Idea for a new forum - Marriage Builders® Forums

A number of betrayers post on MBF, or have posted here. Almost all of them seem to recognize how destructive their betrayal is to their marriage and want to do something about it. Many of them acknowledge the addictive quality of an affair, and some are uncertain how to deal with this. (I know for a fact that affairs are a major addiction for my own wife, there's no other word for it.)Based on other groups for dealing with substance addictions such as Synanon, Alanon or Alcoholics Anonymous, what I'm suggesting is to set up a forum on MBF just for betrayers, a kind of online Adulterers Anonymous, I guess. (I think it should be a forum not a chat room because chats seem hard to schedule and forums allow for a more thoughtful discussion of problems.)Is anyone in contact with Dr. H who can ask him if we can do this? In the meantime, I'd suggest that Betrayers maybe "take over" one of the less popular forums. I know that PlanA/PlanB has hardly any threads and would actually be appropriate for betrayers as is.Regards and blessings,--Wex

Somehow, and I am not trying to be rude, but that would be like telling all of us that we aren't welcome here. I know that when I started coming to this Forum I was still seeing OM. I knew that I wanted an end to the mistakes and problems I created. I also know, that being here at this forum, helped me to stop the relationship. The betrayers come here because they know they need help. I know that I don't want to go to another forum of betrayers who do not want to improve their marriages or people who do not feel badly about what they did. That would be totally destructive to me. Coming here, keeps me from going completely insane, helps me learn from others experiences and allows me to speak freely of my choices and thoughts. I also think that we can add insight to those here who have been betrayed. Seriously, I don't think there is a single betrayer here who isn't here to improve their life and who doesn't feel badly about the mistakes they made. So, my vote is not to banish us to another site or another forum. If one doesn't like what we have to say, or doesn't agree, they are free to comment or not comment.

Wex, I think that would be like segregation in a way ... and I'm not sure it would be helpful to any of us. I find it very very helpful to read posts from people who have been involved in affairs - it makes the entire thing more "survivable" for me. I have mixed feelings sometimes, but betrayers need to understand what happens on the betrayed's side and betrayed's need to understand what happens on theirs. I think it would be counterproductive to separate betrayers from "the rest of MB society" and could conceivably result in that particular forum breaking down into a "TOW" style forum...Just my thoughts.------------------ terri I believe in miracles...

Wexwill I don't think you meant any offense, but I was a betrayer, I'm not anymore. I've learned alot on this forum from everyone's post and replies (including yours), however, it has been the betrayed who has really taught me alot. So I think that this is the spot for me. ------------------ "If you can learn from the mistakes of others, you won't have to make them youself."lady_divine77@yahoo.com

Sorry, everyone. I really DIDN'T mean any offense to betrayers. And especially didn't mean to suggest that you be segregated in any way. That is, I wasn't suggesting that that's the ONLY place you should post. Just that it might be helpful for people in this situation to trade ideas and experiences with one another. Regards and blessings,--Wex