There are still some here that remember my story. D-day was Nov. '99, one of the lowest points in my life. I posted here almost daily, this was my only support network at one point.
When we promised ourselves and each other to live by the Harley principles, we set things in motion that started us toward meeting each other's needs and building a great relationship for the first time. I thank God we had an opportunity to start again and get it right. And yes, I believe WE were given another opportunity, even though he was the WS; we both made many mistakes, didn't know much about what it took to have a good marriage.
Our relationship was much better and I realized I would have to put his betrayal behind me. I would have to do it, it wasn't something he could help me with.<p>Another thing we grappled with for a very long time was how we could better set up our lives to create the infrastructure for a great marriage. We realized that we had so many decisions ranging from his job to where we lived that were not moral decisions, but they collectively had a very big impact on our family.<p>We struggled trying to spend the 15 hours a week Harley recommended. But he continued working long hours and travelling almost constantly. The travel especially caused us to disconnect since there never was a chance to catch up on all the hours we were apart, and the parts of each other's lives we had missed.<p>So, we've been searching for two years for a way to make a good living that would also give us a great lifestyle; one where we could spend lots of time together and with our kids. We wanted to work the hours we chose and have the time for our family. We truly thought we would just have to settle for him going back to the same old type of job (he was laid off in Sept. as some here will remember).<p>The short version of this is that we have found what we were looking for. I don't want to get into details here because I deeply respect the purpose of these boards to stick strictly to marriage issues. But if anyone wants to know; serious or curious; you could e-mail me or post your e-mail addys here.