"The Aliens Have Landed!" (If you need a laugh) - 01/14/02 06:57 AM
Warning! Warning, Will Robinson! This is very long, and possibly incredibly strange.<p>OK, boys and girls, let's look at this thing from a different perspective for a minute, shall we?<p>We all know our WS's have been "abducted by aliens" (thanks, WAT!). Well, today, in an effort to figure out what makes us continue to attempt to speak to them in "Earth-talk" when they've been abducted by aliens and infused with another, foreign-to-earth language, I came upon some other interesting behaviors we need to remember in our encounters with these alien creatures.<p>First of all, I remember seeing a movie several years ago, "Star Man" starring Beau Bridges, I think? He was an alien, and his spaceship crash-landed on earth. This earth woman lived alone, her husband had died. Well, Beau slithered (not sure if he slithered, since he didn't have a form we could recognize yet) into her living room, and found a single strand of hair belonging to her dead H. The alien used the DNA he found on the hair to make himself look like an exact replica of her dead H. Needless to say, it was shocking to her when she first saw him! OK, you're getting the point.<p>First Point: Our WS's are like the alien in this story! They LOOK LIKE our S's. We want to treat them like our S's....but they act so different! Soooo, when will we figure it out!?!? THEY'VE BEEN ABDUCTED!! And the only thing left in their place is their bodies!!! Their brains are gone....to moose brain worms, aliens, or worse. Whatever, doesn't matter. The point of this rather silly post is to help you all see that "acting like you're dealing with your REAL spouse while in the presence of one of these aliens is IMPOSSIBLE"!!!<p>Second Point: When dealing with the Alien, remember that just 'talking it out' - or some such other "normal" behavior you might have been able to do with your original spouse, JUST WON'T WORK....this ain't your spouse....this is the alien residing in their bodies!! Stop trying to reason with the alien....<p>Sometimes I just want to take my H, shake him and shout in his face, " Will you just please stop acting like an idiot and come home and get your SH** together!?!?" Ah, well, so far I've restrained myself, as I know it won't do any good. This ISN"T your spouse. Some other entity has taken up residence in their bodies, and erased their memory banks. Always remember that.<p>Third Point: IF and WHEN you do have occasion to have "contact" with the beings on board the ship, remember they hold NO memories of "dating" - "marriage ceremony" "laughter" - etc. These "happy times" from your time together seem to have been erased from their memories. You'll have to recreate all new ones for them to draw upon. All the while you will have to once again "ingrain" yourself on their brain and heart as the one person they will want to spend the next however-many decades with.<p>Fourth Point: IF and WHEN "dating" takes place, remember that you ARE DATING AN ALIEN....Falling into "old" behavior patterns, whatever little "intimate things" went on between you (I'm not talking about s*x), may have to be re-invented. Such as little "games, jokes, sayings, etc." - sometimes EVEN THOSE cannot be recalled by the alien. You must ACT AS IF YOU ARE ON A DATE WITH AN ALIEN. Restraint is very necessary while dating an alien. One slip-up, and they may zoom away back to the Mothership! Slip-ups include any behavior that reminds one of the ugly, bit**y, nagging, screaming, whatever spouse of times past. These behaviors have strange effects on aliens. It makes them run for the sanctity of the Mothership all the more (hmmm, maybe we ALL want to go there?). It sounds so "Nirvana-like" doesn't it?<p>I think it was WAT who once postulated that there are no MIRRORS aboard the Mothership. I whole-heartedly agree. There is NO introspection aboard the Mothership. There is no possibility of reconciliation or counseling, there is no "guilt associated with hurting those who love you" aboard the Mothership. Sooo, while they are aliens, using these types of tactics simply sends them packing again.<p>Well, kind folks, I think that's all the thoughts that are rattling around in my brain that I'm able to sort out enough to put down on screen (used to say "paper" - but who uses THAT STUFF anymore?). I may dig out some more analogies at a later date. If you come up with any of your own, please feel free to help out here. I can use all the help I can get! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>God Bless us, every one.