I don't know what to do...the OW is a group friend...and we are going to a party tonight. My H and the OW do not know that I know. I think I am going to loose my cool, but I am trying to obide by plan A...it's not the place to expose, but I'm sooo hurt!

I thought you confronted your husband.

I did confront him...but he didn't admit to it. He just said that he doesn't think he loves me the way a husband should love a wife. I just got home from the party...and he flew off the handle. Basically, he was starring at her breasts, I told him to stop or I would slap him. He didn't stop so I gave him a very light play slap...he flipped out and said he wanted to end our marriage. It ended up being an hour long conversation, and I left the party. Were we stand now, he says he is going to counseling but doesn't think it is going to help. He says that he would have to confess a ton of stuff to me that would really hurt...and then I would just leave him anyways. As far as the OW...she was nervous at first, but I took the high road and was completely nice. I just got really upset when she was leaning on him, touching him and he was looking at her breasts. I still feel comfort that I took the high road with her. I'm just still scared for my marriage. I think he is a sex addict, and don't forsee him ever stopping this evil cycle. I don't know what to do.

If the OW is married it is absolutely essential that you expose her to her husband.

I read your other posts to try to get a picture of your situation.

Do you have children?

After the other affairs, did you seek counseling?

I agree with your husband that MC will not be effective if he is still in the affair.

Have you read Surviving an Affair? Are you familiar with Plan A. Find the thread "the carrot and stick of Plan A"

Did you save copies of the emails? Can you check his cell phone records? How else could he be communicating with her?

Is she married? If so, you should contact her husband.

Stick around and keep reading and posting.

I was in a relationship similar to yours. He could not help himself. He always found ways to be around other woman and he would tell me that it was not me. I realized that he was with me only because he was comfortable but he no longer loved me. I loved him but he was surching love somewhere else. He was comfortable with the situation because it didn't affect him the way it affected me. we did go to counceling but he had no intentions of making an effort to save the relationship.

If he disrespects you in public, what does that tell you? If he allows that other woman to touch him and flirt with him infront of you, imagine what he would do behind your back. You might love him all you want but if he does not apply himself to your marriage, his lack of respect will eat you alive.

I hope things work out but the problem is not the other women is him.

Susie is right that the problem is not OW but him. BUT, that said, I am so angry on your behalf that a woman who is sleeping with your husband would have the nerve to be touching him and flirting with him RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. Grrr ... I know it's wrong to cast all OW as heinous home wrecking slu*s but, honestly, sometimes you really have to wonder about the morals of these people.

I think you were too nice to your husband at the party. Don't get me wrong. If my H stared at the OW's boobs, I would've warned him that if his eyeballs traveled one more time where it didn't belong and disrespect me in front of his mistress, I will dump hot coffee on your crotch, leave the party and then throw your damn clothes on the front lawn!" And then face the OW, and say, I know you've been s****** my H. As of tomorrow, its your turn to do his dirty laundry because his clothes will be on the front lawn!

Sometimes, you have to play hardball with a WS who is a sex addict, and the OP even if you won't actually do it the first warning.