50 signs your spouse is having an affair (All found on this board)

Below is a list of 50 indicators that your spouse is having an affair. It was compilied from the posting topic: Giveaway Habits of an Adulterer..... and originally posted November 13, 1999 at 04:35 PM. I have tried to combine the original list with the additions from the follow-up messages. I have made minor changes and if there are any errors or omissions of course they are mine [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

50 Indicators of Infidelity.1. A sudden upturn in their demeanor or outlook on life. 2. Constantly late. 3. More possessive toward wallet, pocket calendar or briefcase. 4. Comes home more often with alcohol on breath. 5. Starts talking about getting together with old friends they haven't seen in years. 6. Starts shopping for new clothes. 7. Starts taking a renewed interest in their appearance. 8. Starts keeping an overnight bag in their car or office, ostensibly for a workout or a game of tennis. 9. Orders dishes or new household items never ordered before. 10. Does not look at other women/men as much as they used to. 11. Starts working late and on holidays and weekends. 12. Express opinions on subjects that they never had an interest in. 13. Takes a new interest in anticipated schedule. 14. Encourages you to visit parents or friends alone. 15. They give you gifts that show a new level of taste or insight about the opposite sex. 16. Car is kept free of paraphernalia belonging to you or the kids. 17. Starts attending extended seminars or conventions. 18. Start using new words and phrases. 19. At odd hours they start remembering things they forgot to do at the office. 20. They suggest that you open up separate checking accounts. 21. Often forget to wear wedding ring. 22. Takes the dog for much longer walks. 23. Makes more phone calls late at night. 24. A marked change of attitude towards secretary, colleagues or friends. 25. Suddenly takes up new hobbies or friends that take them out of the house in the evenings and weekends. 26. They talk about a movie they've seen but you have not. 27. They insist on answering the phone. 28. They call out a different name in sleep. 29. Smell of a different soap from the brand at home and/or you smell freshly showered at 1.00am. 30. They care about how breath smells. New mints, gum, etc. found around house. 31. Uses pre-paid calling card/pager/cell phone for the first time ever. 32. Loses a lot of weight and seems proud of new body. 33. Saddest list item is: change in die-hard pro-life feelings on abortion. 34. Gut feeling. The biggest indicator of an affair is just feeling that it is so. 35. Juvenile behavior and music interests!!! 36. Uses more kid slang than the kids!!!!! 37. Knows all the new pop singers and has CD's. 38. When they lose stuff they accuses you of gettting into their "stuff".... 39. Uses the ATM way too much! 40. All of a sudden, their attitude about people who cheat changes, e.g., "we shouldn't judge because we don't know their whole story." 41."It wasn't a dinner date - it was just a way of saying thank you for carpooling" 42."I never lied about being married - she never asked me, so I just didn't bring it up" 43. Grocery shopping and other excuses to get out "alone." 44.The one difference is that my Wife wants our kids to like the other person because in the back of her head she thinks she will be with him. Very sickening. !!!!!!!!!!! 45. Carries toothpaste, toothbrush, mouthwash at all times. 46. When other person is co-worker, can't wait to get to work each day . 47. Becomes great friends with people going through divorce. 48. Defends other who are/have/will cheat(ed/ing). 49. Distances themselves from those with strong (any) moral values. 50. Gets "coded" pager messages at all times of the day and night[This message has been edited by Triumph2 (edited February 23, 2000).]

Here's a big one that I will always look for from now one.Attitudes toward Church, God and spirituality in general deteriorates.I saw it, but didn't understand it. I felt it was going to lead my H to becoming unfaithful when in fact it was a side effect of his affair. The "I'm damned anyway" attitude kicked in.

The other thing that I didn't think of back then that I know of now is the distancing of himself from not only myself but the kids as well. He seemed to separate himself from their interests as well as mine and seemed "untouchable"..... But then, that was then, definately not now! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

------------------ Chick's BrenYou won't see things until your ready to not be blind!

How about adding this one:Says Clinton didn't cheat.

