MY LAST POST - THANKS to all of you! - Marriage Builders® Forums

Hello fellow MBers,There comes a time when we all need to say goodbye. My time has come. I grew up with some wonderful folks on this board. Most of those 'old timers' have either moved on or are serious lurkers. We all came seeking help in one of life's most emotionally crippling events. I shared my feelings, thoughts, and experiences with you. Many of you did the same for me. I thank you for allowing me to be a part of your life. I have several friends from this board and I even got to meet one in person! I am forever indebted to many of you for helping me through the darkest chapter of my life. The good news is that my wife and I are healing. I am my focused on what is important in my life. Years ago, apathy slowly crept in to our marriage. My wife and I drifted apart to the point where she emotionally divorced me. Another man came into her life and filled the gaps of unmet needs. A chain of events transpired that changed both of our lives forever. It has been a long difficult road and my journey is far from over, but I know my wife and I will make it. Our marriage will never be the same - that's not to say it won't be better, just not the same. We are communicating, sharing, and appreciating each other like never before. God has used an awful and hideous event for good. He is an AWESOME GOD! My wife is still the greatest gift God has given me. The Lord has given me strength to continue when I thought I had nothing left to offer. My wife gave me another chance to be the man she always knew was in me. The only advice I can offer is this: ** Seek God's will in all you do ** Change is required to rebuild a marriage and it has to start with you ** Never tire of doing what you believe is good and right ** Be the best spouse you know how to be ** Give unconditionally without thought of receiving even in the face of adversity ** Forgive your spouse for making poor decisions ** Forgive yourself for the mistakes you made in your marriage ** Realize that you are something special for trying to heal a damaged marriage - even if the marriage doesn't recover I still have email so please write you if wish --- sha@holygrail.co.ukI thank you all for your friendship. I feel you will never know the impact you had on my life. I pray God will bless you abundantly in all you do. Goodbye my friends.Your fellow MB warrior, Sir Hurts Alot------------------ There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.

Fare thee well...I have learned so much from you. I admire and respect what you have done and are continueing to do.God's Blessings through all of your life.

SHA,Take care friend. You've been a great help to many people.------------------ Prayers & God Bless! Chris For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

SHA,Good bye and may God continue to bless you. You have been an inspiration to me many times. I don't think you realize the impact you have had on so many peoples lives either.I wish you and your W the very best. You are one of the icons on this board.I wish you a good life and God's speed.JL

SHA... You probably don't know me, but when I first came here, I found and read many of your posts...found a lot in them to help and encourage me. Thanks for all that. Glad to hear things are going well.Vaya con Dios--Kathi

An inspiration to so many......your blessings to continue! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

Jim

shaYour advice comes from experience and is therefore the best advice there is. I will keep your words with me at all times and I pray they will lead me through the difficult times ahead.Thank you.

Goodbye SHA and best wishes to you and your wife. Thank you for many moments of desperately needed inspiration. Starpony (representing the "serious lurker" camp)

Uh oh. I remember when you arrived and I have neither moved on OR turned to serious lurking. I funny-lurk every now & then, but that's altogether different. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

Thanks SHA for sharing your life, story & help with us.------------------ Lor "Let love be genuine...hold fast to what is good; love one another." Rom 12:9-10

"what a long, strange trip it's been..." happy to see you've emerged on the other side...MONDO HUGS SHA!!!!!!!! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

take care of you, take care of her, take care of the 'us'...be well.------------------ "The journey into darkness has been long and cruel, and you have gone deep into it." ~ A Course in Miracles

Sir HA Look how far you've come!! I will have fond memories of some of the threads we lived through. The best of luck to you and your wife. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

I heard something from fighter this morning. News he asked me to pass on to anyone who remembers him. I will e-mail to you if you'd like. I know you haven't forgotten him.Take care. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

So why are you leaving? I hate to see you go! We need as many success stories and encourgement for the newbies as we can get. Please try to stop by and insert hope for a better future whenever you can. Your strength, warm advice and compassion are still needed. Wishing you the best of luck and a wonderful future!

