In my experience the most faithful men never wore wedding bands ever. Only men who were interested in showing their wives they were "faithful" wore wedding bands.<P>For women a ring is a status symbol. It means somebody loves them enough to take care of them for life. For men, in my experience, it symbolizes being "whipped".<P>Comments?

Really?<P>This is the first time I've heard that, but it does make sense.<P>When we married, my H wanted a band, I wasn't going to get him one, but he insisted.<P>Jeez, now I know why....<P>------------------<BR>Jo<P>Josie_Res@Hotmail.com<P>"Remain flexible like a reed, as opposed to an oak that will snap in the wind"

Hey Guilty1,<P>Did my post of H wearing a wash n' wear wedding band prompt this post????<P>Just curious.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Jo<P>Josie_Res@Hotmail.com<P>"Remain flexible like a reed, as opposed to an oak that will snap in the wind"

Jo,<BR>I was serious. The most leacherous men wear wedding bands. They flirt openly, and people think they are kidding when they aren't. As soon a wifey steps out, H is on the make.<P>Yours is just a variation of that "whipped" theme. He wears it for you, he doesn't for her. The ring or no ring is charged issue for the women. He can't win either way he's whipped. No ring = she owns him. Ring = you own him.<P>But he wore it when you were together first, eh?

Hmmm.....interesting...<BR>

Yes Wash'n'Wear wedding band did prompt this. But this post wasn't what you were getting at with that one. Your H has issues my H does not.<P>My H, my dad, my grandfather, President George Bush, and many other married men never wear wedding bands, unlike President Clinton and the slime I had an A with who always do.

<BR>I wore my wedding ring until it didn't fit. I never bothered to have it resized until last summer, when I thought that perhaps if I wore it, my W would appreciate my committment. (This fits with Guilty1's assessment that "men who were interested in showing their wives they were faithful wore wedding bands.") In my defense, I was and am faithful.<P>I quit wearing it after discovering that my W was still in contact with OM (8/13/99, isn't it odd how we remember dates?) after she said it was "over". I left it on her dresser and have no idea what has become of it.<P>Slightly Sane<BR>

Hate to destroy your theory, but my husband doesn't wear a wedding band except on special dress-up occassions.

Insinuating that faithful men don't wear wedding rings and unfaithful men do propagates a stereotype that is just not true.<P>My husband did not wear a wedding ring before his affair, but the woman knew us both and knew he was married. Now that we have recommitted ourselves to restoring our marriage, we both wear new rings.<P>I doubt that not wearing a wedding ring is a true sign of a faithful husband, and I KNOW that wearing a wedding ring does not mean that a man will be unfaithful.<P>My wedding ring is not a symbol that I have someone to "take care" of me for life. And my husband is certainly not "whipped". <P>Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but I find these statements particularly offensive.

Just my 2 cents.........<BR>My stbx hasn't worn his ring in over 3years.<BR>No,PA......but I am inclined that there is an EA.<P>I do have to say tho that both my brothers and father are very happily married and wear their rings.......<P>I don't think that it will fit into an "All" kinda thing........but it is very interesting.<P>Gina <P><P>------------------<BR>"If we deny love that is given to us,if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss,then our lives will be empty,our loss greater!"-----Anonymous----

My stbx "lost" his ring the second year we were married. It never really mattered to him. He is a major flirt and I believe that his wearing the ring hampered his efforts. <P>Even though he and I work at the same hospital some women who also work there have no idea we are, or ever were, married. <P>I have to say that it would have been more of a sign to me that he was committed to the marriage if he had worn a ring.

I have always worn my ring, not to show my wife I am faithful but to show the world that I am involved with someone special. I have always been proud to wear it. In the face of my wife's affair, I now wear it as a symbol of my determination to resolve our issues and reconcile.<P>You can call me "leacherous" or "whipped" if you like. I will still wear my ring! <P><p>[This message has been edited by Gonnatry (edited June 13, 2000).]