- Your "sex life" deteriorates. - New haircut - Different cologne after using same one for years - spends more time in front of the mirror in the morning - leaves for work earlier than usual - doesn't take you to his work or in public anymore

Connie, I have to say that I forgot, he did use that!!! Isn't it weird? I told him I thought Hillary was nuts to put up with that SH*T and he acted personnally affronted!------------------ Chick's BrenYou won't see things until your ready to not be blind!

Minimizes or hides the computer screen when you walk by.Has strange id's in his instant messangerHas a seperate email account you knew nothing about. Changes passwords on things he formally had no problem with you getting into.

My wife started smoking during affair. Apparently this is something they would both do in the bars and clubs they went to.Stopping smoking for smokers would probably be a good sign also.Reading books about sex, finding joy in life, romance novels. This from a woman who rearely reads for pleasure.Absolutely HAD to go to gym every day. Sick kids, school functions, whatever, she still went to gym for her 2 hour workout daily. OM was "friend" from gym, of course.Definitely changes in undergarment and dresing habits. Lots of new pushup bras. Wearing "thong" underwear and no underwear under panty hose. This from a woman who previously had an almost obsessive method for tucking her blouse into her underwear, pantyhose up over blouse with waistband rolled down, etc. Apparantly no panty lines became more critical than her previous comfort oriented undergarments.Going out more frequently than previously. All of a sudden the girl's night out was once or twice a week vs. once every two weeks or so.The biggest tip off I should have caught was the increase in babysitter use. Before the affair the only time we would use a babysitter was on a night when we went out with each other. During the affair in addition to encouraging me to have my own activities without her, there were many times when I would come home late after one of my nights out and find a babysitter with the kids. She just couldn't stand to stay home on a friday or saturday.Coming home after a girl's night out hours after the bars had closed. (Say's they went out for breakfast).Taking a shower and sleeping on the couch after coming home from a girl's night out. Because she was sweaty from dancing, smelled like smoke, and didn't want to disturb my sleep she said. I'm thinking she was sweaty from something else!Going out on non-traditional nights, like a tuesday or wednesday vs. friday or saturday.Looking back I can tell exactly what nights she was out with OM from the above signs.Like chick says "You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!"[This message has been edited by help me (edited May 16, 2000).][This message has been edited by help me (edited May 16, 2000).]

Add to your list "hang up telephone calls"I noticed my husband would write two checks for lunch, on the same day, but about 10 checks out of order....Ask the bank for the check to be enclosed in the statement.

Looks through department store catalogs and circles sheets and a comforter for a different size bed.Takes a $2,000 cash advance from a credit card to pay a lawyers retainer fee and forgets to mention it or hoped you wouldn't notice.Moves out of the bedroom and stops wearing wedding ring.Starts to use curse words more often and in casual conversations.Starts to keep a detailed diary of both you and her time with the kids for the custody hearing.Turns down romantic trips and dates consistently.

How about...A marked increase in phone calls from "other sex friends" who previously never or rarely ever called -- and if they called, they called for YOU, not your spouse!An increase in "social drinking" ...Or for that matter, drinking new "designer drinks"Being on the outside of "inside jokes"Being uninvited to events your spouse attends with "friends"Expecting your kids to babysit themselves when previously they had been thought to be too young (since you cannot get home from work in time for things like "girls night out")....Just a few for thought.cynically yours,--keystone

how about theseStops saying "I love you" or even "I love you too"Becomes VERY critical of you------------------ Love and Prayers Nicole

Church can be hard to do when experiencing maritial troubles, even if there's not an affair....you have to "play" the happy couple. At least its difficult for me, W is much better a putting on the "act".One from many years ago (from 1st marriage): W states at dinner, at home on a Wednesday before heading to her parents solo for the weekend, "I sure do miss hanging with my friends...you know, being one of the guys." Sounds too obvious....but it's true.