Hi SHA,I'm sorry to see you go. My h and I are also healing and I've wondered the same thing.I keep looking for a way to "control" my time here rather than leaving. Yes, to help others. But also to discuss the struggles that we still face, to talk to others like you who are working through the challenges.If you feel you must go, God bless you.

May God bless and keep you SHA. You, like Chris and several of the other men here have shown me that all men are not jerks, I thank you for that. I remember the pain you were in when you first came here. Yet I will always remember that you never gave up on your W , and have loved her through it all. You sir are one of my heros.Take care, let us know how you are, and please do drop in for a word of hope to newbies, as well as the rest of us "old-timers" from time to time.Thank you for being the you God made you to be,------------------ DebHepatitis C, Please educate yourself ! <A HREF="http://www.hepatitis-central.com/In" TARGET=_blank>http://www.hepatitis-central.com/In</A> memory of a very dear friend <A HREF="http://fathom.org/teemingmillions/wally.adp" TARGET=_blank>http://fathom.org/teemingmillions/wally.adp</A>

Dear SHA,Your post made me cry--tears of happiness for you! I only hope and pray that I can help as many through my experience and write a post like this some day. You and your wife have my best wishes and prayers!

SHA -- You will be missed here my friend. I am truly glad that you are leaving as one of the successes.I hope that you will check back in on us once in a while and let us know how you are doing.God Bless

I'm so proud of you.....I've read and followed your example every step of the way.You will be missed. Please stop by every now and again and let us know how you are.God bless you both.Love and prayers,Lori

I feel like you have graduated! It's wonderful to say good-bye to someone because they are devoting the energy and time to continuing their healing process! It's sad that we won't have you to rely on, but while it's true that the newbies need positive successful examples, we have the archived posts to point to.My wishes for you are that you will continue to find joy in your wife and she in you. And that you will always remember the lessons that live and this place taught you. I do believe that, as in life, there comes a time when we have to say good bye to these forums so that we can devote our time and energy to our marriages. I am still hoping that I will be able to say good bye to the MB forums in the same way that you are: because I have successfully applied what I have learned - and I have either succeeded in making my marriage whole again, or simply in making myself whole again, even if the marriage ends! You are absolutely right that both outcomes can be examples of success!I echo FHL: Fare thee well, Sir!------------------ terri CourageWhatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong.There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right.To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.Ralph Waldo Emerson

SHA, Take care you. I am thanful some of us get a second chance to thier marriages. I am very impressed with you and what you have done. My prayer for you is that God will grace your every move...... Michael

SHA~ You and your presence has truly blessed my life! I shall sorely miss your very honest and good advice and gentle nature. I celebrate with you your success and happiness, I shall personally miss you. God Bless!------------------ Chick's BrenYou won't see things until your ready to not be blind!

SHA,I echo what all the others have said. You are an inspiration.I will miss you, my freind. I am so thankful that I have been given the opportunity to know you.My God bless you and your family. May His grace and love shine on you.You will always have a friend in Omaha!!Take care and God Bless,Cheryl

SHA, I too will miss you and I wish you and your wife the best in everything in the years to come.It has been an honor to know you. {{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}God Bless!!Bob

SHA:People leave this board every day, but each time they do they each take a little part of the whole of us. We come here to ease the pain and gain some knowledge and help.The time must come of course for all of us to leave...God's good grace is that we all leave this board as successful as you are.We will miss your wisdom here...but understand that the time has come to move on. You will be sorely missed.Buffy

I picked this little arrow icon, because it represents to me your moving forward to embrace the future you now hold! God Bless you and your life. I am so very glad you are where you are, and going where you are going. You will be missed out here in lurksville, definitely.I know I am not saying goodbye, but rather "see you later". I know we will have one wonderful reunion in heaven some day, my friend.Your friend in Christ, TNT

