Well...

Just got an email from OWsXH. We have been in contact off and on...

Apparently their divorce was final in September and OW got married three weeks later.... yep... three weeks. btw... in case you don't know my story... this makes marriage #5. yep. FIVE

and, to clarify the timeline...

OW and H begin sometime during Dec 2000-Jan 2001... I've never firmed up the actual 'beginning.'

Things hit their peak March/April 2001 and d-day occurred April 25, 2001.

Contact continued w/ H on the fence April-June and he moved out in July 2001.

He returned home August 2001 with the idea of being co-parents only.

Contact continued through August 2002... then we moved to a new home in October and she and her husband separated and filed for divorce... I really believe that contact was over by then... because he finally was able to say that he WOULD tell me of any contact... even incidental... and because he had begun to walk the talk of a strong Christian man and husband....

So one more year passes... their divorce becomes final... and BAMM she has met, fallen in love, and come to know someone long enough to make him husband #5.

....so what does this do to my fear? the fear that they would make good on their promises to each other to "wait forever... if they had to?" My fear that she would make good on her statement that "she didn't have an expiration date; her love was forever."

I'm not sure... I'm relieved that once again she has proven me right about her character...

but, I guess, in the end, her being married didn't mean much the other times around... so I just have to lean on Him and the fact that my H is walking the walk of a Christian man...

Happy Holidays ALL...

Cali

<small>[ December 21, 2003, 05:49 PM: Message edited by: Cali ]</small>

UnBElievable!!! Or maybe not after seeing similar myself, Cali. But FIVE marriages??!!

I can tell you from seeing your entire story unfold from early on that Princess is not a happy person, and is looking for someone to make her happy, which we know, will never pan out.

She has ZERO character, and has no conscience or empathy for her fellow human beings. How can she when she causes so many so much grief. Disrespectful judgement? I guess. Just my spin on her.

And just to add, I think she may be one of those creatures that needs to feel those "in-love" high feelings constantly, without it she's numb and not living.

I'm so happy for you and family. Many hugs.

Happy Holidays ....

Lv,
Jo

That is the best christmas story I ever read here in MB <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> .

-rh-

Cali,

Be thankful to the Lord that your H is walking and talking the Christian walk.

It is what we all pray for.

Don't worry about ow. It was all nonsense since ow has found and married #5.

It is over. I know. It is hard for you. The ow in my case has been married 2 years this month.

Thank God. My H is just now reading the Bible and getting with the Lord.

There is a God and He is blessing you, and me too.

((((hugs! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> ))))

Love in Christ,
Miss M

X's OW married and divorced three times before marrying him last July. Thought he had the most uncommitted OW around here, but your H's takes the cake.

I wonder if the failure rate increases with each marriage, or do they start again at 50% chance?

Love and light,

Jacky

Thanks for the update Cali. I always love reading what you have to say. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Your tone in this post is one of being afraid to put your guard down, knowing OW's capabilities of manipulation and morals regarding M. I don't blame you there. But there's only so much you can do, and it would be terrible to continue giving her so much power.

My Christmas wish for you, my dear friend Cali, is to enjoy this Christmas to its fullest, with the confidence that your family is solid and happy, thanks to yours and (eventually <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ) your H's efforts. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Karen

Wow... so nice to read from old friends...

Ya'll are what I miss about being MB...

Resilient... her XH has no illusions about her character... I think my best efforts will be to pray for her to know her Savior... then I think I would feel 'safe.' I also wonder if she still uses the nickname "princess..." <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

redhat... bless all that you do for the newbies here.

Miss M... I feel so blessed... and I will pray that your H continues on his path...

Nina too... uncommitted... well they go into it with the idea that if it doesn't work out... there's always divorce... I think it is what Resilient says... she's hooked on those 'in-love' feelings.... plus, infidelity is a fun game to be played.

Topie... There is a little fear that she and my H would 'find' each other again... but I am mostly afraid for her new 'victims.' The new H... does he really know her 'story?' When she gets bored again, the new man whose life she will implode into... I guess my best hope is that he is unmarried. LOL.

