I just realized that my W is her OM's W's OW! Somehow that struck me as interesting! It's all in your perspective.<P>Since mailing the OM's W an anonymous letter exposing her H's affair with my W (but without giving her my W's name), I've been thinking about the OM's W, imagining what my W and her H's affair must look like from HER perspective. Also imagining what it looks like from my W's perspective, and from the OM's perspective.<P>I STRONGLY suspect that my W has MUCH stronger feelings for the OM than he has for her. Because if this weren't the case, I think he'd have spirited her away long ago. (He's got kids, so family probably is a factor too, though it isn't with my W.)<P>And when I think this, I actually feel bad for my W. Because she's willing to give up her marriage for this guy and he's not willing to give his up for her. I just KNOW that she's going to get badly hurt in that relationship, and it hurts me to imagine her going through what I'm going through now.<P>Regards and blessings,<P>--Wex

Wex,<P>That is an interesting perspective! My husband is the other man. Of course he and his other woman are living together. THe other woman's husband is devastated. It is awful! At least he has stopped calling me. He would only make me more upset! <P>Woozy

Hi Wex,<P>my head hurts.....<P>I'm tired of thinking about him, about ow#2, where he's going, where he's not..<P>All I know is that he should be at home with his family. And then I question myself about whether I even want him back. I love the old H I had, not this new monster. Can he ever go back to being the old H that I knew. I don't think so. I know we will both have learnt so much, and that the future could be so wonderful with what we have been through, and being the new people we will become, but sometimes, I just don't have faith in him.<P>I don't think he will learn anything by this. He isn't willing to confront anything at the moment, and it has now been 10 months. He doesn't know what he wants.<BR>Will you tell me what you think of this??<P>A friend had a baby this week, he left a message on my machine letting me know. I sent flowers, from me and the girls. He rang again in the afternoon, left another message saying he had also sent flowers. From all of us. Playing happy families. From H, Jo, d#1 and d#2. Why would he do that. We are NOT a family. He has told me so, time and again.<P>I'm sorry to jump in here, but what you say means a lot.<P>As for your W giving up everything, for someone who may not do the same. Isn't it amazing how WE can feel for them.? When there is nothing from them about how we are feeling. Blows my mind. Why do we do this to ourselves.??<BR>Boy, am I in a funk today. I'm going to take the children to a beautiful park, and smell the roses. Look at their beautiful little faces, and realise how lucky I am.<P>I'm thinking of you, and sending a hug to you. Thanks for being my friend<P>Jo