Long time lurker, first time poster, registered awhile back. I hope I am OK to post here. I am not shure at this time where me(the H) and my W are headed. We have been married for 15yrs. I new all along somthing was wrong, but I couldnt figure it out, my W wouldnt say anything. I had a mental breakdown last winter, I couldnt understand why I couldnt get close to my wife, and then I thought AFFAIR, my nieghbor found me lying on the garage floor, I must have passed out.I decided to have a complete physical, and made an apointment to see a Psychologist, I am physically in perfect shape(say's my Dr.),I dont feel like I am. I have no depression, so I am not on any meds. After the 2nd time at my Theripist, he told me I need to get my wife to see some one, because she was depressed. After two weeks she decided to see some one, I wil never foget the letter she wrote to me, I could never have dreamed what I read, I will just say that at this point we have cut off all comunication with her family, that was 3 mnths. ago. All she told me since than is she hope to beable to tell me everthing some day, This doesn't even make sence to me, I am sorry I wrote it, but the silence is killing me.

DTS,

You'll find a helpful and experienced crowd here, but we'll probably need more information in order to help...

I will try, when I thought my W was having an affair, that's when I found MB. I have learned a lot, (thanks to all of you). My W is on celexa, and trazadone for her depression, In the letter she wrote, Her brother took her virginity when she was 11yrs old, and then prostituted her to his friends for drugs untill she was 15yrs old, that sent my mind wild, I went and talked to her brother, he spilled his gut's, and he brought her father into this, I cant even believe this, I told my W she is not to blame, but she looked at me and told me that I'M not going To want to stay with her when I find out all the truth, WHAT? We have 6 kid's, hers from first marriage, S24, S21, S20, and our own S12, D11, S2. I Love all my kids! My wife does not remmember her dad being involved, but is know starting to remmember, I could write a book on our life, I dont know how to explain, it is way to long, but I'm going to lose my mind if I cant make sence of this, I wish this was a bad dream. My W was always a very quet person, but she let me think it was all from her 1st marrige, and he was vary abusive. I dont know how say it short, I dont know how to say it, I cant write no more for now, my brain is going south.

DTS,
You are going to go through a lot of pain before this is over. We will try to help. At this point it would be good for you to read as much as you can on this site for general information. You will need a good background to be able to get through this. Much of the information applies to any marriage and will help you better yourself so that you will be able to cope with this crisis.

There is not much we can do with what you have reported so far, I believe counseling for both of you would be a big help. It may be you will have more for us later that we can help with. Please come back as often as you feel the need to talk.

SS