A best age to marry?? Any opinions/speculations

[ February 06, 2005, 10:03 PM: Message edited by: hanora ]

Well I got married at 22 - I was in no way mature enough or ready for marriage or children until I was at least 28-30.If I could do it over I'd have definitely waited til at least 28.

I was 30 and my W was 26. It was my first and her second marriage. I agree that it's more of a maturity issue than age. Also, you need to have good communication skills. Unfortunately, age has nothing to do with that. In my case, I can look back and see things that I should have paid attention to at the time, but didn't. I guess the bottom line is that I don't think age has anything to do with the success of the marriage.

102.OK, nothing under 25.

I would agree with the replies you have here already but would recommend that anyone thinking of marriage should read some marriage builders posts to get an idea of all the things that can go wrong.I would say around 40 for a man, 30 for a woman.I think virgin marriages are truly dead.[ May 28, 2002: Message edited by: olderandwiser ]

Well according to the following 'experts':23 is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by them --- Camille age 10. No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married. ---- Frieddie age 6.
So it is either 23 or not at all. LOL!!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] I guess I was destined to fail, I married @ 32. Hmmm... must be dyslexic (32 s/b 23)..... [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] L.

<blockquote>quote:<hr> I think virgin marriages are truly dead. <hr></blockquote>Now what's that supposed to mean?!!?!? [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] I did my part to have my "end" of the marriage a virgin marriage!And - I don't know the right age, but 19 is to early!! - spoken from the voice of experience!!
We have been married almost 10 years now, but it's no wonder we've had our share of problems. We were kids (and some might say we still are) dealing with adult problems. We've survived this far by having God in the middle of our marriage. WH booted him out for a short period of time, but when he came to his senses, he invited Him back into our marriage and home.As far as maturity - what's maturity? Nonselfishness? I think that's the biggest problem with most marriages - selfishness.

I was 28 and my husband was 31. This seemed about right. However, the downside of waiting that long is that we both had our own places and were somewhat set in our ways of doing things. The road has been bumpy, but six years later I can honestly say that we are back on track [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

I can tell you 18 is WAY too young. My H was 22 (also too young & immature) I graduated from High School a year early so I could get a job and get married quicker. I was really smart with good grades and should've gone to college. What was I thinking?! What were my parents thinking?! Everyone said I was "so mature". Evidently not mature enough to make a smart decision.No younger than 25 for a woman, no younger than 28 for a guy. at peace

Follow up question for At peace, jamup, Bramble Rose:If I understand your posts correctly, you’re saying you “married too young.” Is there anything that anyone could have said or done to dissuade you from marrying at that young age?I find this topic so frustrating. I believe that marrying young is a horrible idea. And I hear complaints that people no longer take marriage seriously anymore, that they think marriage is disposable. But why aren’t people railing against getting married before you’re ready? Wouldn’t the divorce rate go down if fewer “least likely to succeed” marriages ever took place? And yet, how in the world do you convince the young and clueless to wait?It’s so darn frustrating!

Hi, curious.In my case, I have always been a conflict-avoiding people-pleaser, so I think I could've been persuaded to wait. But no one tried to dissuade us from marrying when we did. If my parents had encouraged me to wait and at least get a couple years of Jr. College in, I really believe I would've done just that. My family liked my future husband, but didn't really think we were very compatible. I was very easy-going and laid back with quick sense of humour, and H was very moody and serious. I don't know why my family didn't at least TRY to get me to wait, but I really wish they had. They just wanted me to be happy, and they thought we were mature enough to handle marriage. <sigh>In hindsight, I know I was more in love with "playing house" than with my future husband. I was very loved and had a wonderful childhood, but I wanted to be a wife and have a home of my own. My husband loved me, but I think he was more interested in the any-time-you-want-it-sex than anything else. Our road has had some very bumpy places and some smooth spots. Who knows what would've happened if I'd decided to wait a while before marrying my H. I'd only had 1 boyfriend before him, and was completely naive...I didn't give myself a chance to explore any other options. Who knows?at peace

Well I got married when I was 19 and my H was 22. I can't say if this was right or wrong.
We never had many problems throughout our marriage until my H had his A. From what I have read this happens in marriages where couples married later and when couples married in early years. I think it's the way you communicate with one another. Getting married early gave us the possibility to mature together. It's just a matter of going the same direction in the marriage. Usually in marriages that have ended with divorse I have noticed that one of the partners stopped "growing" within the marriage.Mostly the husbands were getting the possibility to climb the steps in their jobs and the woman just seemed to be stuck. They were so involved in children, housework and these kinda things. They were just going in completely different directions. So I would say it is important to keep the balance in a marriage, share the responsibility of what must be done and give each other the chance to grow within the marriage and do what can be done. and then it doesn't matter how old you are when you marry.Hope I didn't make this too complicated. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] hugs
BB

I was 18 when I married, husband was 34 (weird by most people's standards but it's worked for us). I would never say I married to young. Despite all of our problems, marrying my husband was the best decision I ever made. We've been married 11 years and have two beautiful children. I could never regret having them. Oh and after we had been married a couple of years I went back to school and got my degree. My husband supported me fully. If I had gone to school instead of marrying at 18 I would have never have done what I did. I would have ended up being a hairdresser or medical assistant or something like that, not that there is anything wrong with that. But I think waiting and then getting a computer degree was a better profession for me personally.

Gosh, in re-reading my replies to Curious it sounds like I don't even love my husband! That's not the case at all!We've been thru so much together and we've grown up together...challenges that formed a bond that's very strong. There have been times I've wondered if I married the wrong man...but many more times I've felt such immense love for him it doesn't matter what could've been. I still wish we'd waited until we were a little more mature to get married. It might have saved us some of the heartache, but, again, who knows? Blondblossom hit it on the head -- communication and growing together in the same direction are the keys to a healthy marriage. We forgot that. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] at peace

I was 21, W was 19. We talked about it one night. She listed lots of bad, lots of good. Bottom line, She wouldn't change it. ( 25 years this march) You know, I wouldn't either. We had a lot to learn, but got to learn it together. SS

Hanora,In my first marriage, I was 20 and my ex was 22. WAY too young for either of us, but I was pregnant and wanted to do the right thing.I just remarried in March and I am 33 and my new hubby is 28. I would definately say to wait until at least late 20's. I think I'm more mature and my new H says the same thing about himself.Mitzi [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]