Hi All,

I'm done analyzing my last "R" and I wanted to start thinking about my future. One question that I would like to explore with all of you is:

At what point did you know that you wanted to committ to your partner?

What was it in the "R" that was so great that you just knew that this person was the one?

How many "R"'s did you go through before finding that special person? What was different about him/her?

Thanks in adavance.....

<small>[ February 06, 2003, 09:26 AM: Message edited by: kily ]</small>

Kily,
Someone once told me when you choose your mate "Choose someone that you cannot live without, not someone that you can live with". Personally I thing there must be a long courtship to make it past the infatuation phase, but then again that didn't work for me so who am I to give adivse??

I heard something similar and it has stuck with me for years - "Don't marry the person you think you can live with, marry the one you think you can't live without." I've passed this advice along many times to people considering marriage when they were already having serious problems in the relationship.

Almost

I look at new relationships a little differently.

I'm pretty happy. I've got a peaceful life that I'm content with. I have some interests and hobbies that I enjoy. I enjoy being with my kids when I'm able to do that. It's not much, but it's my life and I like it. I have the usual issues just like everybody else - never enough money to go around, etc. But things are good.

So when I consider adding an intimate relationshiop to that mix, I look at what someone can contribute to my already happy life. If having them around me adds to my happiness, then they're a potential keeper. If they're a hassle, or if they routinely cause pain and difficulty, then they're off the list.

Now believe me, I know that relationships take a lot of effort. I tried - hard - for 20 years. All I ask is that there be a payoff in some way. It has to be worth it, or I'm not interested.

Good luck, Kily. Life is good.