BrokenButNotCrushed/ HisNeedsHer/Needs Question - 03/11/00 02:23 PM
I read your post with great interest. Wow. I wish you a continued recovery. It takes time. Now a year into recovery, I celebrate feeling so normal again. <P>My question is if you and your wife were so educated on marriage skills, what was the reason for the affair?<P>For whatever reason did you stop meeting each other's needs? <P>Was it a time of weakened faith? Was she influenced by others? Do you think you were targeted by the Devil?<P>Or have you identified another reason?<P>My own experience pales to yours, but my unresolved question is how this happened in my life. Although we can always improve (and we both have), basically we had a good marriage. It was kind of a lightening bolt from nowhere. The closest description I found was an accidental affair described in Private Lies.<P>My H is now horrified and I truly believe mystified by his past actions. I don't believe he knows and although he threw out the standard justifications initially, he now maintains I or our marriage had nothing to do with his affair.<P>On this site we read so much about meeting needs and if we do not...blamo...an affair. Although I have no trouble trying to meet needs and actually love meeting my needs, I have always felt uncomfortable about this as a blanket explaination of affairs.<P>Just wanted to get your opinion.<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13