Am I obsessed? - 03/21/00 05:00 PM
<BR>I'm hoping someone can tell me if <BR>I'm crazy and obsessed.The OM <BR>just broke it off with me which <BR>was for the best and I know this.<P>But I can't stop thinking about <BR>him.Am I going through what is <BR>called "withdrawal?"I am so <BR>confused I"ve never cheated on <BR>anyone before and I really didn't <BR>think I'd do it married.<P>I can't stop thinking about what <BR>OM thinks about me.I feel so <BR>rejected.I feel he sees me as a <BR>bad person.Whats even worse is <BR>that he's the one that really <BR>persued me and I feel so stupid <BR>because I fell for it.<P>Shame on me for spending so many <BR>hours thinking of him and how he <BR>was just so perfect.When all <BR>along he probably wasn't taking <BR>it as serious as I was.It was the <BR>most humiliating moment in the <BR>world when he told me that "he <BR>just can't do this anymore"I felt <BR>like a puppy being kicked to the <BR>curb.Is that normal?<P>At that moment I could feel how <BR>much he wanted me out of his life <BR>and his face.And I have vowed not <BR>to talk to him again.I've deleted <BR>any evidence that he was ever in <BR>my life.It seems to have helped <BR>but I just cannot stop thinking <BR>about him.Will it ever go away?<P>I beleive that everything happens <BR>for a reason but I don't know why <BR>this happened.I am such an honest <BR>person and its just eating me up <BR>inside that I could be so selfish <BR>and heartless.The fact that I <BR>could hurt so many people just <BR>for a few moments of pleasure.<P>It's like even if I left H for OM <BR>it would never work because he <BR>could never be able to trust me <BR>and I couldn't live with that.It <BR>was all built on such a yucky <BR>foundation.<P>All I want to do is move on and <BR>rebuild my marriage but I'm <BR>scared.What if I have these <BR>temptations again?Will I ever <BR>stop thinking about OM? How long <BR>does it take?