You've graduated with honors from the School of Hard Knocks. Congratulations on your success in rebuilding your marriage. I hope you will occasionally lurk and post if the thread suits you or you can offer someone some hope through your experience.I remember your early posts filled with despair and confusion and how the posts vascillated from bad days to good days and so on as your journey evolved. May you and your wife enjoy the blessings of recovery.Catnip =^^=

ShaI am a newbie and from the inspirational last post you have, I read something that helped me - that about marriage not being the same but can be better. I don't know how that can be done but if you can do it, maybe my H and I can, too.It is sad to hear your advice is great and you are going as I am joining. I am reading a book that is wonderful "Forgive and Forget - healing the hurts you do not deserve" by Lewis Smedes. It really is so precise and the preacher is so spot on about what complete recovery is. I hope I am not presrcibing something for you that you do not need, but I hope you can reference the book to others who may need it.You have so much courage to start again - I don't know how.I never thought I would be in this forum but for the grace of God.I wish you abundant life on this earth and God's blessings. May your cup runneth over with peace, joy, love, health, wealth on your second journey with your wife.weep

SHA..........Sorry, on one hand, to see you go. You've provided me with the drive to continue on more than one occasion. Your inspiration will be missed.I'm glad, on the other hand, that you'll be leaving due to your success. I hope you will continue to be successful in rebuilding your marriage. Please stop back once in a while to let us know how you're doing. Goodluck........TomH

My dear friends, My cup runneth over. I never imagined such an overwhelming response. I sit here and weep as I read through your posts. I will carry your friendship with me always. You picked me up when I was down. You encouraged me to continue when I thought my efforts were in vain. You gave me a shoulder to cry on when my sorrow was overpowering. You rejoiced in my happiness and success as well. I'm a better man for having you all in my life.I am happy to have been an encouragement and inspiration to you as well. I want you to know that it is difficult for me to leave, but a necessary step I need to take to continue to move forward in recovery. I leave you with a song my why wife sent me. When she gave this to me, it was then that I knew we were going to make it through this most difficult time in our life. My very dear friends, I pray God will bless you and keep you in His arms in your journey through life. Sir Hurts Alot "My Unsung Hero" You sit in silence in the shadows You don't complain or criticizeAnd while the world may see me as a fool They're not looking through your eyesNo questions asked you're there when I need youWith a love that inspires me to be everything you deserveCause you're my unsung hero And I know it's not easy to walk in your shoesDay after day You continue to amaze me Now I sing this song of love for youWhile others long to steal the spot light You work your magic quietlyCause you're not in it for the glory The love you give comes naturallyI may not have much But what I have I give to youAnd this song I sing is my gift And I swear I mean every wordCause you're my unsung hero And I know it's not easy to walk in your shoesDay after day You continue to amaze me Now I sing this song of loveYou're my unsung hero And I know it's not easy to walk in your shoesDay after day You continue to amaze meNow I sing this song of love for you Now I sing this song of love for you

Beautiful song. Best wishes to you, your wife, and your recovery. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

QoF

SHA --Thanks for sharing, and thanks for advising. It sounds like things are well on their way to recovery.Chin Up!!--keystone

SHA,Thanks for all you have done here. Good luck, and God bless you and your wife.------------------ But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Galatians 5:22-23

I remember when you arrived here. All the very best to you & your W - you BOTH deserve it! I'll be among the rest here who are sorry to see you go - but completely understand your need to do so. Keep up the good work! And enjoy the fruits of your labor forever.------------------ ~suse~ Rome wasn't built in a day.

SHA,Amazing and inspiring how many old members gathered here these last two days to witness your happy graduation. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

Congratulations and my best wishes in this wonderful journey called life. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

Alex------------------ Live fully and always learn

SHA....as a long time lurker, very infrequent poster, I must agree with all the good/mushy things people are saying to and about you. You have done so many people, so much good. Best of luck to you and your wife. Thanks again....

SHA:You have been a wonderful source of inspiration and information for so many people here... best wishes on your "journey"!God bless. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]