I wish I had this list about 15 months ago maybe if I had read all the signs (almost all of them were there) I could have done something before it got so intense. How about constantly talking about a coworker. He had always done this before but not as much as he talked about her. Of course now I know what she is really like He told me she slept around. They definately change their morals. And began to question his faith. In twenty 26 years he always went to church then de didn't and the few time he said he did I am not sure about. (The times when I couldn't because I was recovering from surgery.------------------ di

* Complains about past mistakes (some as far as 14 years old) that were supposedly forgiven and forgotten.* Criticizes you in public.* For her everything is bright one day, then the next day she acts as if the entire world were her enemy.* Says nobody is totally honest.* Insists that life offers no guarantees, that it is better to live the here and now.* Some days she moves out of a room when you walk in. Some other days she seems to follow you everywhere.ALEX------------------------- Live fully and always learn.[This message has been edited by ThisAlex (edited February 23, 2000).]

My H showed many of the signs above, but Alex the one about complaining about past mistakes ( yes exactly as far as 14/15 years ) really hit the spot.That's exactly what I got. Something from even before we got married. That upset me a lot, because it was something to be closed ever since we got married, had no bearing in our married life, and and was never brought up by him at any other time before the affair. To top it off, he was using that to justify his affair.Another interesting sign was "amnesia" suddenly he forgot all about any happy times in our marriage, and rememebered only negative things ( some of them that had never happened, or not happened the way he was saying it ).Kat

Change in habits and withdrawing from family. Looking back, my x withdrew from family about fall of 98. She stopped getting up for the kids in the morning and I noticed she was drinking about everynight she worked when she got home.I think the emotional affair may have started back then. She stayed up late to call om at work while I was sleeping and then between that and the wine would sleep in the next morning. I never did find any evidence she called om at his home as it was long distance. I think she tested me in April of last year when she set up a special night away for us and when that didn't work out the way she planned the EA turned physical within 2 months.She never did mention om name previously. She always talked about her other coworkers, male and female but nver mentioned him.

Starts "accusing" you of cheating. Asking repeatedly if there is (has been) anyone else.I truly think something happened before we moved here, while I was here already working and he was home "packing" up our house. As soon as we were living together again, the accusations started, and kept getting more and more frequent..... Guilt justifying it's self?Maybe I'm reaching for those things, but definately not these:Staying out until 4 or 5 am, saying he went to the bar "with the guys from work", and then went to breakfast.... Until 5 am?!?!?!?!Staying out until 4 or 5 am two or three and then 4 or 5 times a week (not just when working late, but even on days off).Repeatedly stating reasons why "we wouldn't be good together" (H & Twinky).And, when stating "we're just friends" but refusing to walk away from twinky to save our marriage.Oh well, I'm mostly venting tonight anyway... D was final today.------------------ There are deep sorrows and killing cares in life, but the encouragement and love of friends were given us to make all difficulties bearable. -- John Oliver HolmesThe opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. -- Elie Wiesel

My H always told me that me and OW would be "great friends" before it turned physical, yet she never once came in to meet me in all the times she gave him a ride home from work.

lWb:My H said the same thing...only he introduced us and asked her to come check on me when he was away on business and I developed complications during pregnancy... [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

I would add "Picks fights about trivial things after 'running errands.'"--HBC

Here's some more...No longer pays attention to the kids or spouse,Loses interest in caring for the house and doesn't maintain it anymore,Withdraws from parents because too ashamed to face them,Says that they don't care about anything anymore,Says that they don't believe in marriage anymore and that humans weren't created to be monogamous creatures,Says that they weren't happy in the marriage and that they tried to fix it all by themselves in their head and it didn't work...Geez...wish my H would have told me that he was working on our marriage in his head...It would have been nice to be included in trying to fix our marriage. Stupid thing, though...he didn't come to me with our marital problems, but he sure didn't have a problem finding and confiding in a OW with OUR marital problems!

