted suicide 7/00, 1 month psych. hospital
H moved out 8/00
H came back 2/01
allegidly wants to work on marriage, but does nothing
***********