NoTrust:<P>I know that when I was involved with another man, I had VERY STRONG feelings for him. The feelings were so strong that it was almost an obsession. Well, okay...it WAS an obsession AND a fantasy. The emotional AND physical aspects of the affair were very powerful. I'm not saying these things to hurt you. I'm just trying to be truthful. <P>So, to answer your question...<P>No, I do not think that it is possible for a wayward spouse to be involved with someone else without having feelings for that person (even though those feelings are based in "fantasy land").<P>I think that the fantasy aspect of an affair is why it's so important to have the "no contact" rule. When a wayward spouse STOPS having contact with the other person, it gives reality a chance to sink-in. It gives the wayward spouse time to begin to think more clearly. And, when reality sets-in, it hurts! Within one week of "no contact" with the other man, I realized the magnitude of what I had done to myself, God and to my husband. I realized what an idiot I was. I realized that the other person was not someone that I would have even taken a second glance at if the situation were different. I realized that I had been living in a fantasy land and that the other man wasn't a prince -- he was a BIG FROG.
<P>Anyway, I hope I didn't confuse you. I hope this helped in some small way.<P>Jill