For me the signs were: 1. Very critical of me and constantly angry. 2. Restless. 3. Spent a LOT of time at the computer on-line. 4. Suddenly VERY private about personal stuff, like palm pilot, date book, etc. 5. Separate phone card from the one with our regular phone company. 6. Changed all passwords on e-mail account, or in my case, added a password to e-mail account (AOL). 7. Distance from me and kids. 8. Started sleeping on the couch. 9. Non-existent sexlife...or when we did...wanted to do very unusual or (to me) demeaning things. 10. Spent a lot of time alone. 11. Locked the bedroom door while on telephone. 12. Requested I get a separate checking account. 13. Started paying bills late. 14. Quit cutting the grass, trimming hedges, etc. 15. Quit helping out around the house. 16. Started new diet & exercise regimen. 17. Started buying new clothes and taking a new interest in physical appearance. 18. Disappeared for hours and unreachable. Refused to return pages. Left for entire weekends...said he needed space and time alone (yeah right).I could go on and on...these for me were the obvious signs.------------------ Blessed be. **************** KeridwenKeridwen_7@yahoo.com

To Beth28, Everything that you wrote applies to my situation to a tee! I read allthe others and they didn't apply but when I got to your post, I could have written it myself. The only very unique aspect to my H's EA (maybe P/A I don't really know..) is that she was my friend and she and her man were frequent overnight guests in our home for the past four years! I am not even sure if she is as attracted to my H as he is to her. He is still referring to her as his friend even though I know better and he got so angry the other day saying "Do you honestly think our marriage would be ok if I just stopped being in contact with her?" I said of course not but the fact that he not only insists on being "friends" for life, he is remvoing himself more and more from our life.. Sorry, I know I have changed the subject a bit here but I needeed to vent!

Mine was obviously wierd:I'd say, "Where were you?" and "Who were you with?" and he'd say, "Oh honey, you LOVE ME. Were you worried? That's so CUTE!"And then, of course, I'd find out he was with OW.Cute my [censored]!

Some of these have probably already been said but for me it was:1) not showing interest in my desire to go away for weekend together.2) checking email account whenever I wasn't at home.3) leaving for work extra early.4) being EXTREMELY forgetful!!!! And saying it must be a pregnancy related thing because I'm pregnant.5) being evasive when asked questions about his day, such as,what did you do forlunch today?6) Not wanting me to come to his office.7) Not wanting to meet me for lunch when I asked, saying he'd rather go out to dinner.8) not wanting to kiss me while making love...decreased sex drive...lack of affection...pulling away when I tried to get affectionate....I think that about covers it.

Kat,The amnesia about good times in a marriage happens in deteriorating marriages, regardless of infidelity. This unsettling (but fascinating) phenomenon is discussed by John Gottman in his latest book. The short version is that people will rewrite their entire marital history to justify their conduct. Bystander

My list

- 1.Pager w/ voice mail 2.Leave house immediately after receiving a page - which he would deny. Guess I'm crazy! 3.Errands which should have taken 10-15 mins. lasting much longer. 4.Meetings which routinely (for yrs)ended at one time, now end "late" 5.Hiding calendar,briefcase,wallet, etc. 6.Cell phone which we don't need 7.Evenings out with the "guys".Using the ate breakfast excuse to explain late (or early hours depending how you look at it), hours. 8.critical, Critical, Critical 9.Not happy, haven't been happy.Wish we'd never married. 10.Dining at places you've never been together. 11.Changes passcodes, passwords 12.So many lies, trips over them 13.Encouraging you to go out with your friends alone 14.Distancing himself from daughter 15.Change of clothes in car. 16.Cologne in car 17.Defensive,defensive, defensive. 18.Takes off from work without telling you. 19.Won't return pages. 20.Says he's going one place, if you check, he either didn't go, or left way earlier. 21.Picks fights so he has excuse to leave house. 22.Says really cruel, hateful things 23.NO affection, no sex, no nothing! 24.Hates family oriented activities or holidays. 25.Doesn't include you in activities you previously enjoyed together. 26.Hangs up phone if you unexpectedly come home or in room. 27.Needs space, time, etc... 28.Going out with the "guys", but sure not dressing like it. 29.New things he says he bought.This from the man who doesn't shop anywhere but hardware store. 30.Now has "friends" you've never met nor spoke with on the phone. 31.Deletes caller id frequently. 32.Clears history on computer every time. 33.Doesn't wear ring any more when going out. Probably could go on and go, because the fact of the matter is....regardless of how well wayward spouses "think" they are hiding it...their behavior changes. The above was occuring BEFORE I knew who OW was, I just knew she existed.Where there's smoke, there's fire.