Nope we don't fit. My H never wore his ring and he is having an EA. <BR>Lora

My Husband always wore his wedding ring during our 7 years of marriage BEFORE my affair. He took it off during/after my affair and we both put our rings back on after recovery (I took mine off during my affair and we both put our rings back on after both being unfaithful to one another).<P>I think that for many, the wedding band signifies a very special bond. Obviously, when the bond is broken, the spouse doesn't want the ring on because they feel as if there is no significance there anymore. If a husband/wife keeps their wedding ring on just for "show" for the other spouse, obviously they are really being deceitful if this is trying to be a blatant show of "faithfulness" when there is none. <P>I would venture to guess that the betraying spouse takes the wedding ring off when they're not with their spouse, or that they just are not understanding that the ring makes any difference at all when they're involved. They most likely never think of it even being on. I don't think it's an issue until the betraying party really thinks about the significance of their vows, which the ring is a symbol of.

Mt stbx always wore his ring...even when he played softball. But.......he said that he would like a new one....right around the time he started messing with OW. I finally bought him a beautiful one about 2 months before he walked out the door. He took it back and it broke my heart.

I wore my ring the entire time I was married up until I was so unhappy in our marriage that I took it off and threw it at my wife and told her that I would not put it back on until I had a wife and not just a roommate. As a matter of fact I stated that I wanted a divorce at that time and it was she who talked me out of it, and guess what, she had already started seeing the OM when all of this happened, went to him and told him that I had taken off my ring and wanted a divorce because she was a roommate rather than a wife. She is seeing another man, is sooo unhappy in our marriage, sees that I am giving up because of my unhappiness, doesn't want to get a divorce, but is in an affair(EA at this point), go figure <P>I haven't put my ring back on since, and this was in Oct/Nov. of 1998

You could be right, Guilty1.<P>My H wore a wedding ring right up until he started hanging around with his friends from work (including Dragon Lady). Then he started taking it off to play guitar, or to fiddle around inside the computers. I kept finding it and returning it to him, and he'd either put it back on for a while or just put it aside.<P>Finally he lost it.<P>Two Christmases ago I bought him a new ring (with his agreement). It's too big and he never wore it. <P>It's bothered me for a long time, and I wish he would want to wear it. But ultimately I decided to focus on the state of our interaction with each other on a day-to-day basis, rather than the status of the metal on his hand (or lack of same).<P>Wedding rings can come off. They are not a guarantee. And I don't think they mean as much to men as they do to women. I work with a bunch of guys who complain about their wives constantly. Every last one of them wears a ring....except the one who NEVER complains about his.

I never had a wedding band and I've been faithful throughout our marraige. I did not see it as being whipped. I just didn't like wearing jewelry, no watches, no rings. What's interesting now after 18 years of marraige is that my W wants to buy me a wedding band.

I strongly disagree with this synopsis. I was always the one who would take my wedding band off first when H and I would get into terrible fights that ended in seperation twice. He was upset and said that he is tired of me taking my wedding band off whenever we argue as if it means nothing. Then the last time before counseling he took his off after i took mine off which sounds crazy but hurt me. When questioned he said that he would not put it back on until it feels like a marriage again. I was hurt but understood because I was always taking it off when upset. He now wears it again. And I have promised myself that I would not take it off again unless it is truly over, meaning divorce.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Guilty1:<BR><B>In my experience the most faithful men never wore wedding bands ever. Only men who were interested in showing their wives they were "faithful" wore wedding bands.<BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>My H didn't get a wedding band until we were married 3 years. He had all these excuses about losing it while he was working and not being able to find one to fit his hand. He finally got one as a gift FOR ME on our anniversary 2 years ago. He wore it for about 2 weeks.<P>When we got engaged, he searched high and low for the perfect ring.He got the most flawless diamond he could find. It's an F color, VVS2. He spent a bunch. By the time I got my wedding band, long after we were married, he didn't even ask me what I wanted and got a ring of much cheaper quality and price just to shut me up (so it seems in retrospect). It's still a nice ring, but nowhere near the care went into picking that one as did my engagement ring. Guess he was already sneaking then.<P>Yes, I think the rings symbolize a lot.