wife has been gone a month. not sure what's next - 05/03/09 02:07 AM
I don't know what to do. Last November my wife came to me and told me she wanted a divorce. She didn't say why, just said shed felt like she was dying in our marriage. We tried marriage counseling, but that was a disaster. Her anger continued to grow and she blamed me for every problem in her life, for her anxiety, her depression, and low self-esteem. I finally left in mid January. After being gone a week she asked me back. Told me there was another guy at work that she was trying to have an affair with. Apparently he rebuffed her proposition, telling her to fix her marriage. She told me she was sorry. Felt guilty. Would never talk to him again. And wanted to do whatever it took to make our marriage work. I Went on MB in late January and have read every article and completely changed my perspective on relationships and attitudes both in them and toward them. I have read other books as well and worked very hard to grow and change as a person. But it was all on my own. Wife has been on MB but has not applied any of it. Still talks to guy. Still blames me for everything. Moved out last month. We have three kids, 12,10,6. We got married young and have been married for almost 14 years. I don't know if this is a mid life crisis or what, but I just want the nightmare to end. I'm 33 and W is 32. I don't get angry. I am polite when she drops the kids off or picks them up. Even make sure to have a fresh pot of coffee on. I don't know if I am just suppose to just wait for the crash or what, because anything I have tried to do she has either dismissed, or just found something else to hate me over. Some even made up. I have just become her excuse for every problem and her justification for everything she is doing. Any advice would be much appreciated. I still love her. I actually feel really bad for her.