Hi,

How's it going? I haven't been here in months, but I thought I'd check in for any of those old timers still lurking around.

Well, my situation has not changed one bit. Absolutely no progress on the D in a long time, probably 6 months. As you may recall, back in June I suggested to my stbx that we try to settle this. We both talked to our lawyers, yet nothing is happening. My lawyer has made repeated attempts to schedule a settlement conference, to no avail. I have still not received all the financial doc's from my W and/or her lawyer. I've provided then with everything they asked for. They made a ridiculous "counter offer" a 2 months ago they day before we were supposed to go to court. I rejected it and they asked for a continuance.

My lawyer is frustrated. I'm frustrated too, but I've decided not to have my lawyer press the issue anymore. Every fax, every phone call just costs me money. The balls in their court and they can make the next move. We have a court date scheduled for mid January and if nothing happens by then, it's "see you in court".

I want this over, but I'm done wasting money. This whole situation is ridiculous. Custody was settled a year ago, the house was sold 10 months ago. The remaining issues are retirement assets and CS. The retirement assets should be simple, add up what we have and split it in half. My W wants to keep what she has and I keep what I have. Hers is much more, but I'm sure you could have guessed that. CS we don't agree on, but we can't even all get together to try to negotiate.

Other than that, all is well. I'm looking forward to the holidays. Have a great turkey day!!!!

sad dad

sad dad,

I am sorry that you are not making progress in the divorce. I know that it was not want you wanted but this limbo thing isn't worth it either. And you are right having the lawyers deal with it just cost you money everytime, I really hate that part of this. I e mailed my lawyer with something that I had sent to xH and it cost me $50 for him to open the email and read it, didn't even ask him to do anything about it, just wanted him to be aware!!!! UGH!!!!


Hope other area of your life are going better and that you and your daughter have a nice Turkey day, hard to believe that is this week!!!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hey SD!! I caught your post when I was at work the other day and thought I responded! Sheesh!

I'm glad you're doing well! I'm SHOCKED that the divorce hasn't gone through yet! My gosh, it's like they're trying to ease her out of it too! She needs that rug pulled out from under her!

It is truly too bad that she has still decided to hide her head in the sand. But I do hope that things move to completion for you soon so you can start the new year out a new way!

Take care and have a good holiday season!!

Hello SD,

I think being in limbo is one of the hardest parts of A's and D's. You never have peace. I'm sorry. How much time do you get to spend with your daughter?

My S's D was final in March. xDIL will marry OM #2 in January. The good part is that S spends 6 days with GS twice a month. With huge CS payments S has basically no life other than loving his S -- which is not so bad when you get down to it.

I am sad that good men like you have their lives turned upside down by women they misjudged. I rarely check in anymore, but when I do I will look for hopeful updates from you.

Take care,
Estes

Dawn,

Yeah, the cost of lawyers is ridiculous. Today I got a copy of some info I sent to my lawyer last week to forward to opposing counsel. I'll get billed for having her send me a copy of what I sent her. You figure it out. Going on $11k so far.

H4F,

I wish I knew how to pull the rug out from under her. When I finally reached the point where I just wanted to get this over, my lawyer and I pushed to get this settled. That seemed to only slow things down even more from their side. Maybe they know their best chance at "winning" anything at this point is to try to frustrate me into giving in. That won't happen.

Estes,

Sorry to hear your son is suffering financially. It's bad enough to be raped emotionally, but to be raped financially also...it's just not right.
Fortunately, things should work our quite well for me financially as long as I let this all play out. Her retirement package is worth much more than mine and I don't think she ever saw that coming, but hey, this is what she wanted.

BTW, we have shared custody so I have my daughter half the time. In spite of that, she still wants 20% in CS, even though our incomes are very close. This is the battle I'm fighting. I'm long past her EA, but the way she's handled the D has gotten me to point where seeing or talking to her turns my stomach. It's sad that it had to come to that.

Hope you all have a great Thanksgiving and holiday season.

sad dad

Could this be progress? My lawyer's office called today to ask if I'd be available for a settlement conference in two weeks. I said sure. Finally, six months after I first suggested it. Now I have to keep my fingers crossed that we all go there with an open mind and a desire to get this resolved fairly, however I intend to follow my lawyer's advice and stand my ground. Wish me luck!

sad dad

Hang in there Sad Dad,

Make sure you get what is rightfully yours and you get everything agree upon in writing. Otherwise you will be messed over big time.

I am glad you are ready to move on and enjoy your life. I think you will find that you will do the better, as you have learned alot and your W has learned nothing.

God Bless,

JL

JL,

"Make sure you get what is rightfully yours and you get everything agree upon in writing. Otherwise you will be messed over big time."

Sound advice. I know what I'm entitled to, I know what I believe is fair and my lawyer and I are in agreement. I've stuck to my guns on that so far and I don't see that changing.

"...you have learned alot and your W has learned nothing."

This is true, yet it makes me sad. If I knew that my W was happy or that her life was better than it was, I could somehow see the method in the madness. But she's gained nothing, learned nothing and appears to have taken several steps back from where she was 3 yrs ago. Sadly, that's not my problem anymore.

Take care,
sad dad