Hollywood glorifies affairs...yuck! - Marriage Builders® Forums

I'm sitting here watching Oprah. Today's topic is about celebrity's love lifes. They are showing Antonio Banderas & Melanie Griffith's relationship. Melanie claims that although their affair hurt 2 marriages (don't know the exact words), they were meant to be together. YUCK! Everyone clapped and thinks that this is so great! Double-yuck!

It is not only on shows like this but it is in the music, the movies, and on tv as well. Yet, these things must pass because it pertains to the itching ears scripture.It is sad but it is an indication that we need to be weary for He is coming back like a thief in the night.------------------ God Bless, Rob regilmor@swbell.net

Gosh, I'm sad to say this but, I have a gut feeling the same thing is going to happen to Mel and Tony.What goes around comes around. And being in the Hollywood scene really intensifies the potential in every way.Jo

It's appalling that anyone thinks Hollywood stars live the same lives we do. They live in this rarefied atmosphere of constant adulation. Don't forget also that the financial issues are FAR different.Serial monogamy has ALWAYS been the watchword in Hollywood.Did you know that in 1921, William Randolph Hearst virtually singlehandedly manipulated what happened at a party in San Francisco into the Fatty Arbuckle scandal -- solely because he was trying to cover up the fact that he had installed actress Marion Davies into his house in San Simeon?He had a wife at the time.Mary Pickford was married at the time she and Doug Fairbanks got together...and that's regarded as one of Hollywood's great love stories.So this is nothing new.The lives of Hollywood stars may be fun to read about, but let's face it...don't some of the wayward spouses written about here feel like stupid ol' Melanie about their affair partners? Hollywood doesn't have a patent on it. What's scary is that people are so freaking stupid that they can't extrapolate a remark like that into their own lives.Stupidity, more so than guns, television, movies, or premarital sex, is the biggest threat to our society.

My guts wrench every time I hear about Catherine Zeta Jones & Michael Douglas--their engagement, pregnancy--ignoring that he's still married & has been for 27+ years?Or Demi & Bruce--no divorce--but they went on a double date with each other & their new partners...I don't even read PEOPLE and this crap comes into my knowledge.Gack.

All this Hollywood info is interesting but tragic, as well. I really detest that these so-called love affairs, are what they simply are, "affairs"That Catherine Zeta-Jones/Michael Douglas pregnancy is really getting on my nerves. I hate how they are flaunting themselves and media are glamourizing it and loving it!I recall about William Randolf Hearst and Marion Davies, but what is the Fatty Arbukle scandal?How sickening! I didn't know that Demi & Bruce went on a double-date with their new "temporary" partners. Yikes!

Obviously, this has been going on for eternity... witness the Bible stories. And to me - NOTHING beats Amy Grant and Vince Gill... she's a Christian, and I guess I expected more from her. Gosh, D&C, how'd you know all that stuff? Very interesting... but watch Mysteries and Scandals on cable, and you see all kinds of icky stuff like that... Alfred Hitchcock was such a disguisting pig, for example... it's a story as old as time... sad, that.

No Trust at least '8' affairs????!!!! and you're still with her. What is the point of being married if only one of the partners in this bond is committed? I think you are very loyal and stoic... but geez...how can you look at her knowing what she has done. Once could be considered a weakness or a mistake... but 8 I'm sorry, I just don't see your side on this one.

Who had 8 affairs? I don't understand what LonelyInLove talking about???

I don't know why this stuff happening among celebrities shocks you all. It's no different from athletes thinking they're immune from consequences.Hollywood stars live in a fantasyland, and their lives take place in one as well.Regarding Fatty Arbuckle: He was the biggest film comedy star of the silent era -- before Chaplin. He was at a party in San Francisco in 1921 where a known "bad girl"/starlet named Virginia Rappe was killed. The rumor started that Arbuckle had raped her and killed her with his weight. Hearst latched onto the story, and Arbuckle was tried for the crime -- twice -- and acquitted each time for lack of evidence. There's an out-of-print book called THE DAY THE LAUGHTER DIED that details the case.I know this stuff because I'm a movie history buff.These people don't live like we do...I don't know why people think they do.I get a big kick out of the Amy Grant/Vince Gill bit, BECAUSE of all the "I'm a Christian" nonsense. I love watching the sanctimonious and the self-righteous fall.It's like Newt Gingrich touting family values, then divorcing his wife (who was OW #1) to marry OW #2. Or Mark Chmura refusing to shake Clinton's hand because the president "is not a moral man", then sexually assaulting a teenaged babysitter in the bathroom of his home.