1) Begins wearing pager while everyone is home. 2) Friends use the page number instead of calling directly. 3) Beeper goes off, runs out of the house without telling H that there is bread in the oven, calls and says she will be late, and still doesn't tell me that there is bread in the oven. 4) Doesn't sign emails "love -W" just "W" 5) Moves you into a different bedroom 6) Won't answer the question why we can never be intimate ever again. 7) comes home from first day with om weeping, saying, "I'm still a good person" 8) very critical, to point of indistinguishable that it wasn't my fault. 9) Won't let you see her naked again. 10) Wants a new car with a sunroof, and previously, open sunroof hurt her hair, open windows were bad for allergies (OM has sunroof, as does all of H cars) 11) Begins being needed for male friends whose marriages are in trouble. 12) doesn't want to say who was with her on her night out. 13) goes to smokey bars when never before went with H, it hurt her eyes and had to wash clothes. Now carries nips in pocket book after never having more than 1/2 glass of wine with H in 10 years. 14) comes home to tell me that WE won darts. 15) Hides new issues of Cosmopolitan under bed, never read before. 16) Says that Harley's "His Needs, Her Needs" is sexist. One should never look good just for H. 17) "You don't have muscles and never asked me to go roller blading before." 18) "What 2 day sporting events that you haven't been to in 3 years do you want to go to this month?" 19) Coworker at volunteer job never knew I was married (because you didn't wear your rings, and you didn't want anyone to know you were, and i don't hang out with these people at 2am in the morning) 20) One night 10 years ago and one day 8 years ago were the worst days of my life, do I have to bring it up again? 21) Why do think I am having an affair? 22) Because I don't trust us! 23) I wrote those nice anniversary cards 5 years ago because I was just writing it. 24) Kids, "OM was selected for the Olympic TRIALS back 20 years ago" H, "I QUALIFIED for the World Championships!" 25) W to H, "I want you to meet new friend!" W disappears, and then comes back, stands int he corner, beet red. 26) "Its all your fault." 27) Well I can't change what I said to you, but I will only apologize if forced to. 28) You can't go with me and the kids because you make me uncomfortable. 29) Volunteer workers are real, they put their butts on the line for others. executives are not, you are not real. 30) Now that you bring up the OM, I was going to talk to you about that, I have been very unhappy for a long, long time, for the last 10 years. 31) We've done it your way for 10 years, now its my turn. 32) subscription renewals are for maximum amount of years, usually 2 to 3. 33) H's table setting for dinner is not set if late from work. 34) Mumbled under breath, "I've always thought that I would be married to a bigger man." 35) doesn't want picture taken with H any more, even by kids. 36) When you hug me, do you have to hold it so long? (2 seconds) 37) carries new hair scent in car 38) can't drive to s or d soccer game in same car, always have to leave early for something.And the finale:39) W's newest best friend just found a soulmate by breaking up a marriage of one of soulmate's closest's friends. WHAT AM I STUPID? [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

[This message has been edited by WhenIfindthetime (edited May 30, 2000).]

They say, "what do you mean by sex?"Honest to God she said that!------------------ Prayers & God Bless! Chris For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

* Falsely acuses you of snooping or riffeling through their things.* Thinks you're listening at the door when they're on the phone.* At times goes way overboard in helping or complimenting (guilt), then other times is indifferent and could care less.* Remembers the entire marriage as a farce or never getting along. No good times.* Blames, blames, blames and blames.* Says things like "you know I've always been a loaner".* Can't remember from one day to the next things they've said or done.* Never seems to know what day of the week it is and loses time.* Pats you on the head like his pet dog instead of kissing you like he use to.* Does not want you to touch him.* Won't look you in the eyes when answering innocent questions.* All of a sudden gets a pager.* All of a sudden will not let you use his cell phone or password protects his cell.

