http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=8;t=011612;p=1

Mrs K

From your posts I gather that once you were suicidal. Now you are thinking about making another person feel bad enough to want to die.

I'm a BS. I have felt at times that it would have been better if my WS had just shot me dead.

Chew on that.

It's good the advice you have gotten here is starting to make you think the better of your proposed actions.

What ever you dedcide, the life you had is now gone because you MUST talk to your H about the feelings/needs his is not meeting for you, and the life you two have that caused, is causing, you to consider this action must not be allowed to continue.....

good luck, again it is VERY good you came here,
Prayers for the both of you,

DRS

Mrs K

You don't need help, you know exactly what to do, or more to the point, NOT TO DO. How can I say this as strongly as possible DON'T DO IT!!!!

I am very recently here at the MB site, and am a WS. If there is one thing in life I could do, it would be to take back having the A with the OM. I am still in withdrawal and have feelings for him, and this troubles me, but not half as much as my shame and the pain, humiliation, devastation, hurt, agony, anxiety, angriness, etc. etc. that I have caused to my poor BS. If you love your husband (I even doubted/doubt that I loved my BS, as surely if I did, I wanted have caused this awful thing to happen to him!!!), you just will not do this.

So many times I could have stopped before it started, but I just didn't. In one of your posts you talked about dealing with the consequences when they happened - I did that too to my friends, and believe me, YOU DO NOT WANT TO HAVE TO DO THAT. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I cannot add any other words of wisdom that the other people here have said - I do not have that experience, but I have the very recent experience of the devastation that my life currently is. It is not worth it......

Do not go, be strong, talk to your husband about this, and make your marriage work if it can. If you love him, you're definitely in a good place.

Lisa in London-
What are you doing to get through it? It is hard trying not to pick up the phone to call him.