Yesterday morning, my husband and I were alone in the house for the first time in a long time. We wound up naked in our bed, with what I thought was the intent of making love (to me, meaning intercourse - or at least I hoped so). We fondled each other briefly, my husband climbed on top of me, then proceeded to rub himself against my leg and climax. This form of "sex" has been going on for a long, long time. I am 43, my husband is 45. We have four children ages 15, 13, 11, and 8. We don't want more children. My husband doesn't want me to use any form of birth control, won't use anything himself, says he wants to have intercourse - but never goes threw with it. He thinks I should know "when the time is right or wrong". He WILL NOT consider a vasectomy. He's heard too many horror stories. Any advice would be more than appreciated.<p>Thanks.

For what it is worth, I can tell you, I had a vasectomy done 4 years ago and it was not as bad as people make it out to be. The worst part was the shot and as soon as the meds took effect (3 to 5 secs), there was no pain at all. Tell your husband to look into it, it is not bad and the sex afterwards is like it was when you were PG, no more worries. Also if he is not willing to put on a condom, they also have shot for women that you get every 3 months and the only side effect I heard of, is that you will not have a period, but you should talk to your Dr. about it, I do not know what the shot is call, but you Dr. should know.

Your husband is being a pus*y, plain and simple. I am being blunt for a reason. His masturbatory, non-sharing form of "sex" is so self-centered it makes me upset.<p>Unless you are totally content with this form of "sex" give him an ultimatum. Either birth control or he gets a vasectomy. It's cheap, easy and tell him that you will make sure to keep a fresh supply of cold beers between his legs during the weekend of healing. [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Sex/making love or whatever you want to call it is a two way street. You need to have the car drive through your side of the street!!<p>God Bless,<p>Guido [img]images/icons/cool.gif" border="0[/img]