The not wanting to go to church anymore or be around church friends anymore was my biggest clue that something was wrong.Also denying my feelings. OW was visiting from Italy and needed a place to stay. He asked if she could stay with us. I said sure. Next thing you know, he was taking off the week to chauffeur her around. I told him that concerned me and I was uncomforatable about it. I got the same response, "You don't trust me." I told him "I don't trust situations." I was right. That weekend after the EA came the PA. Followed by two weeks of guilt on his part and the "I want a divorce" when I finally got into his e-mail and discovered that he loved her and confronted him.Ugh. I hate this.

When your W brings home a "Men are from Mars"tape for you to listen to,and she says a"friend" at work gave it to her. --Murph

* Tells you "I don't think we should sign another year's lease"* Starts talking like the teenage boy next door.* Comes home wearing shirts you've never seen before.* Accuses you of throwing that shirt away, then finds out you sent it to the cleaners.* Doesn't want you to answer his new private "office" phone.* Wants to buy his own underwear, whereas always wanted you to buy it before.* Insists on doing his own laundry.* Won't let you in the bathroom when he's taking a shower.* Asks you for your copy of the key to his car.* Auto Ins Co. calls and says husband wants to put you on separate policies.* Ppl you havent seen in a while (his friends) start asking if you're still together. HUH?* Ppl you haven't seen in a while ask if you're okay. HUH?* Out of no where your H acts jealous over you.* Encourages you to go on a out of town trip and before hated you being away.* Calls you "Honey" and your normal pet name for 15 yrs has been Babe.* You find long blonde hair on his car seats. H has dark short hair.* The passenger door to his car is unlocked w/window rolled down slightly, and when he left solo an hour ago it wasn't.

*keeps asking you what you want out of life.*Talks about how disappointed he is in life, his career, you, family income, the kids, etc.*Keeps asking if you really love him, and looks skeptical when you say you do.*Is angry all the time.

Bumping this thread up again.
It is worth the read.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

L.

Orchid,

You sure have deep pockets.What else do you have hiding in there? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

O

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by Octobergirl:
 Orchid,

You sure have deep pockets.What else do you have hiding in there? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

O <hr /></blockquote>My pockets can't be too deep, I'm under-tall <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> .

I was packing and found this thread printed out in my kitchen drawer along with Trueheart's letter to the WS. I treasured those posts way back when.

I also see the same questions come up over and over again. Seems to go in cycles of sorts. When I started on MB, MB was flooded by hundreds of BS. It was not unusual to see about 18 - 20 new ones each day.

How the 'oldies' (aka: wiser MBers) put up with the likes of people like me is still amazing. I was fighting tooth and nail to save my M when all I was doing was spinning in circles and creating many ailments for myself. Oh yea and I thought about ending it a few times too. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> When I look back, I see what I once thought was a very self confident girl turned into a raging mom/wife who when cornered w/d anything to save her family. All legal and moral of course but very much on the edge of it all. I stayed within the legal limits and that frustrated the A to nooo end. I learned (after I got 2x4'd by the LB fairie and few of her friends here @ MB), that all along they were right. I needed to heal me first. That's why I am such an advocate of plan A and B. Short A and strong B. That's what worked for me. It took a while for this stubborn mind to let it all sink in. Many will say it never looked that way but I have a way of making it look all ok on the outside but shivering on the inside. During those times MB became my personal coach, my lifesaver, my friend.

Did I have an EA with MB? The WS thought so and sometimes the H still thinks so. In reality, MB took over and gave me the comfort, emotional security and hope to survive. It was an ER of sorts. Why? Because we have ER (emotional relationships) with everyone we come into contact with. I know my H gets a bit jealous when I have casual convos with the water softerner repair guy, another MBer, a seller on the craig's list (even though the guy was gay - <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ), anyone ...... I know he wants to be able to do the same. He can and does but he still gets jealous when I do it. So I have to be careful. Funny, I don't get jealous (unless the ER turns into an EA), then I get <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> .

