Getting Better,<P>That someday has arrived!! Even though I've said alot of bad things about my ex, there is one thing I absolutely have to give him kudos for. He always made me feel beautiful. How did he do this?<P>1) He did not make a habit of admiring other women's looks. I (and most women) are pretty good at picking up when their man is gawking, even if they try to do it surreptiously. <P>2) He did not purchase books, magazines, movies, etc. that unrealistically objectify women's looks. i.e. Playboy, porn, etc. We all know that these images are implanted, airbrushed, and posed to give the model maximum advantage. How's this for an idea guys? Take Playboy like pictures of your own wife. If she is uncomfortable with taking nude pictures, then in something suggestive like lingerie, a mini-skirt, or any other type of clothing she is comfortable with. My ex did this and it gave me the impression that he'd much rather have naked pics of me over any of that fake stuff.<P>3) Make a habit of noticing and appreciating changes in hairstyle, dress, whatever. It has to be genuine though, cause we can pick up on a phony compliment pretty quick. <P>4) and for you girls...Stop obsessing about the weight!! One thing guys hate is the question "do I look fat in this?" You know what you look good in! My ex and I used to call it "the grey zone". The grey zone is that area where you know there is no "good" answer to questions like the above. <P>5) Guys, as much as you might hate it, go shopping with your wife and pick out some item of clothing (not just lingerie, get out of the "gutter"
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)that would really look good on her.<P>6) take pictures of her or compliment her on times she is not all dolled up and making an effort to look gorgeous. There is nothing better than knowing that your man appreciates the way nature made you. Without makeup, high heels, hair done, etc. My ex, every once in awhile, would tell me how beautiful he thought I was when I was waking up. He would describe to me all the ways he thought I was beautiful, the light on my hair, the sleepy look I gave him, the softness of my skin. An effort to point out the less obvious things also makes a big difference.<P>He even thought I was cute in my grungiest work clothes. Got a kick out of going to Home Depot with the "home improvement babe". Believe me, I don't look like the Home Improvement Girl on TV, but there probably was something luminescent about me after having painted a house or plastered a wall. How's that for creative!!<p>[This message has been edited by TheStudent (edited March 29, 2000).]