Need to vent again....Sorry!!! - 07/09/00 01:18 PM
This next Wednesday it will be 3 weeks since my last counseling session. I miss the weekly sessions...my Dr. makes me feel good about myself without my really knowing it which is why he makes $85 a session. He is very good for me and has helped me change me for the better.<P>Friday I was very down because some of the email and chat that I was monitoring. I was called an ex by W. It really got me down all day. After work I was sitting on the couch feeling bad and trying to divert that with a little baseball when she walks in. We are separated and I usually know when we will meet and when she will come by, but this caught me off guard. I was not prepared. She came in and saw me down and asked if I was having Dr.____ withdrawals....she has always made fun of him and she quit going some time ago. I just gave her a look of non-appreciation of her humor and snapped some remark off quickly without thinking. It was a minor lb but more important I missed a chance to plan A. I don't get that many. I wrote an apologetic email and I thought that would be that. Here is the email and reply.<P>______________________________________________________________________________<P>I am sorry for snapping at you last night. I was having one of those not so good days and was feeling down at the time. I did not see the humor of your remark about Dr. ______. I was just being to sensitive to the issues at the time and I apologize. <P>Thanks for coming over to see Kole(one of our dogs) I have to take him back this morning for a dressing change.<P>I Love You!<P>Love Always!!<P>J<P>Jim,<P>That's okay...everyone has crappy days. Sorry I said the wrong thing at the<BR>wrong time! I'm good at that sometimes. Hope you are feeling better now anyway.<P><BR>I have been meaning to tell you, but the time has not seemed right, that Fred<BR>is coming to visit me towards the end of the month. He has business down this<BR>way so is going to stop and stay with me for several days. I have told Kallie,as I do not want her to feel uncomfortable if she would come over and find some man sitting in the living room. I have just told her that he is one of my friends from England over here for a visit. She thought that was fine.<P>I do not want to embarrass or hurt you Jim and I will not "parade" all over<BR>town with him, But, someone might see us together and make a comment so I wanted you to know about it. I am sorry if this makes you feel bad, but I did tell you several months ago that he probably would eventually come.<P>I'll see you later.<P>Cathy<P>P.S. Had to take the car in. Alternator died again and it may also need a<BR>battery. Won't know until late today.<BR>______________________________________________________________________________<P>I wrote an apology email to try to minimize the lb and she uses it to kick me again to tell me that OM is coming from England. I already new this without her knowledge and she is lie about when he is coming....he will be here next week (13th) not "towards the end of the month". I don't like him here obviously, but he has been here twice before. She does not think I know this and I want her to continue to think that since he hides him while he has been here in the past while she still does things with D and me.<P>What really bothers me about this is she is going to introduce him to D (email monitoring). D is 17 and pregnant and just broke up with the father and started college 4 weeks ago...she has enough on her plate. She does not know about the A and we both wanted to keep it that way. If she spends a little time with the two of them (even though she has told him to say and do nothing that would tip her off to the A...email monitoring) their body language will give it away and I believe she will find out at one of the worse times. I want to protect her from that.<P>So I have to have a talk to try to convince her not to introduce D to the love of her life...yuk! I am really down, and on top of this it is my B'day today and so now I have a double dose of feeling down and sorry for myself while W and D and I go to Church together. I have to snap out of it or I will LB with both of them.<P><BR>Sorry, just a little venting here.<P>Love and Prayers to All!!<P>J W