Ooops rambling on a bit too much. Just thought this thread may help some newer ones like it helped me. It was also a venting tool which probably also saved the WS' life. I really don't give a hoot about the WS, just my H but at one time they were joint at the hip/head and heart...... progressive MB surgery helped. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

So back to your question, do I have deep pockets? Maybe just baggy ones. LOL!!! I know there are many more older threads that would lend great value in helping some newer ones out of their frustrated mode. Just can't remember where I put them all. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

L.

How about this? The Fogman speaketh:

"I'll deny it till the day I die...so will she"

"It never happened, this is all in your head"

"You're like obsessed with her."

"It's not about her, it's about our relationship. She has nothing to do with it"

"You always said you would leave if I ever cheated on you"

"Our M was over for at least a year"

"I am NOT a liar!"

"I told you I would be home when I GOT there"

"Somebody must have planted it there" (referring to OW's bra that I found in my bedroom)

"You've hurt me and I'm still not over it yet"

"I'm not ready to come home yet."

"I don't see any of the changes you've talked about"

"You forced me to leave"

"I just don't feel comfortable being at home"

"You weren't there for me when I needed it"

"I don't want a D because of the kids"

An hour later... "Don't stay with me just because of the kids!"

OMG, I could go on and on and on and on...

^ Bump^
This definitely would have helped confirm I wasn't goingnuts when I first suspected an A.
Thanks to Orchid for pointing it out to me.

<blockquote>quote:<hr /> I was fighting tooth and nail to save my M when all I was doing was spinning in circles and creating many ailments for myself. <hr /></blockquote>I've heard this one a few times! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Orchid, no wonder you and I get along so well...you were just like me a few years back! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Suddenly and I DO mean SUDDENLY starts listening to really REALLY country music .... where before he primarily listened to movie soundtracks.

Started growing this "medicinal mushroom" in our refrigerator ... some stinky fungal slop , in order to brew tea that would cure ALL his ailments! Got really sarcastic with me when I questioned the validity of this miraculaous mushroom claim. (Later, it was seen in the news some folks had DIED drinking this tea)

Took off Father's Day weekend. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

But HEY.......... that was a LONG time ago.... and he is now a NORMAL wonderful man who treats me right! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Pep <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

WhatamIdoing, this is like the twilight zone. If I didn't know better I'd think you were peaking in my windows the last three months. My WW hit everyone one of your fog statements except for about three. Good God!

[ August 16, 2004, 08:24 PM: Message edited by: Tom Joad ]

Tom

Scary isn't it? Fog is just plain friggin freaky!!

lol ... FWH did several of these .. but I have a few to add

* Takes same Voc-Ed class for several years in a row. (my dad - a welding class)

* Takes sudden interest in a church on the other side of town, goes every Sunday without fail -- when your own mother had trouble getting him to go to the church down the street for years. ( also my dad)

* The bathroom becomes a (cell) phone booth. (my sister's WH)

* Suddenly has a lot of knowledge about co-worker's children. (my FWH)

* Wants sex 3 times more often than "normal." (my FWH)

I know there are a few more, I just can't remember off the bat.

way2

[ February 25, 2005, 10:26 PM: Message edited by: way2 ]

Here are some of mine:

1. I have never loved you.
2. I did not want to get married.
3. There are plenty of women out there that would love to have you.
4. You are a great father and husband butâ€¦.
5. You were never there for me.
6. You control me.
7. You are paranoid.
8. You have jealousy problem.
9. He is just a good friend.
10. He helps me with my problems.
11. I have always wanted to be on my own.
12. Please move on with your life as I have.
13. We donâ€™t have a normal relationship.
14. I have lost all this weight because of stress and that is why I bought new clothes and underwear.
15. Kids will benefit from this. They will be fine.
16. I sent him that email to see if you were spying on me.
17. I love this one... "My counselor said the other man in my life is not the problem." <- She gave it away on that one!!!
18. He is so nice to talk to. That is all!!!
19. There is nothing going on.
20. You have had an affair. I know it.

bump!