Good to hear from all of you. I told H of the email and he smiled and shook his head when I said that OW had married. I asked if it bothered him. What bothers him is what I have said... has she really dug into herself and dealt with her issues as to relationships... marriage... sex... etc.

Cali

Cali

People that marry and divorce again and again are never fulfilled. Their problems originate in early childhood. A strong attachment to their mother never occurred and they seek love and security and trust in other people. They go into a new marriage hopeful that they will find real love but their basic beliefs break through at some point in the marriage and they experience the feelings of being unloved, once again. How do you fix being unloved? You get a new spouse! And so it goes, over and over.

Beau

Wow, Cali - once again, Karma seems real. Too bad her new H is a sitting duck. I wonder if he knows he's #5? Poor guy, he is simply her next "useful idiot."

Hopefully, the victimization of your family from her is truly over and you now have your challenge under one roof - making your marriage as strong as it can possibly be.

As Karen said, the "tone in this post is one of being afraid to put your guard down, knowing OW's capabilities of manipulation and morals regarding M."

I suggest you look at it from the other direction - her "word" to your H that "she didn't have an expiration date; her love was forever" is as equally insincere and without substance as her other marriages. I don't think she's a threat to you two anymore!

I hope your H now can look back with even further clarity that you will always be the most important woman in the world.

<small>[ December 22, 2003, 08:35 AM: Message edited by: worthatry ]</small>

Just scrolling the GQ board for some familiar names and voila!

Well, it's good news to hear that your H is walking the walk! Good for you & the boys... Wow, what a journey, huh?

As for xOW, it's amazing that she could just keep mowing through relationships like that, without a break in between... Amazing!? What is she thinking??? (NOT!)

Oh well, sounds like a merry Christmas is in store for you guys! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Cali,

Glad to see you here!!!

I'm happy for you and your family that you get to be one of the success stories here.

Merry Christmas to all!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

WAT! my favorite jokester... nice to be reading posts from you again... Funny... what you write about her is EXACTLY what her XH writes about her...

H and I had a BIG talk this morning... I was able to express some things I'd not been able to before... just how HARD the whole thing was... just how HURT I was and how each and everyday I have to PRAY my way out of it... I don't want him to grovel... really... I don't want to beat him up... BUT I WANT TO BE PAMPERED... I want the WORLD to know and have NO DOUBT that he loves me.... I still HATE this affair crap... somedays it is too hard...

BTDT! I'm so glad I posted... good to "see" old friends @ the holidays.... My desire is for him to be TRULY the HEAD of our household... not an easy thing for a control-freak like me...

daybreak! Hope your HOLIDAYS are bright... peaceful... and filled with love and family!

anymore old friends out there?

Cali

Hi you oldtimers,

Merry xmas to you!


Nick.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">anymore old friends out there?</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yes ma'am!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

It was good to see your post and your continued sucess!! It's also really good to see some of the old timers popping in.

Merry Christmas to you and yours Cali.

Love,
K and [H]

Cali....

If you're ever up our way .... gimme a call.

*Merry Christmas*

Love,

Pep

Merry Christmas Cali,

May you find more joy & peace this coming year.

Nick123, Knewjie, Pepperband and Sing! Happy Holidays and Merry New Year!

Pep... maybe we can organize a SoCal lunch somewhere in the middle in the next couple of months...

Who else is lurking?


Hugs,
Cali

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Cali:
<strong>Pep... maybe we can organize a SoCal lunch somewhere in the middle in the next couple of months...</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hmmmm, what SoCal season will that be? Fire, earthquake, drought, or riot? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

WAT

Hi, Cali. Good to hear from you that all is well. I hope you had a Merry Christmas and things continue to be right with your world.

Just on srolling looking for familiar names. Can't believe about that OW! 5! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Read your other post reply about convo with H. Glad things are going ok for you. THought about you from time to time! Keep hangin' on like we all are doing! Happy holidays!