Hi Dazed!Thanks for answering my question about Fatty Arbuckle.I don't think that it is shocking that these celebs have affairs, but I do think that it is TRAGIC that media and some of society romanticize and glamorize it all...it's as if they think it is so wonderful that these 2 celebs got together....FORGET whatever harm comes to these philandering couple's families & spouses. They don't seem to have any importance. They were just in the way and the wonderful celeb got rid of them to pursue their so-called "soul-mate"

Speaking of Hollywood Starlites and atheletes thinking they're exempt or don't have to suffer consequences for their lurid affairs, what about the Music Industry? Although my H is not what he considers a successful Musician, he has repeatedly demonstrated that he too feels he is exempt from suffering any consequences for his adulteress actions. I think he believes he's "outside" of what is acceptable in a normal relationship simply because he is a Musician.I am not saying all Musician's are this way, but there is a stigma associated with the Industry and unfortunately I believe it's earned.Jo

I agree..... the movies, music and celebrities... they glorify it allwhat they don't realize is that real people are hurting in their hearts...this is no joking matter... to tell ya the truth.. I wouldn't recommend this to my worst enemy... to have your heart and feeling etc... trampled on is something else...I have such a strong feeling in me at times that if I was invited to a wedding etc... I would buy the couple Dr. harleys books... his needs her needs .... and explain to them that it is so very important... sorry for the ramble.... I just so hurt today.............s

I've always accepted that celebs are NOT like the rest of us. I chalk up the morons clapping in the audience to stupidity; to an inability to see that there are REAL FAMILIES affected by this.No less a Hollywood icon than Tom Hanks is guilty of this also. Now, Jo, I gather your H is a fairly high-profile musician. It's always seemed to me that groupies and such are "just part of the territory," and like being a sports figure's wife, it's part of the deal you make. You of course know more about this than I do, and only you know if your H seemed to be monogamous before you married.I think for us mere mortals, the emotional needs thing comes into play. But when you're married to a celebrity, whether in sports, film, music, or whatever, the temptations are so great, and your spouse breathes such rarefied air, and lives in a culture (i.e. the sports culture or movie culture or movie culture) where things have ALWAYS just "been that way," and I'm not sure there's anything you can do -- even the Harley methods, to counteract those influences.That whole "I looked at him across a crowded room and knew he was the one" thing is a romantic fantasy. But these are people who MAKE THEIR LIVING feeding romantic fantasies; fantasies which we mere mortals buy.As long as we consume the product and pine after lives like theirs, this will continue. Such as it always been, such will it always be.

Sometime moral people are in Hollywood headlines too.Mel Gibson and his family have been in the tabloids because he's been married to the same lady for 17 years, has seven kids, is a devout Catholic, and believes in all of the Bill of Rights not just the first amendement.If there were more of a demand for these types of stories, more would be printed. Sales equal money equal coverage.

You're absolutely right, Guilty1.That's what cracks me up about people who say, "They should show less [tv shows/movies] dealing with [violence/sex/drug use/etc.]."Except for one thing. PEOPLE WANT TO SEE THIS STUFF!!If there was no market, who would buy? People will flock to a movie with unmarried people having hot sex, or someone cheating on his/her spouse. But they WILL NOT go see a movie about happily married people.To me, one of the most romantic scenes in movie history is Katharine Hepburn putting her arms around old Henry Fonda in ON GOLDEN POND and saying "You're my knight in shining armour." But that'll never appear on anyone else's top ten romantic scenes list, I guarantee it.

What about the movies we watch? the movies our children watch? It just feeds into the acceptance of sex without commitment and that it's okay to walk out on your marriage if you are "in love".I just watched The End of the Affair. What rot! These two people supposedly had such a great love affair, demonstrated by how much they sacrificed for one another. Then the stupid H shows how much he loves the W by allowing the affair and inviting the lover to move into the house so that he can be there when the W dies. How stupid. All in the name of love? Does no one in this movie have any self respect?As for entertainers, I can see how it is a bit more tempting for them, but that doesn't excuse them for making immoral choices. My H is a musician who gigs in his "spare time". He really is wildly talented and the women pick up on that energy. They do go crazy over it and throw themselves at him. Bras, hotel keys, phone numbers. It is just shameless what people will do for someone they don't even know! How easily impressed! Hm, an ax murder who can play music. Wow, I think I'd like to sleep with him with no protection- NOT!

