Anyone want to help me pack?? UPDATE - 04/09/00 03:26 AM
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Saw H today!!! Few problems getting to gether but we did. He told me the house had been taken off the market. We talked for few minutes. He hugged me, and then told me he told me he was afraid of starting over. We didn't have time to talk because SIL niece and son was there and we were all hungry. So we all went to eat. After we eat I tool them to the mall and left them there H and I went to our empty house to talk. It was a very good talk. It took a few minutes before we started talking and he started. It seemed that he was worried about finding another job I interrupted him and said I was afraid that he would worry about that. I told him that even though I was hoping he wwould want to come back it was still a shock when he asked and I said a lot of things that I really didn't have time to think through. I told him that I didn't feel that changing jobs was all the important compared to us getting back together. I thought it was important for us to be on the same schedule because we needed to be together. He agreed to that. He also told me he was good at expressing his feelings I told him that was why I wanted us to go to marriage counseling to help us learn to do that. He agreed. <P>We talked aobout his his ups and downs in emotions. I told that I was going through that also. That when we talked I was fine but when he didn't call I could sleep and I cried and was very depressed. That was what he was going through all the fears. I also told him that other thing that was very important was that It was either all me or it wasn't me at all. He said he only wanted me. That he only loved me. I told that I thought then I changed it to I know that we can make it He said I know we can make it too. I told him then we don't need to wait that the waiting was what was making us crazy. He agreed. We talked alot about his guilt feelings. He said he had screwed so bad and screwed up so many people lives. He said he had screwed my up and the ow's I said hold it right there. She knew you were married. She went after you and you never would have done anything like this had she not done that. She knew what she was doing. She had done this before. She screwed up her own life. You screwed up your own life. I told him that he was responsible for no one but him self. She was responsible for life and I was responsible for mine. Each one was responsible for our ouwn happiness no one else. And if the only way he could be happy was for us to be together then we should do it and if he felt he could be happy with her then he should stay with her. He said he wanted to be with me. I told him then we need to get started. He is coming next weekend to get the other car. I told him that I would start packing when he wanted me to and he said start packing <P>We had a great talk. I feel more confident. I know he is worried about his leaving how to do it. I told him she would have to be very stupid not to know what was going on. That I knew he was close to leaving me this summer. He feels very guilty about that.<P> He is going to try to call me every night this week so we can make plans!!!!!!!!! I think the closer we keep contact the less downs we both will have!!!!!!<P>I know I am suppose to take it slow and I do worry. But I think he will have more up and downs if we drag this out. He will not doubt his love but his guilt will get the best of him. He also said when he is on his medication he knows he wants to be with me. When he is off of it he is confused. I told him I would send the money to keep him on it LOL. <P>I also told him how talented I was in drive a rental truck! He told me I was so funny.<P>I also told him about this place. I don't know if he will get on but I told him that alot of what he was going through was common for our situation. I told him to come here to read for support that he didn't have to respond but it will help him him understand what he is going through. I also told him that If I hadn't found this place I would be crazier then I am and that this place was the only reason that I have made it this far.<P>I didn't want to leave but I hope very soon we will be together again. <P>Thanks every one for your prayers. <P><P>------------------<BR>di<P>
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What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by A blessed Samantha (edited April 08, 2000).]