Oh man Popeye, your H is a Musician too??? My condolences.I say that only because I know what heartache can be associated with being married to one, especially if they're weak of character.And I agree, those women will throw themselves at them, do whatever it takes, and sometimes I'm embarressed FOR them, to get a Entertainer to sleep w/them, it's a conquest. They're just out there to seduce what they think is a "Star" and in all actuality he's just a human like the rest of us, a man. Sometimes a not very nice man too.They have zero respect for themselves and their target.Jo

Nope D & C, my H is not high-profile at all. He's now in a single person band and is struggling financially trying to find Gigs because Kareoke(sp)is taking over.Before his prospects of becoming "Famous" ran out, he was a pretty wonderful boyfriend and H. But as soon as the clock started ticking, and he got a little bit older, his convictions, character and value system went into the toilet.I'm not excusing him for his trangressions, but simply giving you the outside influences that lead us here.Jo

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by lonelyinlove: No Trust at least '8' affairs????!!!! and you're still with her. What is the point of being married if only one of the partners in this bond is committed? I think you are very loyal and stoic... but geez...how can you look at her knowing what she has done. Once could be considered a weakness or a mistake... but 8 I'm sorry, I just don't see your side on this one.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>I stay with her because God asked me to be there for her. God asked me to marry her in the first place. I love her because God loves her. I do what God asks. He is alwys with me and has shown me her pain.She is actually doing the same thing her mother did. She is the product of a broken home. All of her sisters by her mother have different fathers. Her father has children by several different women as well. God wants me to show her His love. I as a man am incapable of such love without His help. God gets all the glory, honor, and praise for my staying. ------------------ God Bless, Rob regilmor@swbell.net

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by professorg: I stay with her because God asked me to be there for her. ...God wants me to show her His love. I as a man am incapable of such love without His help. God gets all the glory, honor, and praise for my staying. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>You know, for a while I believed this was true in my case too. I hope you have more conviction and less pride than I do. I couldn't take it any more!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by popeye: You know, for a while I believed this was true in my case too. I hope you have more conviction and less pride than I do. I couldn't take it any more!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Everytime I tell myself that it is time to leave, He slaps me in the face either with scripture that I read at that moment, a sermon I hear on the radio, something I hear on the radio in general, or all of the above and many more.He also keeps me in tune with her pain and why He asked me to marry her. I wasn't going to get married until He told me He wanted me to get married in my last semester of college. I had been out of my previous relationship for 2.5 years. The break up of that relationship resulted in my devotion to Him and no relationship with women other than mother, sister, coworker, friend. I was never going to be hurt again.I was wrong but I know why He asked me to stay with her. He wants me to show her His love in a way that is meaningful to her. She still doesn't have the saving relationship that she thinks she does. If she did, I would never have had to endure 8 possibly 9 affiars. I think she has started another that hasn't gone full bore.As long as I continue to pray and read daily I am certain that I will be with her until she divorces me or I or she dies which ever comes first. Many think that I am being a doormat or trying to be a martyr. I am doing neither. I am merely obey Him and allowing Him to mold me into Jesus's image. With each new day I understand why Paul said what a wretched man that he was. I feel that I am a worm deserving of hell but for the grace of God I am saved and will get to heaven.I am His humble servant by being her humble servant. My whole life is one of servanthood as exemplified by Jesus. I know this doesn't make sense to most but the apostles suffered worse than anything I have gone through for their love of Him. Why shouldn't I do a little suffering in the flesh while my soul and spirit are elated knowing Him.------------------ God Bless, Rob regilmor@swbell.net

Hey, popeye, I hated THE END OF THE AFFAIR too. I really did. What an utterly joyless movie. The one thing I'll give the director and actors credit for is making an affair look completely un-erotic and unpleasant.Just like the movie.Yeah, I thought that end was pretty bogus. And I just want to take that Ralph Fiennes and smack him, saying, like Cher in Moonstruck, "Snap out of it!!" [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

And as good a treatment as I thought A WALK ON THE MOON was, there's a scene where the wife returns from seeing the OM after her husband finds out, and her son has been stung by wasps, which the OM treats successfully. Not only does her mother-in-law (her husband's mother!) treat the guy nicely, serving him tea, but the husband actually THANKS him. And of course, the OM sees this lovely family and realizes he shouldn't be there.Everyone just too noble and wonderful for words.

Okay...I'm NOT going to see "The End of the Affair"I hate movies about affairs anyway, although it seems like those movies are everywhere!Prior my H's affair, I was able to watch these types of movies. Now that I have a life-experience in this, and being the betrayed, these movies are difficult for me to watch.Anyone else feel this way now after betrayal?

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by NoTrust: Prior my H's affair, I was able to watch these types of movies. Now that I have a life-experience in this, and being the betrayed, these movies are difficult for me to watch.Anyone else feel this way now after betrayal?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>YES! The first time I cruised past Jerry Springer after finding out, I just wanted to vomit and slit my wrist from the hopelessness in society, the acceptance of running around, and the cavalier attitudes friends and family have about it. Don't people's feeling matter? Doesn't commitment matter? Are people tuning into this stuff to feel better about what they've done? It's simply disgusting. I've never liked Jerry Springer and have always been able to see the wrong in movies that portray this as "love", but now I react so strongly to it. Just can't stand it.

Jerry Spring show is really a circus! I can't believe they find people to actually be guests on that show. Only funny thing is when a betrayer goes up to justify himself/herself, everyone gets pissed off and boos them.